This is an essay for Common App with no particular prompt. I hope this is close to the final version. Any and all comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
I overheard a phone conversation my father was having when he referred to me as a modern day Imelda Marcos. After waiting patiently for the call to end so I could ask him why, my curiosity got the better of me. I decided to do my own research online. Besides, he would have told me to "look it up" anyway. After misspelling her name multiple times and reading page after page, I had no idea why I was being compared to the wife of the former dictator of the Philippines. As my will began to break, I noticed a small caption under a photo of her that explained everything. Apparently, this woman owned about 3,000 pairs of shoes. All of a sudden, I understood the reference.
"Hello, my name is Andrew Mazzola, and I am addicted to sneakers." I have evolved considerably since the days when my shoes lit up as I stepped, and my passion for them has emerged since. When most people buy a pair of sneakers, they might consider looks, functionality or price. When I am on the hunt for a pair of sneakers, my criteria are very different.
Each pair is a piece of art. Just as one admires the beauty of a painting or a sculpture, I admire a pair of sneakers. Finding slight intricacies in the detail on a pair of sneakers excites me, and learning about the inspiration for creating the sneaker gives me an inside look into what the designer was thinking. For some this concept may be difficult to understand, but the respect I have for a well-designed pair of sneakers is similar to one's appreciation for a well-composed symphony. Both have small, elegant aspects to them that come together to form a harmonious creation.
Vintage sneakers are the most fascinating to me. They provide a link to the past that makes them valuable. In a sense, they are time capsules, capable of bringing me back in time. For example, I was not able to watch Michael Jordan win his first NBA championship because I was not even born at the time. Instead, I now own the same model sneaker he was wearing that day in 1991. They are deteriorating as they sit in the box in my closet, older than I am, but they act as an artifact that reveals all about the past.
My sneaker collecting certainly reveals a lot about me as a person. My commitment to collecting proves that I am a naturally devoted person. In anything I start, I always try to finish. Never will I do anything half way, and when I set a goal, I do whatever possible to achieve it. Putting all my effort into anything I am passionate about is an aspect of my character of which I am proud.
This also shows my ability to recognize and appreciate the little things that usually go unnoticed. The most trivial aspect of a sneaker can be what causes me to appreciate it, and this principle is evident in all aspects of life and school. Seeing the little things in, for example, literature or art, enables me to become more involved and interested in the topic and to make observations others may overlook. This analytical trait allows me to see not only what others do not, but see things differently and on a deeper level.
Everything in life has a hidden story and inspiration behind it; sometimes it simply takes a little "sole searching" to find it.
Hi.
I like the way you open your essay with "I". It is important since you are writing an essay about yourself and few people do it.
Besides, he would have told me to "look it up" anyway.
I think is sentence is unnecessary. In fact, the whole first paragraph can be cut short cuz the reference to the woman did not turn out to be a major detail in the whole essay.
In a sense, they are time capsules, capable of bringing me back to a time I have only heard of. Unfortunately, I was not able to watch Michael Jordan win his first NBA championship because I was not even born at the time.
This is a really idea!
This also shows my ability to recognize and appreciate the little things that usually go unnoticed.
I think instead of telling them what they should get out of this essay, tell them more about your observations, and how this interest is meaningful to you. Do not tell people how they should feel, they will ultimately decide if you match the person you are describing.
G L~
wow I love this essay. I wish I had something this unique to talk about haha. The only thing I didn't really like was how you started the second paragraph with "Hello, my name is..." It seems a little, ionno, forced? And it's definitely unnecessary because the admissions officers are going to have your name right there. I feel like if you just start with "I am addicted to sneakers," it not only emphasizes the statement more, but it also directly transitions from the previous paragraph.
