Undergraduate / "I am an explorer." - Northwestern: WHY ESSAY... [6]

^Here is the Northwestern Statement, if this is the one you're talking about:

"What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?"

I think they mean the specific programs at Northwestern that attract you and how you want to take advantage of those opportunities. In other words, they are testing to see if you've done the research on the university, and in that case I would strongly suggest that you mention a little more of the university other than the fact that the people there "explor, creat and transform". Just a suggestion. It's possible that you may be applying to a specific engineering department or school where the prompt is different. If so, disregard what I just said.

Good luck on your applications.

Undergraduate / How 4 letters have influenced my life [6]

In response to what tkkt1 said:


I think since it's the common app essay, you can just select the last option, the write-about-your-own-topic one, instead of the significant experience option.

Great essay about names... I can totally relate to how you feel about having an extremely uncommon last name because both my first and last name are unusual and hard to pronounce:)

Again, it's great overall except a few sentences here and there that are somewhat awkward, like this one:


Lol, you lost me in that sentence:) What are you trying to say there? In any case, "other's" should be "others", etc.


Combine this with the previous sentence. Change to "This, I have no doubt, is a result of hard work, work to which I have dedicated 16 hours a day in front of my easel..."

Anyway, good luck with your application!

Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement Essay: Some questions cannot be answered... [5]

Idk if there's anything else you can still change, and I think it's fine in term of the word count. Honestly, mine was about 530 words and I've submitted it a while ago, so I don't think a few words over the limit is a problem. Besides, your essay flows very well and doesn't take much time to read. It doesn't feel very long at all.

Undergraduate / "I am an explorer." - Northwestern: WHY ESSAY... [6]

I thought the specific prompt of Northwestern was "what unique qualities of Northwestern made you want to apply...?" If so, then perhaps you should spend a little time discussing the specific programs of the university that interst you in addition to your own personal qualities.


Use a dash instead of a comma.


Change it to "believing that nothing could daunt me , I then spent my whole afternoon trying to understand...


Slightly awkward, re-phrase.

"After collecting all materials and tool required, including paper, scissor and pencil, I began my creation by plotting the contour of the boomerang on the paper..."

Anyway, you get the idea:) Good luck!

Undergraduate / Upenn Supplement: Bioengineering + EWB [12]

"I am a young woman striving for the extraordinary, living my life without inhibitions and hoping to encounter a little thing called happiness."

"...double spaced 12 point font can fully portray the extent of my ambitions and the essence of who I am..."

"my membership will serve as a medium to my capacity and power to change the world and shape the direction of the future as an engineer..."

Medium to your capacity and power? It sounds a little strange. Maybe phrase it differently?


How can you "emancipate", or liberate, the college of your dream??

Anyway, great essay! You conveyed your love for science and your desire to help others very well:)

Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement Essay: Some questions cannot be answered... [5]

I love this essay:) I think this part right here,


kind of distracts from the main point of your essay, so it can be reworded or shortened to eliminate some words.

I love the beautiful descriptions in the first paragraph. Nice action verbs... though if you really want to cut down on the number of words, you can get rid of the part where you talked about hiking with your dad, because even though it's nice language, it's also irrelevant to the main point of the essay. A possibility would be to talk about seeing the bug at night by the camp fire instead of in the woods, then about how you fell asleep, had the dream, and had the whole epiphany. Just an idea.

You also tend to use a lot of compound sentences connected by "and", especialy in the first paragraph, which can become somewhat tiring afer a while:) (Actually, I always tend to do the same as well in my own writing.) Since you're obviously a great writer, why not play with the sentence structure a little more? You may actually be able to eliminate some words that way.

Great job!