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Posts by lic12
Joined: Jan 7, 2010
Last Post: Jan 26, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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lic12   
Jan 26, 2010
Writing Feedback / a job at Shell Plaza:An experience that significantly led the setting your goals [3]

Could ya'll please help me prove read this, I would really appreciate it. Thank You!

Last summer of 2009, I started my first job. I was trilled with excitement but with fear at the same time. I didn't know what to expect. I had never worked in my whole inter life. It was a job at Two Shell Plaza. I was recruited as an intern by my school program called Business Professionals.

The first day at work was nerve racking, the night before I didn't sleep at all. When I arrived to my first day at work, the day went by pretty smooth. I didn't have trouble learning all the tasks I had to do. After about two weeks I didn't have any trouble doing my task and doing what was expected from me. When I received my first paycheck, I was stunned on how much I had made during those two weeks. I had never had so much money all for me. I didn't know what to do with it. So I just blew off on anything that I would see at the stores and wanted. After two weeks my money was gone. I couldn't believe how fast I had spent it.

As the time pass by my parents expected me to pay a bill every month. They also stop giving me money. I had to be pay for everything I wanted. So whenever I wanted to go out and eat, I had to pay for my own money. At first I didn't know how to control my money on what I spent and didn't spent. Later on I had no other choice. I couldn't just spend my money on whatever I desire. I had to make a budget for myself on the things that were needed and on the things that I wanted. I also started saving up money, so I had to open my own account. I was growing up. I was learning how to spend my money wisely.

Having a job made me see how everything that you want, you must work for. That nothing is free. Every single thing that you have has been to pay for. Even the smallest things we sometimes don't pay any attention to, like napkins and paper towels. Someone had to work to earn that money in order to buy those products.

This experience made me see that if I want to have enough money to spend on things that I like, I have to go to college. If I want to have the nicest cars I have to go to college and get a good paying job. With the job that I have now I would not come close to pay my own expense.

Having this experience has influence on the goals that I have now of going to college and saving up enough money to buy myself a car. It has taught me the value of saving up and the importance of going to college to get a good paying job. I think that if you have lots money, the only way to keep that money is to go to college and learn how to use your money wisely.
lic12   
Jan 26, 2010
Writing Feedback / Take a trip to Vietnam? (persuasive paragraph) [3]

I think that you shouldn't summerize what you're going to talk about in your intro. Just give out key points of what it is that your going to talk about.
lic12   
Jan 25, 2010
Scholarship / Travel to Europe - A significant opportunityand the impact it had on you [4]

During last year's spring break I had the opportunity to travel to Europe. For me this was like a dream come true. I had never gone outside of the country in my life or had traveled in an airplane before. My parents had made this dream for me possible. The trip was part of a school fieldtrip, that meant that it involve traveling with the schoolteachers.

The trip cost was about two thousand five hundred dollars including all expenses. I don't come from a family that can just decide to spend money on a child and send them to travel to another country just like that. On the contrary my family right now barely has money to support our family. Fortunately we had to pay the trip in about a year. During that year my family was on a budget. And during that time I had manage to save up about two hundred dollars for the trip. I was also selling candy and chips at school to help pay for my trip and had raised a total about five hundred dollars selling candies and chips. My relatives donated money for me to go on that trip as well. When I saw this, I felt as if I had a family that cared and loved to me so much that they were willing to help me get together enough money to go on this trip.

When I went on that trip I felt as if I was the happiest person in the world. I felt appreciated and fortunate to have a family like the one I had. I experienced so much on that trip I got to go see the Eiffel tower in Paris at night, which was a beautiful experience for me. I also got to look at the leaning tower in Pisa, Italy. In London I got to go look at the clock of London, though I didn't to see Queen Elizabeth, London is a wonderful place to look at. Each place that I went to I saw how different their culture is from ours. I also got to see how fortune I am to live in the United States. Many of those places didn't have clean water to drink out of, or public restrooms. Here in the United States, in almost all the places we go to there is a public restrooms and clean free water that we can drink out of.

Visiting these places made a huge impact in my life. I got to experience so much different incredible things. Starting off with the different cultures that each country had to offer. I got to experience the different manners and the history of each country. Not only that but paying for the trip made a huge impact in my life. It helped me realize, how fortune I am to have the kind of family I am. They have given me the strength to keep on going with school. They have shown me that dreams can come true, with a little help from everyone and you anything is possible. The fact, that I was able to travel around the world, which was something that I thought, I would ever do, gave me hopes that maybe I can go to college and get a degree.
lic12   
Jan 25, 2010
Undergraduate / Need ideas about essay "Why this college." [8]

Look at what the college has to offer that other colleges don't have. Also why you picked it, is it because this college is closer more convinient, do they offer classes that you are interested in. Also look at the college history. Is it a good school. Are you going there because one of your family members went there. Or is it cause your friends are going to that school as well.
lic12   
Jan 25, 2010
Writing Feedback / How I learnt English [2]

I think you should start off where you came from, then proceed on to telling us where you work at and how you learned English.

I think, Still I am not qualified in English and learning more and more everyday. Hence I request masters to correct my mistakes here and help me get a better knowledge.

Im not fully great in English, but everyday I tend to learn more and more everyday. Therefore I try to get teachers to correct my mistakes and help me get better in English.
lic12   
Jan 7, 2010
Scholarship / Essay in subjects in which you have excelled.To what factors do you attribute it [3]

My English class for my senior year has been a class in which I can truly say that I have excelled in. Unlike my pass English teachers of my high school years, this teacher has made an extra effort to get through her students. English for me has always been difficult subject to excel in. This past semester it has been different, unlike in my other English classes I had trouble understanding English literature well. With a new teacher this school year, my teacher has helped me a lot. I have become a more open mind person I have actually made studying a habit for myself. To be the main reason why I have excel in my English class in because the factor that she has made class fun. She has open up our mind to look beyond the words written on a piece of paper. She has influenced me to think deeper in my inner self. She has also introduced me to a new world of literature and that English is not just a language but also something in which we use words to express what we feel about something; that we can use those words to make something sound different Like in books gives us an imagination of a whole other world through words by reading them it is what we tend to experience. Also that, by way words is written, like in a poem, can give the reader the same feelings as the author had when writing the poem. She has also helped me understand and analyze a poem much better. Before her I pretty much could not understand poems. I sincerely just read them but didn't know the meaning behind the words. I couldn't manage to understand it. Now is completely different I can actually read a poem and automatically understand it. English has now become one of my favorite subjects in school. I have learned to excel this subject. Another factor that attribute for me to excel in this field was the fact that I learn to make myself study. Study, study, I studied for every test that I would have upcoming. This not only help me get a really high grade on my tests but also it also imposed me to study for every assignment and test in each of my other classes. Excelling this subject was not an easy task for me to do. I found it very difficult at times to set myself down to study on my class assignments. By having a teacher that made studying for a test not a choir but more like a game. She gave us and taught us different kind of ways in which we could use our spare time with our family, to study with. English now to me seems like a class in which I can easily breeze through because of all the essential hard work that I have put into this class. This class has not also put me into having A through out this school year but has also given me a hope that if I excelled this class, I can excel in any class.
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