Undergraduate / A lifetime engagement in research ----Duke engineering supplement [2]

If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke.

An early memory of mine involves often visiting the immunology laborites at which my parents worked. My curiosity led me to touch, pull, and poke anything I could get my hands on. I once "borrowed" a pipette and test tubes from the storage shelf, hoping to assimilate with my parents' lab coat-clad co-workers. However, I was most amused by the shiny handle of the emergency safety shower. With both hands grasping the handle, I pretended to be the world's greatest gymnast - except my valor was interrupted by a sudden rush of ice cold water. I was drenched from head to toe. The cold water gave me rude awakening, but in the end, I had fun playing around in the lab. More importantly, I realized that the lab was a place of discovery, excitement, and innovation. It was a place I definitely planned on returning to again and again - at least after being grounded.

I probably won't be stealing pipettes and hanging from shower handles any time soon, but the thrill and fervor for discovery I received as a young researcher can be hard to come by in a realistic world. Such thrill can only be perpetuated in a passion and energy fueled environment, an environment that Duke not only possesses but also has continually strived to progress. As a relatively younger institution, Duke encourages a sense of progressivism that I have not discovered in other top colleges. Such spirit is especially invaluable to my intended field of study, and it is encouraging to know that Duke will compel me to explore beyond my boundaries. At Duke, with its vast expanses of ethereal woodlands, proud, Gothic architecture, and pleasant climate, my resources of inspiration will be boundless.

My engagement in biomedical research was renewed when I attended a Juvenile Diabetes Charity Walk. I will never forget the sea of children I encountered, with insulin boxes bouncing to the rhythm of their footsteps. I felt vulnerable yet secretly intrigued by such a silent and otherwise invisible disease. What was it that made insulin the nectar of life and death? Why were particular children susceptible to the disease? What could be done to improve the standard of living of those children who suffered? My once naïve angst for discovery was now employed for the purpose of the common good. I was not allowed in the laboratory, yet I devised a method to conduct research through bioinformatics and online databases. Using only a computer, I compiled genes that could potentially cause type 1 diabetes. It is inspiring to know that one day my finding may contribute to enhanced therapeutic methods for type 1 diabetes.

At Duke, I will be fortunate enough to experience the frontiers of research. With boundless research and engineering opportunities in Durham and the surrounding research triangle, I know that I can easily continue my quest for better type 1 diabetes treatments. Most importantly, I admire Duke because of its mission to provide students with the skills for the betterment of society with programs such as DukeEngage. Such humility is encouraging and rarely emphasized in equally prestigious schools. Duke's dedication to knowledge in service of society will help me on my journey to transform the lives of those children I met on the diabetes walk as a child.

From stem cell research to tissue transplantations, biomedical engineering is growing at unprecedented levels. I have complete trust in that Duke University's dedication to research and dynamic learning environment will prepare me for an ever-changing field of study.

I wrote this in a hurry, and am a concerned with word choice and the overall flow of the essay. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)

Undergraduate / "I am reminded of how unique my life is" - Common App Essay--Seeking Feedback [8]

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

On most mornings, I do not drag myself out of bed until I hear the clattering of pans and smell the aroma of eggs frying downstairs. They are not just any eggs; my dad serves them golden brown and crispy with a healthy squeeze of ketchup. I acknowledge that my morning dose of ketchup may seem weird, but the cool, glossy ketchup paired with crunchy egg is an undeniable culinary harmony. Each bite is a collision of east meets west, of eggs fried Chinese style paired with a classic American condiment. On these mornings, ketchup is no longer simply a tangy condiment but a representation of a cultural fusion that I have learned to thrive and evolve in.

I wondered what my friends would think about fried eggs and ketchup. I can just see then scrunching up their noses in disgust. There was a time when I wished my dad would cook scrambled eggs, because that's what my "American" friends would have eaten. I had wished that he would let me cut my own food with the help of a fork, and that he wouldn't send me off to school with a box of pungent cabbage dumplings he loved to make. I found it amusing yet disappointing that most of my formal documents had the words "alien" written on what I thought were the most conspicuous areas, even though I had lived in the states for nearly my whole life. Most of all, I wished that I was the typical blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl, and that my parents did not have that awkward accent when we went to greet-the-teacher night. Did I actually want that? Was I supposed to want that?

Such awkwardness followed me to my native land. I found myself sticking out like a sore thumb even when I visited relatives in China. The uncles and aunts who helped raise me in my childhood now referred to me as the "American girl," even though I have sleek black hair and brown eyes like they do. Furthermore, the world I lived in revolved around Saturday orchestra rehearsals, the latest article in Time magazine, weekends in the laboratory, and the newest indie bands - a world out of touch from the frugality that they must endure and from which I was able to escape. Stemming from years of detachment, a growing language barrier shattered any hope left for understanding and personal connections. Because of that same detachment, not a single bone in my body could register the smell of my coal-mining hometown, the shabby fu sign on our weatherworn double doors, or the row upon row of clay shingles with any signs of familiarity or home. If I wasn't American or Chinese, then what was I?

I had an epiphany one day as I was eating my eggs. Eggs themselves were so bland and ketchup itself so tart and sharp; the combination of two extremes made a perfectly balanced intensity that still excite my taste buds. This single meal made me realize that maybe I didn't need to assimilate to a single culture; I walk the middle ground and have the ability to select the best from each culture to use to my advantage. For example, in negotiations, I now utilize both philosophies of Chinese complacency and American persistency. Concerning family, I exercise the Chinese traditions of honoring one's elders but retain the American sense of personal identity and opinions. In social scenes, I exhibit both Chinese restraint and a hint of American effervescence. My mind was finally able to release the cookie cutter mold I had identified with Chinese or American, and I was free to discover the hybrid me.

Now, there are no more complaints about eggs. Each morning, I am reminded of how unique my life is and how fortunate I am to be able to experience the wonders of two worlds.