Undergraduate / My father drew clean straight lines; TRANSFER (Architecture )-Reasons/ Objectives [6]

Prompt - Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve

My first introduction to architecture was through the drawing templates and the rapidograph pens that always sat on my father's table at his office. At age seven, I didn't really know the significances of these tools, but I would watch my father for hours as he meticulously drew clean straight lines. His two year program in civil engineering had allowed him to design from benches and small shelves to canteens...

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My reason for choosing to transfer to IIT is because of its solid architectural program that challenges its students and allows them to recognize their potential. It also brings to awareness the evolving and cutting edge technology that is necessary to confidently enter today's competitive work environment. I remember my first introduction to architecture was through the drawing templates and the rapidograph pens that always sat on my father's table at his office. At age seven, I didn't really know the significances of these tools, but I would watch my father for hours as he meticulously drew clean straight lines.

His two years program in civil engineering had allowed him to design from benches and small shelves to canteens and additional classrooms for the school he worked for. These were the drawings that I would carefully replicate and modify to my liking. I was drawn to the idea of designing and creating something that is used day to day. I continued with my drawings aiming to create edificial structures and eventually I would attempt to design my ideal house with naive realism. This childhood experience would become the key for my interest in architecture.

Although I had taken an art class in high school, I was nervous walking into my first drafting class at Harold Washington College. However after taking a few architectural courses, I am convinced that architecture is the right career path for me. I have learned in this college, the basics of drafting and viewing the world in its structural sense. I also found that beyond the aesthetic creation, architecture relies on the continual existence of civilizations that communicate the reasoning and the philosophy of building structures. This realization has evoked the desire in me to continue on this particular journey of knowledge. I believe IIT is the best place to continue on my journey.

Moreover, I know IIT would be the best place for me to further my knowledge on the fundamentals of architecture and on the theoretical and disciplined method of problem solving incorporated in the program by one of the founders of modern architecture, Mies Van Der Rohe. I also feel that I would benefit from the urbanized location of IIT. Chicago has a diversified community that would allow me to share and be exposed to different ways of thinking, including the many activities and opportunities it offers. In addition, for someone choosing to study Architecture, I believe it is important to be in a surrounding where different set of architectural approaches can be studied and considered. I believe with all of these facets that IIT offers I can realize my career goals. I hope you will provide me the opportunity to become a member of a distinguished community.

I would really appreciate any kind of feedback! Thanks in advance

Undergraduate / admission essay on academic interests AND extracurricular activity [2]

I really need a feedback to both of my essays for the U of I application. I am not a good writer since English is not my first language.

I don't feel that my essays are interesting but i don't know how to improve them please help
Thank you

Essay 1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.

Standing across the street form John Hancock building on Michigan avenue, I lifted my eyes to the height of the building. It stood affirming its distinction from its surrounding. It displayed its naked steel frame structure, yet it arrogantly claimed the true nature of architectural presence. I kept gazing at it, taking in its dark stature and the dominance it exerts. "You have the rest of downtown to gawk at!" my uncle says while pulling at my arm. The John Hancock building was to set the status at which I would measure up a veraciously simple structure.

This was what I felt four years ago seeing downtown, Chicago for the first time. It was my first to see such boldness in a building and such height because buildings like this did not exist where I was a month ago. I grew up knowing that Architecture in Ethiopia meant only fulfilling the basic need of shelter. A few calculations and drawing a few lines of geometry would be enough to accomplish the desired result. But, I understood then, that any inhabitable space must be structurally stable and enduring. Adhering to this principle, I was motivated to do something different, to put in some creativity and thought into a design of a building.

I realized continuing my walk down Michigan Avenue that it was possible to go further than just mathematical calculations. Architecture is art and must be visually engaging to those that interact with it every day and spend their entire life in and around it. Although overwhelmed by the rapid change of architectural ideas and technology, I am eager to understand the nature of a building from the conceptual process to the composition of structural elements. With an excellent academic program at UIUC, I can attain the knowledge and experience that would allow me to meet my goal and become an exceptional architect.

Essay 2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.

When my neighbor, a home maker, asked me to help her with one of her children, I was reluctant because I didn't know what to expect form a mentally challenged teenager a few years younger than I. I was relieved when she said I was just to play with him and keep him busy while she gets some house work done, which meant not being left alone with him in the house in case any incidents would lead to chaos.

As I walked through the door I saw Thomas in the living room, sitting on a sofa watching TV. His mother introduced us and slipped out of the room leaving me standing in the living room awkwardly. Thomas looked at me curiously and asked me my name a couple of times before he decided to give me a new one. I rationed that I would keep quite and let him do the asking, thinking that my attempt to initiate any kind of conversation would trigger his tantrum. My presumptuous expectation turned out to be wrong. For the next few hours Thomas and I watched TV, played games, and laughed together. It was the beginning of an unlikely friendship. I walked in that house not expecting to last one minute, but walked out hours later cheerful and glad to have met this person.

Fun days with Thomas were many after that first meeting just relaxing and enjoying each moment. I was there to look out for him and he in return showed me how to relax, throw away the stress of the day even for a moment, because it will be there when that moment fades.