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Posts by kevinchen00723
Joined: Feb 12, 2010
Last Post: Feb 24, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 10  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 13
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kevinchen00723   
Feb 23, 2010
Undergraduate / Rice Transfer Supplement - What perspective can you contribute? [6]

This is a very rough draft. I literally just finshed writing it. Still working on a conclusion but please read what I have now and feel free to comment on anything you feel I could improve. THANKS!

A. The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice?

I waved goodbye to my parents and joined the queue to security check. "Don't look back, just let it go." I kept repeating this to myself. In all honesty, not until now had I truly understood the complexity of human emotions.

I had been waiting for this moment for months. After 15 years of being closed up in a bland box of a world, my mind rebelled against the boredom of a homogenous life. I wanted to immerse myself in a new culture. I thirsted for new, unordinary experiences. Going to school in England seemed like the perfect solution.

I was excited. I knew uncertainties awaited me in the darkness ahead, but I had no fear. This was my chance to break free. But what about everything I was leaving behind: my loved ones, a place called home, and a land where my roots are. I couldn't help but turned around. Through the busy crowd, I managed to take another peek of my parents, both of whom I adored. Mum was leaning on Dad's shoulder, with tears rolling down her cheeks. As soon as our eyes met, she quickly wiped away the tears and squeezed out a smile. Dad held my mum tightly with one hand, and waved goodbye at me again with the other.

The sight of my parents slowly disappeared as I neared the security gate. For the first time in 15 years, I was on a journey to a faraway place, all alone. I walked through the gate, and my life was forever changed from that moment.

The two years I spent in England opened my eyes to a whole new world. For the first time, I was indulged with stunningly blue skies and wide spaces; for the first time, I was required to wear business suits as school uniforms; and for the first time, my immediate family consisted no longer of my parents, but a single mother and three teenage boys. I had much time to travel, which brought me into intimate touch with England's rich and colourful heritage and culture. I walked through the house where Shakespeare was born, had lunch in the coffee club where the legend of the Beatles all began, and attended a service in the Cathedral where Queen Elizabeth II was crowned. I followed Winston Churchill's footsteps in the underground bunker where he and his war cabinet worked throughout the air raids on London during WWII, marveled at the magnificence of Stonehenge (and wondered the mysteries behind it), and was stunned by the relentless beauty of ancient Romans architecture in the town of Bath. I even passionately chanted the "Westham till I Die" song along with thousands other fans when my host family took me to a West Ham match.

Of course, my time in England was much more than merely a time of excitement. I soon became fluent in English, and even picked up a slightly posh accent and a quirky sense of humor. With my proficiency in English, I quickly fell in love with the freedom of being able to share my unique views and values, whether it was during a class discussion of the rising power of China, or a Sixth Form debate competition about the human rights record in third world countries. Being one of the few overseas students at school, my British peers frequently bombarded me with questions about the place I came from. Some asked if my parents arrange my marriage, others wondered whether dog meat tasted delicious. I soon realized the little knowledge they had about my country, and felt the importance to share my culture in my new environment. With the help of several of my tutors, I started a Chinese Culture Club, and held regular meeting every week. I showed them pictures of my hometown, taught them about traditional Chinese holidays, and even dared to touch the controversial subject of Chinese politics. We participated as a team in the Dragon Boat Race organized by the local Chinese community, and celebrated Chinese New Year together in a local pub.

Surprisingly, my British peers weren't the only ones that learned something about my country. So did I. As I opened my British friends' mind up to the beauty of my native culture and human diversity, my perspective of my country has also changed. Being away from my homeland gave me enough distance to look at my country through objective eyes. I would never forget being accused a "brainwashed communist" by one of my fellow classmates during a heated discussion. Of course, my classmate's remarks hurt, but it made me look inside myself. I wondered if I had really been sheltered, or even "brainwashed", in the environment that I grew up in. And as I neared the truth, I soon began to recognize my country's faults, as well as its numerous strengths.
kevinchen00723   
Feb 23, 2010
Undergraduate / Why Rice, excellent pre-med program (Transfer Essay) [12]

i agree with janson. being specific in this type of essays could really make you stand out and let the admission ppl know your interest! i think if you begin with saying how you withdrew your applications and then sort of talk about how u've changed would be a better way to organize it. good luck
kevinchen00723   
Feb 23, 2010
Undergraduate / Rice - Why xxx school of study (interested in science) [10]

Jonathan: thanks for the input!

