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[IELTS Writing Task 1] The chart below shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit

Alexon 1 / -  
Aug 21, 2022   #1

fruit and vegetables consumption

The given bar graph displays the amount of England who consumed five portions of fruit and vegetables in a day over the period from 2001 to 2008.

Generally speaking, women's daily consumption amount of fruit and vegetables was the highest, followed by men and children respectively.

Starting around 20% of women ate five portions of fruit and vegetables every day in 2001, then this number rose steadily through continuous years until reached its peak at nearly 35% in 2006 and eventually declined slightly to over 30% at the end of the period.

There was a similar trend in the proportion of men and children who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK between 2001 and 2008. The first three years 2001,2002 and 2003 of men's figures witnessed a relatively same percentage of 17%, then it increased to a summit of 28% in both years 2006 and 2007 and dropped marginally by 1% to 27% in 2008. Similarly, the children's numbers began with just 12% from 2001 to 2003, then jumped to the highest point at 26% in 2007, and finished at 24% in 2008.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,797 4780  
Aug 23, 2022   #2
It is quite obvious that the writer does not have proper training and control over the way he creates his sentence structures. He often creates run-on sentences in each paragraph, which prevents his sentences and paragraphs from developing a sense of discussion clarity. While the effort of the writer in the development of the analytical presentation will not be missed by the examiner, he will not be able to give a high score for all the major scoring sections of the essay. This is because the writer does not know how to properly reference English words in relation to what he wishes to indicate or describe.

Part of the GRA problem is that the writer also lacks English sentence rules knowledge. He uses proprietary or ownership references in the presentation when his aim was actually to present the plural form of the word. The best thing for the student to do at this point is to go back to his writing basics. Learn how to write simple English sentences first and in the process, he can also work on building his proper English vocabulary knowledge. The correct words must be used to make proper references in these types of reports and analytical presentations.

This review is based on my way of analyzing and teaching my students. As I know that this student is being mentored by a different online tutor, he will do best to go back to that website and have that mentor continue in developing his IELTS writing styles. It is not my professional policy to meddle where a student already has a teacher. That is the reason why the image was also deleted from this post. We do not allow for indirect advertising of competitor sites at this forum. Ask your mentor to review your next task essay to avoid confusing your learning style. That will be best for you.
sofianur23 3 / 4 1  
Sep 6, 2022   #3
In my view, the writer do not clearly explain the trend so that the reader can not understand the key point of essay. Besides, there are no comparisons between the aspects given, the writer is only mentioning each data. Therefore, it can be seen that the writer don't have ability to interpret the graph.

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