Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by andrepr1
Name: Andre Yudha Priyadi
Joined: Feb 20, 2023
Last Post: Mar 2, 2023
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
andrepr1   
Mar 2, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING PART 2: the importance economic progress for a country [3]

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

DISCUSS BOTH OF THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Over the past few years, the debate over prioritizing economic growth in many countries has started. It is often argued that economic progress is the most crucial item on the agendas of some governments. However, others dispute this and believe it is important to consider other types of progress as the primary foundation for a country. In this essay, both views on this subject will be explained, and some examples will be pointed out.

To begin with, many governments regard economic progress as their main priority as acceptable for several reasons. If a country's economic grows, business ventures may expand, and the government can be able to collect more funds through taxes. This fund can be used to other developments, such as education. In terms of how economic context affects education, a few countries have demonstrated that economic growth supports educational quality significantly. In recent years, Indonesia, for example, has allocated a sizable budget for high school and college scholarships. As a result, the policy has benefited many students from low-income families.

On the other hand, some people think that when it comes to the country's goals, the government should consider other types of progress rather than just economic development. Another progress that takes into consideration is the unemployment rate. Indeed, this context is critical for a certain demographic of society because the more people who have income and become self-sufficient, the more prosperous a country will be. Some policies must be implemented in order to improve welfare. Of course, these initiatives need to be effective, assuming that the government can spend more money to reduce the unemployment rate.

To conclude, I believe that the best way forward is to consider economic progress alongside other types of progress. Focusing on the economic aspect may encourage the government from implying benefits and setting more budget for other progress such as education and unemployment rate, and in return, these circumstances might support the country's development.
andrepr1   
Feb 28, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Parents responsibility of making their obese children fat. Should they be punish for it? [6]

The essay is quite brief and needs more supporting ideas.
It is also founded several grammatical errors.
I must say the writer should develop more complex sentences, present ideas clearly, and ensure the essay is understandable.
Some tips are that you have to look over other essay examples, practice your writing and check whether it is grammatically correct or not. Good luck!
andrepr1   
Feb 27, 2023
Writing Feedback / The charts below show the proportion of expenditure by students, on average, at one university [4]

The essay presented a clear overview and analyzed some primary points. There are a few grammatical errors and I think still acceptable.
The writer demonstrates limited vocabulary yet appropriate. However, the structure is less organized, and the conclusion is delivered in an ineffective way.
It would be great if the essay had a complex but well-organized structure and could be understood by everyone who reads it.
andrepr1   
Feb 20, 2023
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING PART 2: the importance of homework for children [4]

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children.

Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.


Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


It is widely believed that pupils need to be given homework as part of the educational process. Others disagree, arguing that assignments should only be given during school hours, allowing students time for other activities and leisure. In this essay, I will examine both points of view and explain why I feel that a teaching program must take into account an individual's capacity and capability.

Those who emphasize the importance of homework argue that if students devote more time to schoolwork, their productivity will increase. The more extra time they spend focusing on studying, the more likely they are to achieve good grades. This possibility drives further educational processes which might strengthen their set of knowledge and escalate students' learning productivity. If teachers only gave tasks during the class, the effect of study would be less preserved and would not be long-lasting.

For others, the appropriate portion of schoolwork is imperative to the learning process. Children who have a lot of homework may have a negative impact on their lives. A pupil, for example, who spends so many hours on homework will have no leisure time and will sleep less. This negative impact can also have an adverse effect on students' mental health because they will be overwhelmed and get stressed easily. It would be preferable if they allocated time for other activities, such as sports and community service.

In conclusion, even though homework is important for children's education, I would strongly argue that it has a detrimental impact on students' health and daily lives. As a matter of fact, teachers should think about how effective learning programs can help children achieve a better school-life balance.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