Simrath: u really seem to know what you are talking about. i was wondering if you would mind reading my other essays?

anyways problem with the prompt is the 1100 characters limit. its impossible to fully address both reasons to study pre-med and to apply. from what i heard the limit used to be 3000 characters. im checking with admission ppl to see what have they got to say about this.

what you said made a lot of sense. english is not my first language so sometimes i struggle with making my description interesting and powerful. i can only try my best. and indeed lots of clicheness in my essay i just realized after you pointed em out. looks like i've got a lot of work to do on this one as i really want to get into rice. thanks a lot for the effort!!!! what schools did u apply to?
kevinchen00723   
Feb 21, 2010
Undergraduate / Rice - Why xxx school of study (interested in science) [10]

thanks a lot for the help guys! i see the problem with my essay now. heres an improved version. i tried my best to give specific examples and create a strong intro. one thing im slightly confused about is what exactly is this topic asking...am i supposed to just talk about why am i interested in my field of study or should i include specific aspects of Rice's program that im drawn to? with such limited space its hard to cover both. plus the "why rice" question on the application sort of gives room for us to address specific reasons for wanting to go to rice so maybe its unnecessary to do it here?

anyways please let me know what you think of this now! oh and im now 74 characters over limit (1100 with space)...so please help me cut this down without losing any of the ideas im trying to convey. much appreciated!!!!
kevinchen00723   
Feb 21, 2010
Undergraduate / Rice - Why xxx school of study (interested in science) [10]

With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study. (1100 characters)

I've always been strongly interested in science. When I was young, I often used to go to either my father's medical office or my mother's engineering firm after school. There I would always find something to satisfy my seemingly uncontainable curiosity, whether observing the making of blueprints or assisting my father with the dissection of pig's hearts for his research. Today, having completed A-Level in Biology and Chemistry, and various science courses in college, I have gained a better understanding of science. What's more, I significantly furthered my interest in such a dynamic subject. I enjoy the ...

after edits:

I watched in sheer awe as the surgeons removed the diseased heart that was covered with yellowish pale tissue from the patient. The view of an empty pericardial sac was surreal. Before I could realize, they had already began sewing the new heart into place. It resumed its strong and regular beat soon after the blood flow was restored. I was utterly overwhelmed. It's been three years since I witnessed that heart transplant surgery, and my interests in medicine had only furthered as time passed. Having completed various science classes in high school and college, I have not only gained an extraordinary wealth of factual knowledge, but also enjoyed the intellectual challenge of having to use facts and judgments to resolve problems, especially in organic chemistry lab where we learned to determine the identity of unknown compounds using a variety of methods. Through my hospital volunteer and EMT training experience, I had the privilege to witness humanity at its best, realized that medicine cannot only save lives, but change lives. Now my goal is simple: Medical School, and Wiess School of Natural Sciences would adequately prepare me to achieve that

any comments would be appreciated! thanks
kevinchen00723   
Feb 21, 2010
Writing Feedback / ESSAY 250 WORDS - IELTS - Politicians and Scientists [9]

overall u seemed to have addressed the topic well but maybe u could be more specific with your opinion. e.g. why do they have good influence? u could give just a few examples. that would make ur essay stronger and your opinion more convincing
kevinchen00723   
Feb 21, 2010
Undergraduate / Why Rice, excellent pre-med program (Transfer Essay) [12]

u seem to have covered all your reasons well and gave it a personal voice. this is a good essay. only thing is that maybe come up with a more interesting intro. right now its pretty much average and not very attention drawing. good luck i hope u get in!
kevinchen00723   
Feb 17, 2010
Undergraduate / I disliked pre-school; Tufts Supplement - Let your life speak [7]

yeh i kinda felt the same after writing it. Guess i could add some stuff about how realizing the importance of learning from experience influenced my choice of extracurricular activities/study abroad and such. Think that could work? Thanks for the help tho
kevinchen00723   
Feb 16, 2010
Undergraduate / I disliked pre-school; Tufts Supplement - Let your life speak [7]

Could someone please edit this for me?

There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today. (200 words)

I disliked pre-school. I remember crying every morning and refusing to get out of bed on a school day. This trick worked exceptionally well. My parents pulled me out after a week's unpleasantness. Both of my parents worked long shifts. My father is a heart surgeon and my mother an engineer. As a result, they'd take me to work when there's no one to take care of me during the day. Some of my earliest recollections include seeing a black film of a living ghost in the hospital ward, and some blue papers with lines and numbers and bizarre shapes on it at my mother's engineering firm. I later discovered what x-ray film and blueprints are, and the fact that living ghosts never existed in reality. As I grew older and started school, I'd still go hang around at my parent's workplace sometimes. Whether it was helping nurses fill out patient chart, observing the making of blueprints, or assisting father dissect a pig heart for his research, there was always something to satisfy my seemingly uncontainable curiosity. My time at my parents workplace opened my eyes to a whole new world outside classroom, and showed me in more ways than one that the most valuable knowledge always comes from experience. As I'm about to embark on a new journey, I impatiently await the experience that lies ahead at Tufts that will expand my knowledge and enrich my life.
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