Writing Feedback / Taking action against moral injustice - English Essay Gr. 12 Level [3]

Essay Topic: Write a compare and contract essay. Essays must be well-organized, contain a clear thesis statement, be supported with proof/quotes from the stories and be typed/double spaced. (Length: 750 - 1000 words - approx. 4-5 well developed pragraphs.) Your essay should exmaine both sides of the arguement, but ultimately end with your own belief,leaning toward one side.

Topic: Sometimes, people need to take action against moral injustice. Agree or disagree.

Most crimes are addressed and dealt by today's court system but there are some moral injustices that go unnoticed. "The Killings" by Andre Dubs and

The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson makes a perfect example of the few crimes as described above by displaying how the crimes exhibited in the story does not receive the proper consequence that they truly deserve. The society in both passages conveys their tolerance for unlawful acts but the similarities end there. In one society the characters are illustrated as completely inhumane beings while the other story characters are just depicted as uncompassionate people. Both main characters happen to react differently with the unfair situation they are presented with; one seeking revenge while the other begging for mercy from the immoral justice. Justice and revenge is up to the individuals themselves to get on their own.

To begin with, the setting we start out with in The Lottery which portrays to be a typical village where honest hard-working people celebrate an old custom tradition. The village is described as "...was clear and sunny, with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green... Pg 147". Later on we discover that under the surface of what seems like an innocent annual gathering are immoral humans who have a lust for blood. This ritual composes of rocks being thrown by the unethical inhabitants to the chosen unlucky one until he or she dies. The setting in 'The Killings' exhibit a small town in Massachusetts. The environment suggests a sad tone starting at the beginning "Matt Fowler buried his youngest son, Frank, who had lived for twenty-one years, eight months, and four days...". The surrounding reveals a flawless community at best. The justice system displayed in the story, however, is not so perfect as one would believe. When Matt's son, Frank, tragically dies by Richard Strout, Mary Ann's obnoxious ex-husband the court did not resort to immediate decisive action. In fact, Matt's wife, Ruth, encounters his son's murder a couple of times due to the fact that Richard is on bail until the trial starts. This demonstrates the corrupt justice system as illustrated in this story.

Next, the main characters portrayed in the respective stories react differently with the scenario they are presented. Mrs. Hutchinson in 'The Lottery' attends the annual tradition in the little village and participates in the lottery. As names drew out of the withering black old box the outcome of the chosen one became closer with the few remaining inside. When The Hutchinson's family was chosen, Mrs. Hutchinson started to panic and tried increasing her likelihood of escaping the consequence by including her married daughter as part of the family "There's Don and Eva... Make them take their chance". When the members of the Hutchinson's shown their slips of paper being empty and Mrs. Hutchinson having the dot full the chosen one was determined. Mrs. Hutchinson in a state of shock tries to imply that this whole thing was a set up but ironically she does not even question the moral of the old tradition. She later gets executed while crying "It isn't fair, it isn't right p155" by the crowd throwing rocks at her. It is clear that in this village there is no justice system for the wrong doings. In 'The Killings' however Mr. Fowler takes a different approach to the flawed justice system by taking matters in his own hands in an act of revenge. While it is clear that Richard Strout killed Matt Fowler, the charges of first degree murder were dropped to manslaughter because Richard former wife and Matt's girlfriend Mary Ann testified that she did not see the fatal gunshot. Mr. Fowler started carrying a gun as he hoped one day he would be confronted by Richard so he has an excuse to shoot him. One day Mr. Fowler comes to Richard at gun point and tells him to pack up and that he is leaving the town by flying. As Mr. Fowler was driving to a spot in a forest he commands Richard to get out. As they walk out deep in the forest Mr. Fowler shoots Richard and put it in the dug hole made by Mr. Fowler and Willis Trottier. The character demonstrates not only right thing for the town but completes his revenge on behalf of he and his wife for the sake of their beloved son.

Mrs. Hutchinson, before being executed, was doing anything in her power from dying but she does not challenge the immoral justice and thus she loses. Mr. Fowler, on the other hand, challenges the justice system and allows himself to decide if the person who killed his son receives the proper punishment he deserved. He kills Richard because the justice system gave him bail until his trial and thus Richard was enjoying his life when his son is dead. This scenario shows that Mr. Fowler was successful in avenging his son's death thus completing his revenge and he took the proper action against the moral injustice. Mrs. Hutchinson certainly dies with regrets but no matter what punishment bestows on Mr. Fowler he will surely have no regrets.

