mrdtt18
Nov 23, 2009
Undergraduate / my parents push me to work hard in school - Personal Statements [8]
Honestly, it is a good essay with many good ideas. Yet, I would look for passive verbs, also known as "to be verbs". Without them, your essay will sound that much better. When I was editing my UC essay with my English class, the teacher told us to look for passive verbs on our essay. So, I have highlighted the verbs I could find. Good luck with your applications!!!
During my life, I have realized why my parents push me to work hard in school and to become a better person. They had arrived in America not knowing how to speak English and struggling to live a happy life. It was very crucial to my parents that their own children do not have to face the same struggles that they themselves had been confronted by. Listening to my parents, made me become aware that I can not let myself down and live such a sorrowful life. While keeping this in mind, I decided to throw my old clothes away and start my life fresh.
While growing up from childhood my parents taught me how to be religious, courageous, determined, and knowledgeable. From a small age, our mother would also teach us religious prayers and we would pray two times a day. She knew that God played a crucial role in our lives, plus I was continuously told that our actions and thoughts always reflected how we are portrayed. These were the vital elements that carried me on till now and has encouraged me to develop into a sensual petal of a carnation. Additionally, the way to become a better person is to perform good deeds, pay attention on our education, and to be religious. I came from a strict and a very affectionate family who believes that achieving goals and performing the best in school is tremendously important. I was taught all these moral and educational ideologies that would help me achieve internal satisfaction in any circumstances. My parents constantly encouraged me to do my highest potential (try my best?)in school by receiving acceptable grades and they advised me that they would do anything to help me achieve educational success. All these ideas were taught so I could be the one in charge of my future and I would be able to live life to the fullest.
Likewise, I am aware that many things in life can be challenging but I assure myself that everything will pay off after college with that ever lasting motivation. My family's encouragement helps me envision that I am capable of reaching any dream or passion that I have a positive attitude towards. Like my parents, I have constantly heeded education and moral values as worthy portions of my life. Furthermore, I have that confidence in myself that will let me attain my goals and to strive harder for everything in life.
Honestly, it is a good essay with many good ideas. Yet, I would look for passive verbs, also known as "to be verbs". Without them, your essay will sound that much better. When I was editing my UC essay with my English class, the teacher told us to look for passive verbs on our essay. So, I have highlighted the verbs I could find. Good luck with your applications!!!
During my life, I have realized why my parents push me to work hard in school and to become a better person. They had arrived in America not knowing how to speak English and struggling to live a happy life. It was very crucial to my parents that their own children do not have to face the same struggles that they themselves had been confronted by. Listening to my parents, made me become aware that I can not let myself down and live such a sorrowful life. While keeping this in mind, I decided to throw my old clothes away and start my life fresh.
While growing up from childhood my parents taught me how to be religious, courageous, determined, and knowledgeable. From a small age, our mother would also teach us religious prayers and we would pray two times a day. She knew that God played a crucial role in our lives, plus I was continuously told that our actions and thoughts always reflected how we are portrayed. These were the vital elements that carried me on till now and has encouraged me to develop into a sensual petal of a carnation. Additionally, the way to become a better person is to perform good deeds, pay attention on our education, and to be religious. I came from a strict and a very affectionate family who believes that achieving goals and performing the best in school is tremendously important. I was taught all these moral and educational ideologies that would help me achieve internal satisfaction in any circumstances. My parents constantly encouraged me to do my highest potential (try my best?)in school by receiving acceptable grades and they advised me that they would do anything to help me achieve educational success. All these ideas were taught so I could be the one in charge of my future and I would be able to live life to the fullest.
Likewise, I am aware that many things in life can be challenging but I assure myself that everything will pay off after college with that ever lasting motivation. My family's encouragement helps me envision that I am capable of reaching any dream or passion that I have a positive attitude towards. Like my parents, I have constantly heeded education and moral values as worthy portions of my life. Furthermore, I have that confidence in myself that will let me attain my goals and to strive harder for everything in life.