The charts below show the proportion of expenditure by students, on average, at one university

The charts below show the proportion of expenditure by students, on average, at one university, in 2000 and 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts depict the average spending on various activities by students at a university for the year 2000 and 2010.

In general, it can be seen that the expenses on food and drink, and utilities were the highest for both the given years, while students spent the least on holidays for both years. Beside that, expenditure for some sections increased whereas others were equal or declined.

Food and drink was the largest part of the overall expenditure in 2000 and remained the same in 2010 too. Students spent just below one-fifths (17%) of their total expenses on sports and cultural activities in 2000, which was also unvaried in 2010. Meanwhile, only 5% of the total spending was on holidays in 2000 as well as in 2010 by university students.

Students spent around 8% and 21% on transport and utilities, respectively, in the year 2000, which rose considerably by 1% and 6% in 2010. The expenses incurred on eating out were only 4% in 2000, the lowest for the year; however, it doubled in the 10-year period and stood at 8% in 2010. Expenditure on clothing by students, on the other hand, dropped significantly from 16% in 2000 to just 5% in 2010.

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You have incorrectly used the conjunction "and" in this case. It is used to define the end of the listing in a series of words, phrases, and clauses. It is best used at the end of the enumeration to indicate the end of the presentation.

I was confused by this summary overview since it did not indicate the number of pie charts presented and did not refer to the fact that the pie charts share the same information indicators. The summary overview is formal, but not effective in giving a proper short form of the necessary information. It left me wondering as to what other information would have helped me understand the purpose of the pie charts, its basis, and the trending statement that was to follow.

From my opinion , i think you did a great job
You did not have so many mistakes
Maybe , you need to fix your overview to be more deductive and understanding

The essay presented a clear overview and analyzed some primary points. There are a few grammatical errors and I think still acceptable.
The writer demonstrates limited vocabulary yet appropriate. However, the structure is less organized, and the conclusion is delivered in an ineffective way.
It would be great if the essay had a complex but well-organized structure and could be understood by everyone who reads it.