Undergraduate / Allegheny College "Why?" essay. [6]

Please help me. Any comments welcome!!!

Prompt: Why are you interested in Allegheny College? (your response is quite important to the admission committee.)

I am an advocate and artist who likes math and speaks English, Japanese, and Korean. I stare at my sketchbook, calculator, Japanese dictionary, and picture of kids I met during Volunteers' Club on my desk, depicted in the front cover of Allegheny's handbook. I look at the yellow word "unusual" and the sky blue word "combinations". Yes, everything on my desk now is what I like to do. Even though it appears unusual from the outside, I never thought what I like to do and what I am doing are unusual combinations. I just don't like to be put in a box. Attracted the big yellow word "unusual," my fingers grip the side of the paper to figure out whether my interests and talents are "unusual combinations" in Allegheny or not.

Pictures of students. I like the feeling that the smiling faces portrayed in those pictures seem very happy and real. A big picture on the left side, everyone is so different from each other while everyone is in the same building. I imagine my picture there, among those people, advertising community services for kids to other students like people handing out the red papers to others in the left side of picture, and the red letters "CDSH" behind them catch my attention even though I do not know what it is. I realize my smiling, as I would smile if I were there, in my future picture. The next pages kept me throughout attracted. From the feelings that pictures gave me, I got little sense of what is means to be an Allegheny student. The handbook introduced Sara who is political scientist, journalist, economist, senator, social chair, publicity chair, vice president, campus tour guide, and freshman seminar advisor. How can she do all these things? I was amazed at how many incredible opportunities Allegheny provides to their student and how students enjoy their opportunities in diverse ways. I also met Dr. O'brien and Dr. Bulman, professors who enjoy their activities as well as students. I also encountered Lauren who studied semester abroad in Germany. One of my biggest dreams has always been traveling and meeting new people, culture, and the world. In addition, Allegheny's Study Abroad and EL Travel Seminars seem like an exciting, rewarding chance to fulfill my passion. Erika gave me an image of the volunteering at local community.

After further research on Allegheny's website, I could picture myself as a member of "Habitat for Humanity", "International Club", and "Peace Coalition". Every person I met in the handbook, with their unique interests, talents, and passions, helped me understand that Allegheny is very unique place for students who are able to look at things from diverse sides. I am almost to the back cover of handbook. I skim through Allegheny's Programs of Study, to find where my passion fits in. "Values, Ethics & Social Action"-the perfect place for me to blend both my care for people in alienation, social isolation, and confusion and my desire to understand and help people. With minor in Communication Art and International Studies, I am thrilled by the amazing opportunities to make a positive impact on people, community, and the world. Combining all my interests and talents will enable me to add up to one outstanding social worker who speaks three different languages, draws and paints well, solves complex calculus problems for fun, and makes the world better in the future. It is the last page of the handbook, and I touched the side of the paper to finish my reading. I close my eyes and smile. I slip back to the front cover, and stare the word "unusual combination". Now, I know why my interests, talents, and passions are "unusual combination" and why it fit in Allegheny.

I think it fits the other prompt: Briefly describe your unusual combinations of interests and talents and how they will fit at Allegheny.
Shall I use this essay for "Why" or "my unusual combinations"? Please help me. My first language is not English, so I may have lots of grammar mistakes. HELP.

Research Papers / What do you guys think about "the affirmative action"? (some questions for you!) [4]

I just started my research, and I want to know diverse opinions about the affirmative action!
What I am trying to find is that affirmative action is so focused on the black-and-white racial dichotomy. I agree with the concept of affirmative action, and I understand America needs affirmative action. But is it fair to every race?

I would like to know your answers to following questions.

- Do you think affirmative action is a forced fairness?
- Do you think American government is so focused on only African-American?
- Do you honestly think you can see the day a Hispanic American or Asian American will be president?
- Do you think African-Americans have more benefits than any other minority race?
- Do you think affirmative action preferences should be used in determining who gets into college?
- Do you think affirmative action is making American education uncompetitive?
- If you can change a part of affirmative action, what would you like to adjust?

Undergraduate / Smith College Supp. "Is a women's college still relevant in 2009?" [3]

Good afternoon! :) It's my first time to upload my essay here.
I have a couple of brief essays for Smith College. I need to cut down some words for the first essay due to the words limit. :(

For second one, I'm not sure whether my reasons for the following question are reasonable or not.

Please help me. My essay might sound awkward because English is not my first language.
Any comments, corrections, opinions or questions welcome! Thanks!

How did you first learn of Smith College and why are you applying? (Limit response to 100 words.)

The Journals of Sylvia Plath was the first book that introduced me to Smith where she wrote beautiful stories. I have always wanted to be an advocate for women and kids in alienation, social isolation, and confusion, so Smith-with its great support for talented, exuberant, and determined women -is an ideal place for me to major in Women and Gender Studies. Smith gives me opportunities to visualize Plath in the Mortimer rare book room through her drafts, to design my own major, and to work for the Smith College Museum of Art even though my major is not Art.

When Smith College was founded in 1871, there were few educational opportunities for women. Is a women's college still relevant in 2009? (Limit response to 150 words)

There is ongoing debate on equal distribution of influence between genders. Until I see more women in political positions and men and women making equal treatment for equal work, I support anything that gives women a slight edge in the world. Since men are socially superior to women so far, it is easier for a man to get into colleges. Women's colleges offer special options for highly strong, bold, qualified women, whose spots at co-ed schools are being taken by less qualified male student. Even though I know there are some strength and unique merit that men can bring into college society, I think women's colleges are still relevant because someone needs to change the entire social, academic nature of the college, and I certainly believe Smith is the one of those who will brighten not only the nature of the college but also the world through cultivating determined Smithies. (150)