Writing Feedback / Many people believe that it is prominent to buy people's own house rather than rent [2]

IELTS WRITING TASK 2 : OWNING A HOME

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.
Why might this be the case?
Do you think is a positive or negative situation?

In modern society, the house is a crucial necessity that should be accomplished to live in. Many people believe that it is prominent to buy people's own house rather than rent. In my view, this comes from the need of feeling safe; and I think it is positive. I would like to explain more details about my opinion by giving some reasons.

Why are people supposed to buy a house? One reason is that by owning a house, people will live in a permanent place without any threats that force them to move or even cause homeless. Compared to renting a house, they are risked by many possible situations that can negatively impact people's lives, such as having problems with the landlord and raising the cost. Therefore, having a house is vital to making life safe and comfortable. Another reason for owning a house is that people are possible to live in better financial conditions. Even though purchasing a house is very expensive the first time, people can manage their expenditures better after that. The fact is, When renting a house, the hirer should pay the cost every month so they are limited to allocate the income for other beneficial aspects, for example, pursuing an education. Thus, it will be hard for people to make a big step in their life.

Based on the given information, I believe that the condition when people prefer to have their own house rather than rent one is positive. This is mainly because by owning a house, people will have a more stable life so they can focus more on developing careers or education. Moreover, this situation can also lead to a decrease in homeless people.

To sum up, people have the desire of owning a house because they want to have a secure life and better finances. This situation affects positively since the house owner is likely to have a better life and possibly create a better society.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 : LAGUNA BEACH; more and more sophisticated facilities have been built there [2]

The pictures below show the changes that took place at Laguna Beach from 1950 to 1990.

The maps illustrate the development of Laguna Beach from 1950 to 1990. Overall, it is clear that over the period given, more and more sophisticated facilities have been built there.

In 1950, most of the areas were in a natural state. The laguna beach was located in the center of the area adjoining sand dunes in the northeast and woodland in the northwest. The only artificial facilities in Laguna Beach at that time were beach huts located in the north. Moreover, the huts and woodland were separated by a walking track.

After 20 years, several areas have changed. The most significant change happened in the woodland area; the trees were cut then it was constructed to be a caravan park. Other developments were the huts that were replaced by villas and the path nearby was developed to be a road. However, the space of sand dunes and beach did not seem to have any transformation.

In the final year, the facilities in Laguna Beach were more sophisticated. The villas were improved to become a hotel complete with a new pool alongside. Besides, the landscaped gardens were developed in the previous location of sand dunes, and a surf school was added to the beach area. Furthermore, the caravan park was reconstructed to be a car park.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 : THE BENEFITS AND RISKS OF WATCHING TELEVISION FOR CHILDREN [2]

kids and TV - pros & cons

Television is a device that can afford many attractions for people which can be easily accessed from home. As an advanced technology, many people believe that television accord a lot of benefits, while others also consider that it has some risks and challenges, as a result. Particularly for children, the effect of watching television can influence many aspects of their life such as their behavior, their health, and their way of thinking. In this paper, I would like to explain the merits of watching television for children compared to the drawbacks.

Admittedly, television provides various interesting programs for children. Cartoons are a prime example of television programs that are in demand by kids. This kind of entertainment is relatively cheaper than the others. Moreover, television can also be a medium for education. Several channels present enlightening programs that are beneficial and insightful. For instance, Laptop si Unyil is a program from TransTV that gives information about science and technology. Children can learn about the utilization of science and technology in their surroundings by watching it. Additionally, the attraction served by television is beyond its limits. This is possible to show the circumstances under the sea, the space sightings, or the original creatures from far away, which is difficult for them to see in person. This opportunity can increase the imagination of kids.

However, the risks of watching television must be considered. The most remarkable consequence is the health of the eyes. Because television emits UV radiation, watching it for a long time and close distance can cause several eye problems like minus and cylinder. Another challenge is the addiction effect. It is easy for kids to lose track of time when they watch television. As a result, they do not have time for other activities. Furthermore, if children spend almost all their spare time watching television, it affects their behavior. The opportunity to connect with other people is lost and children become individual people. It endangers their ability to make networking that is needed for the future. More dangerous, if children watch television without control, they can not select what they see. Children possibly imitate a bad attitude that is shown such as fighting and bullying.

To sum up, the benefits and risks of watching television will always be debated. But personally, I believe that the disadvantages of it are more so the parents need to strictly monitor their kids when they watch television.