Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY: INFLUENCE OF LARGE FACTORY [3]

hello guys, here is my essay about large factories.
can you give me some advice and estimated score in ielts

large factory near your community...
advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community.

Nowadays, whether to establish large factories nearby housing areas has become a controversial issue in our society. Out of the case of economic development, industrial buildings are a necessary part of modern society. However a vast number of people are against building a factory near their community because of pollution. From my point of view, the advantages of building a factory will outweigh its disadvantages, if we tackle the environmental problems brought by factories.

First of all, a large factory can stimulate local economic growth and reduce the unemployment rate. To manufacture goods, there must be the demand of laborers, from which the local residents can benefit. What is more, the factory is not isolated, other industries and business will be quickly established, resulting in economic growth of local area. For example, the estate industry will be boosted in order to satisfy the workers' accommodation need.

The main disadvantage is contamination. It is truth that some area are suffering the dire consequences caused by overdeveloping the industry, such as water pollution, overcrowded traffic and medical problems. For instance, in some industrial cities , a large proportion of the workers are suffering various breathing problems, such as asthma which can be caused by waste ashes and certain chemical substances.

However, it is inevitable that there will be more factories built with the development of our society. Therefore, how to improve the disadvantages of building a factory would be more important than whether to build it. In fact most problems can be avoidable if the factories put in real and great effort to manage their waste well.

In conclusion, installation of manufacturing plant is a trend of industrialization for many countries. Its advantages will outweigh disadvantages as long as the factories dispose their waste and pollution in the correct way.

Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY : PREPARED FOOD [3]

HI guys, here is my ielts essay, can u give me some advice and estimated score in ielts.
thanks a lot!!!

Topic : Food is now easier to prepare. Is this a good thing?

Nowadays, more and more people begin to select prepared food as their daily meals, since it can effectively save time which is considered as money in our modern society. However it is obvious that cooked food can bring about some negative influence result from utilizing the artificial ingredients, ignoring the nutrition of food and modifying people's eating habits. In this essay, I would like to explain why this is not a good thing based on the three reasons above.

First of all, to make their food easier to prepare and taste delicious, almost every producer adds a wide range of artificial ingredients in to the food that is now purchased by most people. Some ingredients being added have caused dire consequences. For instance, there are usually some articles in newspapers and magazines which report the relationship between certain chemical components in some food and diseases. Thus, easy-to-cook foods sometimes could be dangerous for human's health.

Not cooking fresh food will also lead to the lack of nutrition. It is truth that cooking prepared foods needs much less time in comparison with the fresh food., whereas some research has apparently demonstrated that prepared foods are unable to support enough nutrients we need, especially for children who are growing up .

In addition, cooking is one of arts humans create. The more cooked food we chosen, the more cooking skills we lose. At the increasing living pace, the majority of people tend to choose microwave as their unique cooker that help them prepare a dish in five minutes. But rare people have been aware that this has contributed to a modification of cooking habits, which may cause the loss of our custom and culture about cooking.

In conclusion, although the invention of prepared foods definitely satisfies the demand of some people who are busy in their work, it is not a good thing. Cooking is not a waste of time, contrarily, it is crucial for our health and culture.

Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY : FINANCIAL AID TO DEVELOPING COUNTRIES [4]

hello every guys, I 'm an ielts learner,can u give me some advice and estimate how much i can get if i write this essay in real ielts. thanks a lot for your help!!

Topic: the best and only way to assist developing countries is to provide them with financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

As is commonly understood, there is an increasingly gap between developed countries and developing countries. It can be seen that some developed countries and organization are proving financial assistance to the impoverished countries. However, it is disagreed that this can be the best and only way to assist developing countries. This will be proven by analyzing the necessity of developing their education and the real objective of supporters.

Firstly, education is an essential part in development. For instance, most developing countries are lack of educational resources, such as experienced teachers, evaluation systems and teaching facilities, which is usually neglected by local authorities. From this example, it is obvious that if the developed countries are unwilling to share their successful experience in education, the developing countries will remain undeveloped, even though they gain a great deal of economic support. Thus, the critical method to improve the condition of poor countries is to help them build up a complete educational system instead of financial aid.

In addition, it is well acknowledged that there is no free lunch in the world. This means some powerful countries provide financial support in order to acquire the right to exploit the local resources and target the local labour market. Indeed, they rarely provide local residents with any technological aid and even cause contamination in some areas. Therefore, developing countries should not totally depend on the financial support from powerful countries.

In conclusion, financial aid is not the only way to assist poor countries. And it has been proven that developing education and improving national technology and science level are the path they have to undergo if they really want to alter current situation.