Scholarship / When life throws you Hurdles, theres nothing to do but Leap [3]

Prompt: Tell us about your struggles, successes, dreams, and goals, why you deserve this scholarship and how it will help you accomplish your goals.
Note: I need help with this essay, please. I want to know if it has the impact I am looking for and if you have any suggestions to make it better. I appreciate everyone's feedback!

When Life Throws You Hurdles, There's Nothing to Do but Leap

Hurdling is a track and field event requiring not only speed and endurance, but the strength, and courage, to jump across obstacles without reserve. When people think of hurdlers, they picture tall, graceful athletes leaping over barriers higher than their waists. Never would it cross their minds to think a short 5"5 girl like myself, who had a reputation for tripping over her own feet, and knocking over the objects around her, could be hurdler; most especially not after witnessing me crashing to the ground many times after several failed attempts.

I kept trying stubbornly, despite being doubtful of my ability to succeed. Consequently, I continued to fall, and eventually failed to get back up. I couldn't help feeling like a failure. I attended practice daily, and went through numerous push-ups, squats, lunges, and rigorous sprints to prepare for my first jump, but as I neared the hurdle it seemed to rise higher and higher. I found myself hurtling towards the gritty ground, crying in humiliation and pain as I looked down at a twisted, broken finger. I now needed surgery to piece my shattered bones together, and according to the doctor, might not be able to form a full fist again.

The reality that I would never be able to hold a racket, a pencil or a fork in my left hand crushed me. Nevertheless I dragged myself to my hand therapy sessions. "Bend as far as you can," the therapist instructed. The intense pain that shot through my hand when I first tried to move my finger incapacitated me, making me doubt if I would ever be able to bend it at all. Overcoming the pain felt like trying to leap over a hurdle. "You can't jump over it, if you don't believe you can," I remembered Coach saying. I hesitated when I was faced with an obstacle, and sure enough I fell. Similarly in life, I realized that self-doubt predicates failure. I needed to believe in myself before I could succeed.

Inspired by Coach's words, I was filled with renewed hope. I clenched my eyes shut, and stomached the pain. "I can do this," I repeated, until with triumph, I bent my finger by its first centimeter. My success motivated me to work harder. Each day, I battled the pain and the temptation to surrender. With fierce determination, I worked to bend and extend my finger. Until one day, against everyone's expectations, I formed a full fist, shocking my doctor, my therapist, and everyone who thought I would be handicapped forever. I was filled with pride and triumph. I had leapt over the barrier in my head, the shaky confidence that had so many times led me to failure. I may not have been able to overcome the physical hurdle in the track field, but I had conquered the biggest hurdle of all.

My triumph instilled in me the conviction that although life comes with many challenges, through courage, persistence, and the determination to keep jumping incessantly despite failure after failure, no barrier stands too high. Today, as I prepare to tackle my next hurdle, the rough and rigorous path to becoming an international lawyer, I feel unfazed by the long nights of hard work and sacrifice involved. One day, I aim to transfer to the University of X, to get my business degree and finally enter Y for my J.D. I am confident in my capacity to excel with the opportunity of a good education.

I first entered Z Community College with a busy work schedule, a commitment to volunteering and community service, as well as towards helping my mom, a single parent take care of my younger brother and sister. And although I was burdened by many responsibilities, I maintained six classes with a 4.0 GPA. In this way, I demonstrate an ability to tackle life's barriers, just as I have dealt with my broken finger. My experience has taught me the value of persevering, even when I felt giving up, of setting goals and, working hard to meet them, and most importantly, believing in myself. Through adversity I have emerged a hurdler, with the persistence and determination to readily face whatever barriers may come my way. This is why I deserve this scholarship.

Undergraduate / A Different Spin on The Diversity Essay [8]

I'm trying to throw diversity in a differenty light, in terms of embracing the right to be different as being a good thing. I need to incorporate this quote by Dr. Seuss to depic diversity: Dr. Seuss once said, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Any help, constructive criticisms, or suggestions for improvement would be greatly appreciated. I need help with the organization, where I can place paragraphs to let them have more impact and a better flow. Also I would like to cut out any fluff or unneccessary sentences. Also i think my ending was kind of weak.. WORD LIMIT: 794 Current Word Count: 714

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The rules were simple, if you wanted to be popular, then you had to play the game. You either went along with everyone else or you became an outcast. I used to think that fitting in was everything that mattered, even when it came at the expense if what I believed in.

Popularity in a private all girl's school meant being in the "it crowd," a group of beautiful, seemingly perfect girls who talked about other people behind their backs, who gossiped and took extreme measures to torment anyone who was different. It was this group that I lost myself in. Though I did not directly participate in their campaign of maliciousness, I did not do anything to stop them either. I was afraid to stand against them, for fear of rejection.

When a new girl came into our class from the countryside, she was immediately ridiculed for her funny accent, the oversized glasses, and her aloofness. Whenever she would recite, or when the teacher mentioned her name at roll call, the classroom would be filled with coughing noises, and suppressed laughter. She was treated like a disease, usually avoided and isolated.

Despite these obstacles, I envied that new girl because she did not let the prejudice get to her. She was uniquely herself, and in many ways she was freer than I was because she did not buckle under the pressures of conformity. Though I had succeeded in gaining acceptance, I did not feel the confidence and respect that I thought would come after conforming. I could see myself as the new girl, one wrong step, one miscalculated move and I would be the next reject. At the same time, I began to question the injustices. What right had anybody to dictate what was acceptable? Why did being different have to be a crime?

These locked up feelings I had suppressed were begging for release. And I got my chance that day I found the new girl's desk cruelly overturned by some immature classmates. Seeing her queer drawings, her bottle cap necklace, and several fantasy books scattered on the floor, made something inside me snap. The silence was deafening as I picked up her things and righted her desk. I could feel eyes digging at the back of my head. It was like flipping a switch inside me, turning over a new viewpoint. Prejudice, I discovered was a dangerous and unsubstantiated fear of those who are different. This was the first step of daring to be myself, destroying the prejudice by standing for something that I believed in, the right to be unique.

My heart thudded as I walked back to my seat, feeling like I had just doomed myself. But at the same time I was bursting with pride at having accomplished something bigger than myself. I braced myself for the tirade of insults. But to my utter shock and amazement the room had instead burst into a frenzy of cheering and clapping.

Dr. Seuss once said, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." To break the chains of prejudice one must dare to be different. For, if the world were made of black and white, with differences neutralized, condemned and cast aside, there would be no room to grow. Diversity means having the courage to embrace, those different from ourselves, even if it means stepping out of our comfort zones, or from the groups we belong. Today, I have continued to carry this philosophy with me, that tolerance for others begets respect. And true confidence, comes with being comfortable with who you are, enough to appreciate the beauty of coexisting alongside those who possess a different race, gender, or creed.