Undergraduate / "Performing art in Centre Pompidou"-- Common activity essay [6]

The content is good but I think you could perhaps cut the sentence length? When I read it the number of commas seemed overwhelming so try to have a mix of both long and short sentences to make it more effective.

Undergraduate / "the recollection of our time together" - stanford supplement roomate essay [10]

Thanks for the feedback!
Yes I recognise the errors in my essay and the whole missing commas problem :).

I reaized later that the essay failed to reflect me as a person and sounds rather formal ..so i completely wrote a new one.I'd be THANKFUL for feeback.Is this one better and sound more personal? Is it lik DEC said,elaborating on one personality of mine?

Affectionately known as the "atom bomb" ,I live upto my reputation. My petite size contrasts with my big dreams.I am a dichotomy who strives for the perfect balance : I am a dreamer yet an activist and fun loving yet focused .(COULD YOU suggest a third contrast??) A "philosophical rainbow", you will perceive me as a happy go-lucky who is always beaming awe as she constantly yearns more to decipher the intricacies of life around her.

I believe that there is no end to the adventure we can have and this philosophy of mine never leaves me bored. I love learning from everything around me and believe that everything is a teacher, from the seemingly worthless garden snail to the local mechanic .I am fond of discussing an array of topics and sharing idea and experiences and as a result I have discussed confounding philosophies with the most unlikely of people.As a roommate ,I assure you that you will never be forlorn around me as I will always manage to tickle your funny bone .During our college years that are bound to be rife with uncertainties for the both of us,I hope to be your confidant and light rays of sunshine in your life so that when the ride is over and it is time for us to graduate,one thing remains certain :that our friendship doesn't.

Undergraduate / Engineers can turn ideas into reality. [19]

Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.), - cite some research facilities available at the college of engineering only,that will help the essay be more concrete.

I also had a query :if we're choosing an alternate college do we have to apply for one program or can we choose two different programs for each one?

Essays / Question on "additional infomation" on essay application [12]

Can't I send them a recommendation letter besides the letters of my counselor and teachers? I have a recommendation letter from the director of the company I interned for.Is it possible for me to put that up in the additional information section?

Undergraduate / Life isn't always about being on top but it's about how you make it to be on top [11]

I like your essay but i agree that you should use simpler words here and there. It would also be more personal if you put a concrete detail of the struggle of teenage life because sometimes it seems you are talking in an abstract sense.Put a detail in your life personal to you to make it more original.

Undergraduate / "Memoirs of a Teenage Hostess" - Common App Personal Essay [11]

Try to run an essay into a cycle by perhaps linking it back to sayuri or saying something you just did so that you can connect it back to the beginning.

Essays / Question on "additional infomation" on essay application [12]

Title/additional information/letter - queries about the common app essays

Hi everyone,I just have a few questions to ask regarding the essays and activities section

do we have a title for our personal essay that we chose?
what sort of stuff do we put in the additional information section?
what do we fill in the when did u participate in this activity in the activity section ?

also,i have recommendation letter at the place I did my internship ,how and where can I send that to universities?

thanks