Undergraduate / "Homeless for a night" Stanford Essay, an experience intellectually stimulates you [11]

I dragged the refrigerator box thought thy dry, dirt patched grass, looking for a place to sleep for the night. Makeshifts cardboard structures popped up everywhere as teens constructed their homes for the night. It was Night in a Box, an event to increase awareness for homelessness and raise money for the ...

This is my first draft. please tear it to shreds. i need a concluding sentence & lots of advice!!
My character limit is 1500 im at 1700. what can i cut?

after edits:
I stood in the dinner line, my shivering hands gripping a plastic spoon and bowl in he left, and a flimsy cup of water in the right. A single ladle of condensed chicken noodle soup poured into my bowl and I took broke a white roll from the bag stamped with 99 cents in red letters. Sitting on the frozen bleachers I wolfed down the food, but no seconds were allowed, so I headed back to camp. The fairground was desolate, lonely, and cold, inhabited only by makeshift cardboard structures and teenagers huddled together in groups. I dragged my refrigerator box through the dirt-patched grass, looking for a place to sleep. The nippy October air whipped past my ears as I knelt down on the dirty ground, ripping duck tape pieces to hold my house together. When things were suitable, I unrolled my sleeping back into the brown cave and climbed in. My long legs didn't fit in the structure and as the cardboard door flaps hit my feet as I slept.

This night was lucky not a common event for me. It was a benefit called "Night in a Box" to raise money for the homeless by spending a night out in conditions similar to their own. When I woke up the next morning with a stiff back and a head cold I was greeted by steaming pancakes and hot chocolate. The United Way counselors who ran the program wanted to reward us for sticking it out all night. I then began to realize how lucky I was. I was only homeless for a night; some people are homeless their entire lives. People in poverty do not receive lavish breakfasts to make up for sparse dinners. In the warm four walls of my home, people's real suffering feels so far away. It took a night sleeping in a box for me to begin thinking outside of it.

Undergraduate / "act to prevent tragedies it in the future" - Princeton Essay [6]

PRINCETON: Using a quote tell about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world

In Gandhi An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments with Truth, Gandhi writes "Be the change you want to see in the world." If there was one thing I could change about my community it would be to stop reckless driving.

Romulus, New York. A place where people take their goats on walks and chickens cross the roads daily. A place where caution signs warn not against bridges ahead, but against Amish buggies. A place where exercise is difficult as every time you try to walk somewhere, a kind neighbor pulls over to offer you a ride. This epitome of country living, my home, is also known for something else, however. All too often, Romulus, NY is a place where teenagers drive carelessly, speeding on the back roads, texting, and blaring the radio.

In my high school of less than 120 people, car accidents are common. A senior died two years ago from driving drunk and the superintendent's son died a month later from speeding. Dangerous driving has affected my own life as well. I have been on dates where "Let's see what this baby can do" is practically a pick up line and zooming off in an Audi is meant to impress. On the way back from a National Honor Society banquet, I was riding home with a member, who decided to go ninety miles an hour. Despite my screaming for him to stop, he started laughing and swerving over the double yellow line. At school the next day he joked, "What's more fun than speeding?" and conversations about the incident turned to sexual innuendo rather than his inexcusable behavior. With a combination of my own experience, the fatalities around me and my parent's counsel, I felt motivated to do something.

I started a safe teen driving movement in Seneca County to stop teens from driving dangerously. My next door neighbor, who owns a towing company, donated a smashed truck from a drunk driving accident. The month of August became "Don't Drive Dumb" month as the truck traveled to schools in the county and was displayed for a week. By the truck was a sign that said "Don't Drive Dumb." My hope was that by having the direct product of reckless driving on display, the message that driving is not a game would reach teens. When the truck returned to Romulus High for the first week of school, local news in Rochester was there to witness the event. I also created a website, dontdrivedumb.info, which in conjunction with widespread media coverage will hopefully spark activism in other teenagers to create similar projects in their hometowns.

Too often, flowers and teddy bears surround our telephone poles as memorials to a family's loss. The public's initial reaction, when seeing something like this is usually "Aw" and "What a terrible tragedy." While this response is natural, I encourage people to think not only of the sadness, but how to act to prevent it in the future.

Undergraduate / Ice cream essay too childish? Common App 150 Words on Work Experience. [9]

I thought that scooping ice cream would be easy. My first week of work proved otherwise. I tipped the mop bucket over, and spilled gallons of soapy water on the floor. I was embarrassed, but I didn't panic. To dry the floor, I skated around the shop floor with towels under my feet. The waiting customers were so amused by my mistake that they left me an extra large tip. My enthusiasm and jokes kept customers smiling, even if they received a special "leaning tower of ice cream" cone. I ended that summer with a strong scooping arm, worn out sneakers, and knowing that when life got slippery, I would dance.

It can be 150 words and I have about 110. room for improvement?