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Posts by JennieHeartsYou
Joined: Nov 29, 2009
Last Post: Mar 3, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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JennieHeartsYou   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / UC Prompt 2: Writing (desire to write) [11]

began to drive me crazy? I don't think insane sounds too harsh. And unlike the person above me I seem to draw what kind of person you are: creative, detail-oriented, passionate about writing, committed? Sure you could put the lemonade stand thing and draw the same conclusion, but various experiences can have the same effect on a person. The second half of the sentence with ** prior to it does sound a bit generic though, like something you might find in half the essays submitted to the colleges. good luck with your college apps!
JennieHeartsYou   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / "The first day of classes" - UC Prompt #2 [2]

Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Sprinting down the driveway, I prayed it had arrived. Shuffling through the glossy ads, I came across the coveted letter; it read Columbia High School Summer programs, decision enclosed. Overwhelmed with excitement, I tore open the letter. Ouch. Paper cut. I proceeded with caution. Scanning, my eyes found the word accepted. Never had a piece of parchment made me so pleased. I had been accepted into the neuroscience program.

The first day of classes left me pining for more advanced curriculum. Unfortunately, what was to be covered in the program was simple psychology, everything I had learned from my class in school as well as my subscription to Scientific American Mind. Exploring my options, I realized I could switch into another course, presuming there were openings. Filmmaking sparked my interest. Much to my surprise, someone had dropped digital filmmaking, leaving me with the coveted spot. Having been an avid Youtube video maker, I enjoyed the independence and creative freedom our professor granted the class. The hands-on class allowed practice in all aspects of movie making, and I was extremely excited when I pitched my idea for the final project and my classmates chose it as one of the final films. My experimental film titled "Just Luck" explored the suicidal mind of a teenage boy. Although it was darker than the other films, my teacher labeled it as a standout film with "powerful visuals and editing."

Having been taken in by what she had seen, I began to wonder if there was a scientific basis for the effects film has on people. The more I learned about various techniques in writing, directing, and editing the more I felt I could use the information for future use in neuroscience by studying the impact of such things on viewer's brains. I began to look at a right-brain task, film, from a distinctly left-brain perspective, neuroscience. My summer at Columbia helped broaden my knowledge in film while inciting my curiosity about a new interdisciplinary field, neurocinematics.
JennieHeartsYou   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Excuse me, is your mom home?' - common app essay~ [7]

Wow, this essay is touching. Your strength and independence comes out well in this essay, something colleges are likely looking for. The use of the phone conversations is incredibly effective. The only thing I caught were a few spelling errors, and as the person above said, some grammatical things. Otherwise, good luck with your quest for college admittance!
JennieHeartsYou   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Awakening from my dreamy sleep, UC Prompt #1-my world [4]

thank you :] I tried to tie it in to my desire to perform, but my earlier attempts broke the flow too much and sounded forced. In this I tried to have an underlying theme of performance, implying my dream/aspiration to be in the performing arts. What I figure is, with the amount of essays they will be reading, I at least want them to be entertained and remember me...even if it isn't the best possible answer to the prompt. I'm glad you enjoyed it though, and thank you for the criticism!
JennieHeartsYou   
Nov 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Awakening from my dreamy sleep, UC Prompt #1-my world [4]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Bzzzz. Riiiing. Bzzzz. Riiiing. Awakening from my dreamy sleep, I press snooze. Back to sleep. Riiiing. Snooze once more. Quietly my dad knocks on the door. "Jen, wake up. It's 5:30". Oh, how I dread the morning. Getting up I realize I have a mere twenty minutes to get ready. Scurrying around the room I gather my stuff, and, after doing so, I rush to eat my breakfast, a stale bagel and vegetarian sausage patty (sounds like an oxymoron to me). At dance I want nothing more than my soft bed and a blanket. All too cold, the wooden floor presses against my feet as I pirouette, chaine, and ponche. I wonder why I submit myself to such torture, but then I realize it is not torture if you enjoy it. Scanning, my eyes find the clock- 7:10. My clothes changed, I hurry to dreaded AP Calculus. Walking inside, I see my forty classmates more stressed than ever before. Shoot. Related rates. Optimization. Test Thursday. Today's Thursday. Oh well. Bring it on.

Bell rings. "Pencils down." Finally it's over. Welcoming my remaining classes, I breathe a sigh of relief and continue out the door. Periods 2-4 crawl by and finally lunchtime arrives. Needing a break, I sit at a bench with my friends, enjoying those glorious thirty minutes. Although I rarely have down time, constant busyness works for me. Everything I do is like a performance, whether or not I feel my best, I aim to perform at my best. I can only hope someday my job will be to perform, to act, to direct films, to edit films, or any combination of the arts. All I know is I'm ready for my Oscar.

Bell rings. The show must go on. Time for more monotonous classes, more assignments, more busy work. In English, Mrs. Stempson reminds me how soon applications are due. "Your essay can make the difference of an acceptance or rejection letter". Wow, no pressure. She continues, "I can tell you just what they want to see". I question this statement. Is there really a formula for this? I mean, I know they do not want to hear a laundry list of my qualities and accomplishments (I am a field hockey goalie, dance team captain, and nationally competitive horseback rider, in case you were wondering), but how could you really know exactly what they want? Suddenly the answer assaults me, I know what colleges want, they want me to be myself! Hurray for clichés. Unfortunately, being myself may not quite compare to the other kid, the kid with 10,000 hours of community service, the kid who is president of National Honor Society, Surfrider, Asian club, and The Simpsons club, the kid who invests time in everything he thinks the colleges want rather than investing time in things he find most enjoyable. The abrupt ring of the bell ends my thoughts.

Field hockey time. I rush to the locker room, rush to get dressed, rush to the field, rush to the bus. Today we play Torrey Pines, ranked 3rd in the county. We're about 30th, which means today I, the goalie, will be getting tons of action. This fact excites me because I enjoy nothing more than a challenge. Arriving, we begin our warm ups; however, I notice the other team just sitting and talking. They really think they have got this in the bag. Let the games begin. Time flies as shot after shot flies towards me. We lose 5-1. On the upside, 30 saves isn't too shabby. On the bus home, I am aware of my exhaustion, but I realize I wouldn't change it for the world. Dance, school, field hockey, homework, and some eating in between--that's my world. Arriving home, I set my alarm for the next day. Crawling under the covers, I gratefully fall asleep. . .

Riiing. Bzz. Encore.
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