Writing Feedback / Super Size Me! - Movie reponse/ Most memorable part [3]

Movie Response I:
Type a 400-600 word essay that answers the following questions on Super Size Me! Be as thorough as possible. Be sure to back up your ideas with evidence and specific examples from the movie and/or society.

(Note there are two parts. You need to answer both parts in one essay.)
Part I. What is the most memorable part of Super Size Me! and why?
Part II. Should any laws or policies be instituted to help combat obesity in our society? Should corporations assume any responsibility or be obligated to abide by any guidelines? If so what are they, and how can they be enforced? If not why should we leave the current rising trend of obesity, with all of its consequences, unchecked?

Essay::
Why are Americans so fat today? There is one answer: It is because of fast food. Super Size Me! is not the first movie that directly attacks the fast-food companies but it provides enough information to convince people how dangerous fast food is. Personally, the movie has strong evidences combining with a lot of funny parts which make them become undeniable and unforgettable.

Everything's bigger in America. We've got the biggest cars, the biggest houses, the biggest companies, the biggest food, and, finally, the biggest people. America has now become the fattest nation in the world. Congratulations ". I like the statement appeared at the beginning of the film. It is not only playing the role as the hook of the movie, but also creating humorous mood for the entire movie. Firstly, the statement is all about the achievements of America, such as big cars, big houses, big companies, and big food; and then, it suddenly turns into an unwanted achievement, the biggest people. The statement immediately provokes the question inside me: Why are Americans so fat today?

A year ago, I used to eat out at least once a day; fast-food restaurants became the places that I visited mostly. Because they were easier and more convenient to ...

Writing Feedback / How to Cheat on The Exam - Process Analysis essay [6]

Hi EF_Team

Millions thanks for helping last time, Sarah. I got an A for that essay after following your advices.

Now is a new topic that I have to turn in on Friday (You see? My teacher is easy but she alway gives us too much homework with too little time to finish) :(

Can you help me to revise this one? And give me some suggestions to write the conclusion?

Thank you :)

How to Cheat on The Exam

Cheating on the examination is one of the most risky things that you could do during your high school's years. However, its reward is sometimes remarkable, especially when you have several exams in one day or have to face the hardest exam of the year. Even though there are many methods to become a professional-examination cheater, including technology and expensive tools applied in cheating process, you should firstly master the classic method if you have never cheated before. There are three main factors to create a classic cheater; they are mood, eye-sight, and technique. If you listen closely and follow correctly, you will have higher percentage to succeed and survive.

Your mood while taking the exam is one of the most important elements. If you step in the classroom with bad feelings, a worrying face, and sweating profusely - that's it, you are done. Your exam supervisors will notice when they see a worried look on your face, and trembling hands when you receive the exam sheet. Then, they will put eighty percent or more of their focus on you. Believe me! They have a lot experience of detecting a cheater like you. However, if you have confidence stepping inside classroom with neat clothes and bright face, they may think of you as a good student who is too confident to get the highest grade in that exam. That is how you create your own safety zone among your enemies.

The second important element is your eye-sight. Actually, while taking exam, all cheaters need to watch their supervisors even though how scary they are (Or ugly - if you like). But that might be the worst mistake if your supervisors notice you looking at them. They will wonder why you look at them so often, or they may think you like them. Anyway, they will pay back and look at you as much as you do. That's it. You have no chance to make a move. The tip here is try to avoid watching your supervisor too much, but does not forget to know where they are. You can try to look like a thinker, staring up and putting the chin on your hand, looking somewhere near the supervisors, and making sure they are still in your peripheral vision. That is enough to know where your enemies are and what they are doing. You should use your ears more than your eyes because hearing and listening work just as well to detect your supervisors' positions. Moreover, your sense of hearing will be very sensitive in exam time. Do not look at them when they are approaching you within a specific range - mine is five feet, or you will raise their suspicious level. If you remember and apply correctly the rules above, you can ensure that it will be almost impossible for them to detect you.

