Scholarship / College scholarship essay - Who are you? [4]

This is for my college scholarship statement. The prompt is: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? Please let me know what I should add, take out, fix. I greatly appreciate it.

I was born into a family of strict, traditional, Catholic intellectuals in Saigon, Vietnam. My parents were both engineers and leaders in their companies and my aunts and uncles were teachers in the top schools in the city. I was raised on books and the Asian doctrine that education is the only way to success. Being an only child, I was spoiled and pampered, protected in a glass bubble. I did everything that was asked of me, getting straight A's and ranking first in all my classes. In return, my parents took care of me, teaching me and buying me the very best clothes and toys. I lived a very happy life.

Shortly before my eighth birthday however, life as I knew it drastically changed. On March 17, 2001, my parents decided to move the family to America, halfway across the globe. At first, I was excited and looking forward to a new life. However, by the end of my first week, whatever anticipation I had had quickly turned to resentment.

I started school as soon as I arrived at the end of second grade. I didn't know any English, I had no friends, and I was constantly picked on for the way I dressed and talked. I could not complete any of my schoolwork because I didn't understand anything. Every day my teacher would return papers with the word "COPIED" stamped across the top. I was so ashamed of myself. Worse, I was lonely and overwhelmed, and I felt so utterly lost.

Meanwhile at home my parents were pushing me to learn English, bringing home worksheets and books from their ESL classes to teach me. My shame became my source of motivation, forcing me to work and relearn the basics until I mastered the language. As I began to grasp the mechanics of English, I made friends and my school life greatly improved. With my parents' encouragement and my own perseverance, within a year, by the end of third grade, I was getting straight A's and even surpassing many of my classmates. In 5th grade, I entered the Gifted and Talented Education program which I stayed with for two years. From that day on, the language barrier became nonexistent.

Looking back now, I fully appreciate everything that my parents did for me those first few months. While I was struggling to learn a language and to fit in, my parents were working even harder to learn a new lifestyle and to assimilate to a country whose values and culture are so drastically different from their own. For them, their entire lives were in Vietnam. They had grown up in that land, established successful careers, and made a name for themselves. In moving to America, they gave all that up in the hopes that I, their only child at the time, would have a chance at a better life. Both my parents were attending school and my dad was working late shifts to provide for the family. They sacrificed so much for me and even now, with my brother added to the family, they continue to put aside their own interests and wants, to provide for the two of us. They allow me to live the life of comfort that I do today.

From my parents, I have learned the meaning of hard work, integrity, and compassion. I truly believe that my drive, determination, and dedication in everything I do come from them, because I see it in them every single day. I respect my parents tremendously and I work hard to become successful to repay them for all they've done. Of course, our relationship is not perfect. I am always frustrated and angry with their unreasonably high expectations, their endless comparisons, and overbearing protectiveness. However, I have learned to fuel that anger into motivation to try harder and prove to them that I am good enough.

Today, I work for my dreams, to become a world-class neurosurgeon and cancer researcher, to provide for myself as an independent woman, and to travel the world and get lost in the chaos of busy cities. I work to give back to my family, to my friends, to my community, and to America, all of which have made me the person I am. I want to leave my mark on this world, to make a name for myself, and to become a somebody. Jack Nicholson in The Departed once said, "I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me." I am out to change the world and I hope to find a place where I will not only belong, but also be able to make a difference.

Undergraduate / Indirect Sexism - Common App Essay [6]

This is for my common app essay. I am thinking either the prompt "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you." or "Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you. " This is my first post so I would greatly appreciate any comments: what should i leave out, what do i need to add, the overall impression, is it too long? Thank you so much :D

I consider myself a feminist. When I first tell people this the first question I usually get in response is, "What are you fighting for?" I can understand why many might wonder this. Our society today has changed significantly from the years of women's suffrage of the early 1900's. Women are now equal to men in education, the workplace, the domestic sphere, and in fact, increasing numbers of women are surpassing men in the professional fields. Sexism is dead, people say, and feminism is useless.

Recently, as part of a summer program, I visited Morgan Stanley, one of the world's most prestigious investment banks. To ensure professionalism in the workplace, the bank has a very strict dress code of business formal attire for all employees and visitors. Following the rules, I decided on a complete suit with pants, dress shirt, and blazer. Other girls opted for the skirt and blouse ensemble, complete with a casual blazer. The boys were of course in full business suits, a factor that they apparently thought made them better than the girls.

During the visit, as we were dividing into groups and preparing to start a business meeting simulation, one of the guys remarked, "Having girls in our group makes it look little lacking. Look at that group of all guys. The suits, the ties, the dress shoes - they all look so professional and intense. All the girls in their skirts and heels just don't seem to measure up." Other guys who overheard him nodded their agreement. Immediately, my feminist instincts were on guard.

This was indirect sexism, when people make judgments of women based on gender roles and double standards. They may not explicitly say the sexist comments, but in their actions and casual remarks, the prejudice comes through. Our country is built on the idea of equality between races and genders. Yet there are still people out there, young teenage boys who have grown up in a modern world of equality, who believe that men are better than women just because looks. Those boys saw themselves as more capable, more intelligent, and more prepared just because they wore suits. When I wore a suit, suddenly it became a big deal. Suddenly I was trying to be a "man", trying to be better than the rest of them, trying to be part of something that I didn't belong. In addition, I was called scary, intimidating, bossy, and even demanding, traits that would be valued in guys, yet became demeaning when applied to girls.

Those boys also assumed that girls would slow down the group, would get in the way of making important decisions, and would ultimately lead the group to lose money, just because the girls were not in suits. This was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard. No girl should be judged on her capability just because of the way she dressed. All the girls that day were on the exact same level as those guys because we knew just as much as they did and we came into that business simulation just as prepared with our research as they were. The way we dressed, whether it was a suit for me or skirts for other girls, had nothing to do with our ability to execute and do our work.

I'm sure, looking back now, those boys weren't even aware of what they said. To them, it was a passing comment, a mere observation based on what they've been taught and seen. Yet one little comment is all it takes to plant a thought in a person's mind, spreading the intolerance farther. One little comment was all it took to remind me that sexism is still very much alive and that I had something left to fight for.

(625 words) is this too long?