orange07245
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / BU 3 personality traits that help a college community [4]
Just use more deatils and emphasizing! It is very interesting to read!
Just use more deatils and emphasizing! It is very interesting to read!
orange07245
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / Fighting and goals/struggles - Personal Statement for University of Arizona? [3]
i agree with the other comments, just bring a more subte start to your first sentence.
i agree with the other comments, just bring a more subte start to your first sentence.
orange07245
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / 'International Summer Village / UNICEF events' - UC prompt#1 [5]
There are some grammatical mistakes like in the first sentence you should add the word ''an'' infront of ''undecided major''. It will sound more grammatically correct. you kind of get off topic, but overall it is well written . You just need to fix the small errors and to pay more attention to the small details.
Good Luck!
There are some grammatical mistakes like in the first sentence you should add the word ''an'' infront of ''undecided major''. It will sound more grammatically correct. you kind of get off topic, but overall it is well written . You just need to fix the small errors and to pay more attention to the small details.
Good Luck!
orange07245
Nov 21, 2009
Undergraduate / UC Essay Success; it can be defined in an infinite number of ways [5]
A P.H.D. in medicine is considered one of the hardest titles to earn, and therefore, it is also one of the most respected professions.
I don't think the following sentence is really necessary, because you are mostly talking of success and i think it doesn't really fit in.
Overall, it is very well written. Good Luck!
A P.H.D. in medicine is considered one of the hardest titles to earn, and therefore, it is also one of the most respected professions.
I don't think the following sentence is really necessary, because you are mostly talking of success and i think it doesn't really fit in.
Overall, it is very well written. Good Luck!
orange07245
Nov 21, 2009
Undergraduate / "picture perfect families" - UC Prompt 1 [4]
I like it alot. i think you should seperate your paragraphs according to the different topics.
Overall it is well written!
I like it alot. i think you should seperate your paragraphs according to the different topics.
Overall it is well written!
orange07245
Nov 21, 2009
Undergraduate / my scoliosis - UC prompt #2 [4]
It is very clearly written. you have a natural writing talent.
It is very clearly written. you have a natural writing talent.
orange07245
Nov 21, 2009
Undergraduate / my parents push me to work hard in school - Personal Statements [8]
Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Some people may say that the world they originated from doesn't really resemble who they have
transformed into or what their educational intentions are. They have an urge to step away from
their tedious lives and alter themselves into their separate world. Conversely, I take a different
approach to this topic. I feel completely satisfied of where I have come from and the person who I have changed into. Having accepted where have I come from has absolutely inspired myself to make a difference and to carry on that ambition for the future.
Please feel free to make any comments!
Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Some people may say that the world they originated from doesn't really resemble who they have
transformed into or what their educational intentions are. They have an urge to step away from
their tedious lives and alter themselves into their separate world. Conversely, I take a different
approach to this topic. I feel completely satisfied of where I have come from and the person who I have changed into. Having accepted where have I come from has absolutely inspired myself to make a difference and to carry on that ambition for the future.
Please feel free to make any comments!
