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Posts by realcheesecake
Joined: Dec 29, 2009
Last Post: Dec 29, 2009
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From: United States of America

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Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / UPenn - (page 217) grammar? [7]

Awesome essay! The grammar/punctuation are great, but if you still have space, maybe you should say something about Benjamin Franklin and how he related to you. Just a suggestion, the essay is great as so.
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Brown- why essay (an awesome place to hang out) [7]

I like the whole "Dear journal" idea, but I think the substance is slightly lacking. Basically, Brown is asking you:

1) Why Brown?
2) What made you want to apply?

I think your journal entry is a bit too superficial, as it shows nothing about you and only about what you hope to major in. It also doesn't apply specifically to Brown- you can replace the name "Brown" with any other university and the essay still works. It needs to be college-specific and focus on YOU.