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Posts by ItalianOpera
Joined: Sep 24, 2010
Last Post: Dec 29, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: United States

Displayed posts: 7
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ItalianOpera   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "why I shouldn't contribute to such atrociousness" - personal statement [5]

I think your essay begins well. However, you may want to change the ending a little bit. Now all readers are going to be vegetarian and calling their habits "atrocious" would not be the best thing to do. Try to use a friendlier word while still conveying your strong feelings.
ItalianOpera   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / Engineering and Dad's Influence - Princeton Essays [6]

I think it starts out really well. Maybe you should focus on more Princeton-specific programs. There are plenty of strong engineering programs but tell them what makes them special.
ItalianOpera   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "Pokémon; I'll never be too old to do anything" - Princeton Supplement Option 4 [3]

Thanks for your help. This is due on like 3 days. Please provide me with some feedback. The prompt is:
Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation at the beginning of your essay.

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."
- J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan)
"What are you doing? That was a horrible move!" exclaimed my restless ten year old cousin Tony.
Suddenly, I felt many faces turn in our direction.
"Don't attract attention to us," I replied as I remained concentrated, trying my best to ignore the ambient noises from the busy Shanghai market district.

One wrong step and we would lose the whole battle. This was the last battle and expectedly, the most difficult of the game.
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing," I said with reassurance. I'm veteran when it comes to Pokémon. As a boy, I spent a significant portion of my time perfecting my knowledge of Pokémon and like most boys, I picked up Pokémon at a very early age before any other video game. Although it's a mere game, I mean it when I say that Pokémon gave me my first taste of success as I bested the final gym leader and my first experience with compromise as I could only carry six creatures at once. It also gave me my first brushes with failure as I lost my share of battles on the way. Pokémon also had a competitive element where I could battle my friends. For a seven year old boy, Pokémon offered it all and from the most trivial to the most rewarding aspects of life, I experienced it all first with Pokémon.

"Don't you think you're a little too old for that?" asked my aunt as Tony and I were caught in the middle of the intense battle.

At that moment, I paused for a second and then continued to play; however, that question loomed over me for some time. It sparked a profound idea. I realized that I eventually did move on with age from the Pokémon franchise. There was a single day where I stashed my Gameboy away and retired as a serious Pokémon player. I moved away from that period in my life and all it took was one day. It was a black and white shift. I then began to think of life as a series of steps. After all, my seventeen years thus far confirm this outlook. From Pokémon all the way to music, I occupy my life with these interests. While I always look forward to what's next, I never forget the path that got me to where I am today.

I do not hesitate to return an earlier stone as I cherish all of my memories. While I'm seventeen instead of seven now, I didn't let my age become a hindrance to my enjoyment of the game. I still had just as much fun playing my very first game as I did years ago. And while I'm quite a few steps away from Pokémon now, I'll always enjoy returning to an earlier stone. No matter what age I am, nothing will ever change the impact Pokémon and my subsequent interests had on me. To answer my aunt's question, I'll never be too old to do anything.

"Dude, it's your turn! What are you waiting for?" asked an eager Tony.
ItalianOpera   
Sep 24, 2010
Undergraduate / My resiliency: personality you are most proud of, and how has it impacted you [2]

Motivated, curious, thrill-seeking, jocular, competitive.
I am many things. Each trait that I possess contributes some to me, but the characteristic that shines through them all is my resiliency. However many failures, setbacks, or conflicts I find myself among, I always manage to find my way to the original path meant for me. It is impossible to describe with words in this limited space how much negative sentiment I have flowing through my body each time I get rejected from an audition, earn a grade that does not reflect the hours of effort I exert, or land in the middle of an argument with a close friend. The thought of giving up wrings me with its powerful grasp so strongly that there have been several instances where I was on the verge of throwing the gauntlet. As the old saying goes, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." To me, it is impossible to find a statement with greater truth behind it. I realize that each challenge I walk into, I emerge stronger and wiser, especially when the outcome does not work in my favor. My resiliency has saved me from a surely bleak outcome. When I reflect on my past with deep sincerity, I can't even begin to imagine all the moments of glory of music making I would have forgone if I had just said, with naive haste, "I quit". My iron will continues to burn brighter than ever, in anticipation for the inevitable challenges that lay ahead.

The word limit is 250 words. Please critique my essay and give me some tips. I'll gladly take a look at your essay.

Thanks
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