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Posts by gatrgurl7
Joined: Sep 21, 2010
Last Post: Oct 25, 2010
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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gatrgurl7   
Oct 25, 2010
Undergraduate / "A blessing in disguise" UF Admissions Essay [3]

Describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your family, your school or community activities or your involvement in areas outside of school.

Should I leave it like this? or turn it into more of a story? Criticism Please!

Two summers ago, I packed my bags and headed to Ocklawaha, Florida, giving a month of my life to serve hundreds of middle schoolers at Young Life's Southwind summer camp. Knowing only three other people, I was both nervous and excited to meet and live with almost 50 new people from all over the United States. Together with 20 other high schoolers, we formed the work crew. I was assigned the job of server and laundry girl helping to maintain the dining hall, serve campers and fold laundry.

Throughout the course of the month I learned a great deal about working with others to achieve a common goal, giving campers the best week of their lives. One of the biggest trials we faced was a breakout of the H1N1 virus, which affected not only numerous campers, but also many of the work crew. Little by little, our work force began to dwindle and soon we had gone from 20 workers to only 12. The stress levels were overwhelming as we struggled to pick up the slack, and it appeared that we had lost the true spirit of excellence we had strived so hard to master.

I distinctly remember this one night, not long after we had been hit by the virus. Our work crew bosses gathered the remaining healthy workers in the dining hall for a meeting. Although we were small in number, the love in the room was quite evident as we took time to really enjoy one another's company amiss our hectic situation.

I awoke early the next morning exhausted, none the less ready to get the day going. The energy in the dining hall was like none before as we set up for breakfast. We were singing and laughing as we worked; it was as if we'd undergone a full attitude transformation.

The H1N1 breakout ended up being a blessing in disguise. We learned so much about ourselves and were able to grow closer to one another. We put aside any differences we may have had before and worked with each other to get our jobs done. I learned what it was like to work, and I mean really work. I found strength inside of myself that I never knew I possessed.

I believe the month I spent at Southwind will help me to succeed at the University of Florida as both a student, and a member of the Gainesville community. I have experienced what it's like to live in a close knit community of people with varying personalities and opinions. I've realized that being vulnerable and real with new people, although terrifying at times, is incredibly rewarding.

Upon acceptance into UF, I plan to become a Young Life leader in Gainesville where I will be able to give my time and energy to reach out and care for middle and high school students. Giving back to the Young Life community that has helped me grow as a person is more than I could ask for.
gatrgurl7   
Oct 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Running Cross-Country - Extracurriculars Essay [150 words or less] [5]

Woo Go XC!
That being said, you should most definitely cut your essay down to 150 words or less. I don't know about all schools, but I know most will stop reading after you surpass the word limit and everything after 150 words would be worthless.
gatrgurl7   
Oct 11, 2010
Undergraduate / Influenced by strong family traditions-UCF Undergraduate Essay [6]

I wrote a whole new essay for the UCF prompt I chose above. Does it apply to the prompt well? Suggestions Please!

There was never a dull moment in my house growing up, seeing as how I was the youngest of 6 kids. Neither of my parents ever made substantial amounts of money, but nonetheless we got by just fine. Actually, I believe we were all better off because we had to use our imaginations for entertainment, instead of video games and the internet like kids today.

I chose to spend the majority of my time outside barefoot, tagging along behind my brothers and their friends. At times, our age differences seemed like my handicap, making me slower and weaker. Then, my first love came along...the bicycle. With my training wheels off and the wind at my back, I was no longer the tag-a-long. Instead, I was an equal, one of the boys. My brothers and I would spend hours riding bikes, chasing and racing each other through the woods or teaching each other new tricks.

As I've grown older, my love for the bicycle has only grown fonder. Journeying around town on Sunday afternoons with my father or just cruising through the neighborhood with my mom are little sentimental moments I've learned to cherish.

My ultimate goal in life is to one day open my own bicycle shop where I can share my love for bicycles with others. While starting my own small business is going to be quite a challenge, I trust that my passion for bicycles will lead me to success, working with what I love.
gatrgurl7   
Oct 10, 2010
Undergraduate / The City, The Lessons, The Campus: Why I chose to Apply to UCF [6]

Revision of my last paragraph. Thoughts and Criticisms welcome!

Upon acceptance into the University of Central Florida, I plan on working towards a degree in Liberal Arts which would one day allow me to open my own bicycle shop. While it may be somewhat of a risky dream, I believe that my infatuation with bicycles and my overall desire to succeed will help to make my dream a reality. I've put my faith in UCF, believing the knowledge I gain while in attendance will prepare me for the business world and anything else life brings my way.
gatrgurl7   
Oct 7, 2010
Undergraduate / Influenced by strong family traditions-UCF Undergraduate Essay [6]

Prompt: How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

For years and years, my family has gathered at my grandma's house right before Christmas to help her trim her tree. Her house is a rather large Victorian home, so naturally she has a rather large Christmas tree. Every year the same old ornaments come out, but they're not your average Christmas ornaments. Instead, my grandmother has accumulated boxes of some of the ugliest and aged ornaments. I love rediscovering the old ragged stuffed animals that have been kept since the days when my aunts and uncles were kids; each one seems to hold its own unique story or memory of years passed.

Near the end of the night, all 21 of us grandkids gather on my grandma's steps to sing Christmas carols. No matter how old ...
gatrgurl7   
Oct 7, 2010
Undergraduate / "robbed of my innocence and childhood" - UCF application essay: "Bump in the road" [5]

I really liked this essay, I think it's safe to say that it's definitely a unique and attention grabbing story. You're a very strong individual for overcoming this obstacle and I think anyone would be stupid not to commend you on that.

Good Luck with you application, I hope you get in!! :)
gatrgurl7   
Oct 5, 2010
Undergraduate / The City, The Lessons, The Campus: Why I chose to Apply to UCF [6]

Prompt:Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

I can still remember back to the first time I stepped foot on the UCF campus, I was 9 years old and my family and I were moving my older sister in to her new dorm room. I remember passing by the Reflection Pond, hoping one day I too could jump in during UCF's homecoming week. When my sister joined a sorority, ZTA, I remember how much I longed to be just like her, donning my kids sized ZTA tank top around school with pride. I already had my mind made up; UCF was where I was destined to be.

Today, I am still enthralled by the city surrounding the campus; it is so different from my hometown of Gainesville, Florida...so much bigger. I have always known that I have wanted to leave Gainesville for college and explore other communities, experiencing life on my own, without the comfort of my parents nearby.

The lessons I learn at college are ones I will take with me throughout my life. That is why I chose to apply to UCF, not only because it has been a dream of mine since childhood, but also because I believe UCF will help me to learn and grow as a human being.
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