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Posts by lauren492
Joined: Dec 29, 2009
Last Post: Dec 30, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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lauren492   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "At Home" - Notre Dame Undergrad Admissions Essay [3]

You don't really mention how you will contribute to the Notre dame community. I believe that if you add in how you will/plan to contribute to Notre Dame (perhaps starting a new commuinity service club?)your essay will be even that much more astounding!

Hope I helped!

Lauren
lauren492   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / I don't know what it's like to lose a parent; Brown supplement. [3]

the max is 500 words and so far I have 495, but I need help revising the essay.

I would be more than happy to help a fellow writer, let's help each other out people! :)

French novelist Anatole France wrote: An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. What don't you know?

I'm sure that if she were she given the chance, my mother would be able to provide you with a much longer list of what I do not know; in fact most of my time is spent by asking and learning from her. I do know that from this point on, my life will become indefinitely more challenging. Life never gives you the challenges that you expect. Instead it gives you the ones that end up consuming most of your time.

As general as the question may appear and of the many different ways it can be answered, I am drawn to my most recent experience. I don't know what it is like to lose a parent. To have my life change so drastically in such a short amount of time that you barely have time to catch your breath. The week of Christmas, my family laid to rest a very dear and loving uncle. A man of not only great integrity and love but of such strong conviction in his faith that while his family will dearly miss him, they cannot help but feel happy and at peace knowing he is sitting next his Lord, a place he has always dreamt of being.

While my uncle's passing is indeed a great loss, he leaves behind such a strong legacy in his three beautiful daughters, Jennifer, Suzanne and Celeste, who have all shown such grace and humility, as they sat down in front of their fathers casket as strong, enduring women supporting their mother in her time of great sorrow and need. Yet, what is most astounding is that while they are all deeply saddened and will miss him tremendously they do not cry. For they know that my uncle has reached that one place he has been longing for all his years.

This experience was a double edged sword, it made me question whether I would be able to endure such a life altering experience and survive through the pain that will inevitably come. I have always teetered back and forth between what I have been raised to believe in and what I choose to experience. When faced with pain and disappointment, you tend to deeply question what to believe strongly in. Would I have such a strong belief in my faith that through the tears I would be able to smile knowing my parents are at peace? Could I accept heartache so peacefully and not be afraid?

It's such a sad relief knowing I have yet to experience this pain, though it is indeed inevitable. While I do not know what it is like to lose a parent and have my faith tested so at the same time, this experience has changed me profoundly. I will maintain my belief that while life may never give you the challenges you can expect, the power of love and faith can carry you to another place so deep within yourself that you will indeed make it.
lauren492   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Crockett to INTERPOL - NYU Prompt 3 [7]

Those are pretty good titles,
if you're leaning more along a title with the word peace,

you could just use the latin word for peace:
pax pacis, otium, pax pacis
or you could combine the latin word for maker (formator) to form 'PEACEMAKER'

it still revolves around your movie, as you are the security general for INTERPOL
and still sounds intriguing and mysterious.

Just suggestions, however.

it's be great if you could provide any feedback for my thread! :)
lauren492   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / Crockett to INTERPOL - NYU Prompt 3 [7]

Perhaps something along the lines of 'Breakthrough'? Since you seem to be constantly progressing and being promoted to positions of higher authority and whatnot..:)
lauren492   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / NYU SUPPLEMENT - summer, college, poem, movie - edits required [3]

I really love your poem!

Perhaps You could add the following changes:

Though I was alone for most of summer, my parents having left the previous week, I learnedI was home alone for most of my summer vacation. My parents had left a week earlier to travel together. I was alone for most I learned to travel by myself and had the chance to experience the world on my own. Not only did I visited my sister in California and experience the famous Castro Street in San Francisco I also flew to Maryland to spend time and bond with close relatives. While in Maryland, I studied and prepared for the SAT's and went to Ocean City. I also got the chance to travel to Washington to experience the city life in Seattle. At the end of my summer, I came home having explored new worlds.

either way, I think you've done a fine job! Please do visit my threads and give any advice you have!
:)
lauren492   
Dec 29, 2009
Undergraduate / So many possible career paths for me, whether it's educating or working as a pro bono family lawyer [3]

I'm in the process of developing a conclusion of sorts but just wanted some help in determining if I'm on the right track as far as having the essay flow and what not. any help would be greatly appreciated. !:)

French novelist Anatole France wrote: "An education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't." What don't you know?

I'm sure that were she given the chance, my mother would be able to provide you a much longer list of what I do not know, in fact most of my time is spent by asking and learning from her. Realistically speaking I do know that from this point on, my life will become indefinitely more challenging but one of the things I do know is that life never gives you the challenges that you expect-it gives you the ones you don't. The ones that end up consuming most of your time- for example pursing my education will definitely be a long term challenge but it is one I look most forward to. Having come from very modest means, I know that I wouldn't be writing this letter were it not for the fact that through the sacrifices of my parents I have been fortunate to attend schools that allowed me to blossom academically and individually. It is because of their sacrifices I have been able to succeed in ways that are not readily available to millions in our world today. Like many other applicants, I do not know whether I will be one of the lucky few to be accepted into Brown nor do I know what tomorrow holds but I know that I am going to pour all I possibly can into making sure that I give the best I possibly can. (Really thinking about just omitting this sentence. Bleh.)

I feel so very strongly about so many possible career paths whether it's educating our nations future musicians, doctors and leaders, aiding families medically as a traveling pediatrician or as a pro bono family lawyer that I do not know what I will become. While these all may seem like a naive students idealistic approach to help the world, I believe that with the help of Brown's liberal approach to education I will be able to explore these avenues and determine where I would be most needed.
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