After getting enough confidence and keeping low suspicious level, now you can start to do the job. Everything that you can bring to your classroom now becomes your best friends; erasers, rulers, pens, pencils, or even your watch can be good places to hide your cheat sheets. You should prepare them at home. The text should be very small and neat, but still readable. Then, fold them into small pieces and put them into your pens, pencils, or under you watch, and use them when you are in safety zone of the classroom. Now are your erasers and rulers. You should choose metal rulers with smooth face, and then write your cheat on the erasers and on one face of the rulers. Do not write on both faces because you can hide your cheat by facing the cheating side down. If you feel they are not enough, you may use your hand's palms or any where else on your body as a secretly hidden place - Some girls wear skirts and they make the other side of their skirts full of text. Hand's palms are one of the most useful places to put the years - if you are in history exam, or the equations - if you are in physics, chemistry, or mathematics exam, because they are safe and easy to use - face them up to use and face them down to hide. Lastly, make sure you bring all of your best friends to your table and use them wisely.

(working on the conclusion)

Writing Feedback / Inflation, a small change causes huge impacts - Causes and Effects essay. [4]

Hi EF_Team !

Could you please help me to revise this essay. My professor just asks me to write about causes and effects, any topic.
Here it is. However, I don't fell the conclusion is Ok. I end up this essay with a quotation because my professor prefers it (as she talked in class). Please give me some advices and help me to revise it.

Thanks a lot ! :D

P.S: English is not my 1st language so I might have some serious errors in my essay :D. Don't laugh ^^

Inflation, a small change causes huge impacts

Inflation is one of the most worried problems of all economies in the world. People may think developed countries where industry is the main factor created their economies will be suffered a lot by inflation, but they are wrong; developing countries are not in better situation during inflation periods. In Asia, Vietnam becomes the country suffered most from inflation. Vietnamese people have to struggle for their lives every day, unemployment rate goes higher, and many companies and factories have to shut down because of inflation.

In Vietnam, if someone tries to listen to radio, or pays more intention to TV daily news, they may realize that economists always talk about growth rate and inflation of the country. Some of their words may become so familiar to Vietnamese people, such as "the Price Index this month has increased 0.4 percent over the previous month" or "the inflation of the first six months of this year now is four percent"(Vietnam Inflation). For some people, a small change like 0.4 percent or even four percent of something is not a bothersome number, but they do not see how it is dangerous and the impacts of that small number to their lives, especially foods and clothes which are the most needed things but also are affected most. For example, a canned fish that was about one dollar six months ago now goes up to one dollar and fifty cents. A small amount added to that canned fish causes a lot of problems for poor people because they cannot afford that added cents. Because Vietnam is a developing country, most people are in average or even low class; their incomes are maybe around sixty three dollars a month (Runckel) - less than wage of an American worker in one day. As the result, people have to forgo luxury items to get more of what they need, such as spending less money on new cars or motorbikes, and expensive clothes to get enough foods as well as cheap clothes for their family.

People are not only the one affected by inflation but also companies and factories. Higher prices mean higher expenses for them which can cause financial problems and slow down developing companies. Therefore, to face with inflation, they end up their problems by using new strategies, such as running in smaller-size factories, firing as many workers as they can. Unskilled and old workers now become the first target to be fired. Moreover, in Vietnam, most workers are unskilled which do not have any college degree, paying low wages and having very few protections from laws.

However, not all companies can survive during inflation periods; some may give up and shut down their factories. Workers in those factories become unemployed ones. With no college degree, they cannot find another job and become unemployed ones. As the result, inflation causes the unemployment rate go higher; more people have no income, and a small amount added to their foods now becomes their nightmares.

The change in inflation is maybe small and is only measured in percentage but the impacts of it can be unimaginable. For society, it makes people have to struggle for their lives, forgo their dreamed houses, cars, or motorbikes, and use their budgets carefully. For economy, it slows down the development, and forces many companies to fire their workers, run in smaller sizes, or even shut down, making unemployment rate go higher. Inflation is almost like a tornado that absorbs everything continually from the country. "People are trying to save money but it's almost impossible to avoid paying more," said one Vietnamese consumer (Reuters).

Works Cited

"Vietnam Inflation Rate Key..." Thanh Nien Daily. Trans. Hoang Bao. 2008.

Runckel, Charles. "Workers Wages in Vietnam..." Business-in-Asia.

Reuters. "Vietnamese Suffer 'Sticker Shock' As Inflation Rises." Chao-Vietnam, by Mike Weston.