Undergraduate / "I am human" - Common App supplement [5]

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

It used to bother me that no one could tell that I was Chinese. "Are you Japanese? Korean?" they would ask, but they never seemed to get around to what I imagined was the most obvious choice. It's ethnic pride, I told myself as I berated my friends for not knowing my cultural background.

It later occurred to me that my fierce Chinese pride was rather overbearing. I resolved to widen my mental boundaries. "Asian pride!" was my new motto. The way I saw it, most people couldn't even tell the difference between the Asian races anyway. So at school, I associated myself with peers of Korean and Japanese and, of course, Chinese descent. As I perused the news, I found myself drawn to anything that sounded particularly oriental.

One day as I was explaining to a friend the wonders of being Asian, he asked me, "Ok. So what part of being born in Asia makes you so amazing?" I opened my mouth to answer - and then closed it because I had no answer. And I began to think. What exactly defines race and nationality anyway? Some imaginary lines drawn on a map? Hardly something to brag about. After all, people are essentially the same no matter where they live, aren't they? And so I began to expand my boundaries once more, until, finally, I came to a conclusion that I could be proud of.

So, yes, I am Chinese, and yes, I am Asian. But I am also human. And look - there's a planet full of people just like me.

I'm actually pretty proud of this. Blasted it out in 15 minutes, and it's not even that bad. Please crit and advise :D

Undergraduate / "my first solo trip to China; I didn't care" - Common App [3]

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Last summer I took my first solo trip to China. Most summers I would return with my parents to visit the relatives they had left behind over twenty years ago, but this year I had signed up to teach English to prospective foreign exchange students at the local university. To be honest, I wasn't all that thrilled; the way I saw it, the four weeks I'd spend at the university were infringing on precious time away from my parents' overbearing attentions, but I didn't really have anything else to do. And so I showed up on the first day, unenthusiastic and anxious for the last day to roll around. And on the last day, I showed up with my entire life turned upside down.

I don't really like this all that much either...I've come to realize that i don't do well with long essays haha...I like to get my point across in short, emphatic statements, so getting this many words was a challenge. That said, i'm actually about 60 words over the recommended 500, so maybe it's not that much of a problem after all >< in any case, i don't like this essay lol.

advice is appreciated, thanks

Undergraduate / "I am an anticarcinogen" - MIT undergrad [14]

What attribute of your personality are you most proud of, and how has it impacted your life so far? This could be your creativity, effective leadership, sense of humor, integrity, or anything else you'd like to tell us about. (*) (200-250 words)

I am an anticarcinogen. What? you say, You prevent cancer? How can that be? Simple arithmetic - laughter is said to reduce the severity of cancers; I make people laugh. Two plus two; I prevent cancer.

Clever metaphors aside, it's safe to say that I am almost literally defined by the words "sarcastic humor." Our English class did a sarcasm unit last year and when the teacher asked if anyone could define sarcasm, everyone pointed at me. I spout cynical observations like a fountain; my brain is a virtual goldmine of the stuff. Imagine political cartoons, but personified.

I suppose this is partly a side effect of my inability to handle emotion-intensive situations; at least, not in the traditional sense. As soon as a point is reached where sincere human compassion is required to continue a conversation, I throw in sarcasm to divert the topic. That's not to say I'm incapable of expressing sympathy; I just refuse to belittle the emotions disclosed to me in such confidence by offering awkward half-condolences. And in all honesty, would anyone really believe them? Instead, sarcastic humor is my own way of conveying concern, of communicating the compassion I cannot effectively describe in words. I try to make people laugh, because it is the best thing I can do for them. I express my own belief that people shouldn't be so tense, so concerned with details all the time. Enjoy life. Laugh. And that, I suppose, is more heartfelt than anything else I could ever articulate. So I guess even though there's no cure to cancer, I'm probably the next best thing there is.

I won't lie, I kind of hate this essay. I'm really bad at writing essays about myself so this was a real challenge. The first paragraph and a half I thought was especially bad. But i was trying to SHOW my personality instead of writing about it, which is why this is written pretty informally, since that's just the kind of person I am.

also, I know there should be quotes in the first paragraph, but I decided to go without them for stylistic reasons. It just seems to flow better without. And it matches the general tone of the piece that I'm going for. :/

Advice is appreciated, thanks :D

Undergraduate / "Challenge of my first day as a software programmer with no programming background" [5]

so i wrote this one pretty fast as well.

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)

I showed up to work on my first day as a software programmer with no programming background. I had been hired at a Michigan-based insurance agency for my general familiarity with computers, but of programming, I knew nothing. My supervisor, an awkward young man who handled all the tech work for the entire agency, was to teach me to write script and perform any necessary programming tasks. But, due to his crushing workload, I was simply given an assignment and told to inform him when it was finished. There was no instruction.

I soon realized that my supervisor would be of no help; I would have to rely on myself. For the next week, I observed finished projects, trying to understand how they worked. I made small changes, to see what each function controlled. What I did not understand, I Googled and found explanations for in programming forums. Slowly I began to learn. I completed my first assignments and received others. The previously unintelligible code began to take on the semblance of a language, something familiar and natural.

Now, months later, I have carried out virtually every programming task in the office, everything from writing help files for insurance score software to bridging scores between insurance companies and customers. My supervisor still offers no aid, but I look back and realize that maybe I didn't need his help to begin with; that I have never needed anything other than my own willingness to learn, and perhaps a good search engine.

any opinions, suggestions, anything would be appreciated :D
i kind of hate the conclusion, but i've always been terrible at those. anyone think they can help me with that? thanks in advance

Undergraduate / "the suburbs of Detroit" - MIT undergrad - Describe the world you come from [4]

Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

I live in a small, virtually unknown city in the suburbs of Detroit. Due to the proximity to the Automotive Capital of the World, nearly every family has someone working in the auto industry. The streets are quiet and the residents so law-abiding that the police department is essentially unemployed. Welcome to the City of Troy, Population: 81,000.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it's a bad place to live; we still laugh and enjoy life. It's just that Troy is so upsettingly generic. Every family owns at least two cars. Everyone lives in a house that looks just like the one next to it. If you drive down the street, the sidewalks are always empty - no one walks. Everyone is content with their lives, content with their successes and never seeking more.

"Study engineering, just like your father!" my mom says. But what if I don't want to just follow a mold given to me? Maybe it's because I hate how unassuming life in this city is, but I want to get out into the world and make my name known. I chafe at the self-imposed restrictions we place on ourselves. I yearn to prove myself to be more than just another Troy kid, content to live my life in anonymity. I choose to pursue engineering because I want to, because I believe I can do some good in the world with the knowledge, not because someone else wishes it. My mistakes will be my own - but so will my success.

This is really as close as i can get to the truth and still be interesting. It seems a little depressing to me, but i'd appreciate any feedback at all. Thanks