Please proofread and edit my essay and enhance my writing by adding or removing what ever you feel is needed to make it better. I believe I can learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. Thanks in Advance!

Writing Feedback / Youth and Technology combined no doubt will bring a very aspiring future [4]

Youth and Technology

The greatest breakthrough in technology have been started during the mid 20th century and so forth and we the generation Y and even younger of the late 20th century have fell victim to the rise of gadgets. Technology like cell phones, mp3 players, computers, TV, video games and so forth are some of the gadgets that most of the kids in North America own or experienced. It has been noted that technologies have been more integrated in our lives effectively than those that are older than 27 for example Generation X. Technology although distracting for the youth does however bring a lot of positives to the table! A cell phone for example can be used to help the parents check on up theirs kids status outside at night and for the kid it is a great social connectivity tool ranging from talking to his/her friend to even asking questions regarding the latest homework assignment. Youth and technology combined no doubt will bring a very aspiring future for our generation. (JEREMY Remier and WARREN BUCKLEITNER)

Did I correctly implement my source into this paragraph (the authors name) and also the two authors wrote two separate articles and they are two seperate source is it still ok citing like that! Please aslo read my paragraph and tell me desired areas for further improvements and or enhancements!

Writing Feedback / "Online plagiarism" - read my paraphrased paragraph! [2]

Please give me the places of this paragraph where improvements may be needed or revised.

A study report regarding online plagiarism had implied the fact that the act being committed may be big is actually not a devastating number. Online plagiarism is also comparable to Conventional plagiarism and that the numbers are quite near (24.5% and 27.6% respectively). It was also found that Online Plagiarism is done by ignorant students that were not taught or either does not understand the fact that online information is not public domain! This survey was able to conclude that Online plagiarism is not that much of a widespread problem of literature theft as feared to be but others disagreed with the said statement. (KELLOGG, Alex P.)

The link I paraphased for the said assignment is the following:

chronicle.com/free/2002/02/2002020101t.htm

Thank you!

Writing Feedback / Dangerous Minds Assignment Paragraph Writing; vivid deep movie as a grade 11 poetry unit startup. [3]

Describe six images that reflect the background of the characters in this film as depicted in the opening credits.

What better way is to start a grade 11 poetry unit you may ask? Mr. Raible, our beloved English teacher, kick-starts it by introducing to what may seem a vivid deep movie called Dangerous Minds. Enthralled by the black and white intro was full of artistic sequences, and meaningful images that described the sad and hopeless society of the projects easily.

The first image we are introduced too is the camera zoom out of graffiti in a may seem unsanitary room stating in bold letters "love u baby". Essentially, what this image is striving to convey is there was no respect for property. This general image can also bring into consideration the fact that it is a lousy neighbourhood and there are people who have a certain tag to their graffiti style and even the neighbourhood isn't that much prioritized by the law enforcement.

The next image we come across is the tipped over stop sign on a near by road. Although this picture is without words, it clearly crosses out the message once again that there is no respect for priority and the society is a poor one for the unprioritization of not replacing the stop sign. In a rare case possibly someone accidentally crashed into the stop sign, but that doesn't really add to the artistic value of the introduction so we will let that slide. Then, the next depressing image we see is the window of a house being spray painted black once again proving that properties aren't respected and the hooligans are obviously roaming the streets untouched by law enforcement.

Also, we see a shrine with pictures and flowers indicating someone's death, however it was not near a street so rules out possible vehicle accident and therefore concludes a gang oriented death. After we see the homeless guy pass in front of the project school girls thus does it not only proves this society being poor but it also brings foreshadowing. The foreshadowing it displays is that the girl's future is not that different of the currently lifestyle of the homeless guy. Last significant image we see is the drug dealing on the street once again proving that the law enforcement in the following society is rather weak and crime rate is undoubtedly high.

Finally, the artistic sequence that was done perfectly well was the smooth roll over of the black and white introduction to color when the bus was carrying the project students of the poor and corrupt society to the rich neighbourhood school signifying a more positive change in society. Though this intro of the movie Beautiful Minds may have been 3 minutes or so and without narration nor words it did however convey with utmost clarity the surrounding of the characters as vivid as possible.

Though this is supposed to be a paragraph of 150 words I believe I have exceeded that being a good or bad thing. Please take a look at my paragraph by proofreading and pinpoint my mistakes if possible by all means show enhance my piece of writing.

Thank you.