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Posts by ShadoPoig1
Joined: Oct 31, 2010
Last Post: Oct 31, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: United States

Displayed posts: 5
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ShadoPoig1   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Lost in Musical Translation-CommonApp Essay [3]

So I chose the prompt about taking a risk and having an experience that defined me. Here's what I have thus far. It's about 8.5 hundred words; is that too long? What should I cut out, etc.? Be as critical as you need to be. Thanks in advance!

At the time, I just wanted to see Drew Barrymore. The cast and music producers of the movie Music and Lyrics were sponsoring New York City middle school music classes. When only the music producers came to mine, I was disappointed, but still sensed the importance of the event. My class-divided into pairs of a keyboardist and vocalist-had practiced playing the movie's theme, "Way Back Into Love," for weeks to demonstrate our musical skills.

On the big day, though, my vocalist partner was absent. At first, I considered just playing the piano part of the song. After hearing the same piano keys and singing voices several times as I waited my turn, though, I became worried that a solo piano piece would just extend the banality. When practicing the song on my keyboards at home, I would substitute other instruments for the vocals by recording background music and playing over it. The sounds and beats I combined made me a one-man-band, and my improvisations made each sit-down a unique venture.

I didn't really imagine that these musings would escape my bedroom walls to be exposed to the world; I had played for visiting relatives once when the complexities of the concurrent instruments and beats collapsed on each other, ruining the song. I was ashamed at the failure of my boldness and consequently kept my songs to myself.

But the decision between playing a mundane piano piece as another "nice" act or doing something vastly different at the risk of messing up in front of the music producers and being lampooned by my classmates drew nearer. As the act before mine wrapped up, I glimpsed an audio director suppress a yawn. He attempted to hide it by flashing a smile reminiscent of the one a mother gives to a toddler son who's shown her his twentieth drawing of a house in a day. My decision was made.

I poked around on the keyboard's settings to create background music, a violin chord progression for my left hand, and a mellow but distinct electric piano melody for my right. I'm not supposed to be doing this, I thought to myself. This hasn't been rehearsed. But I'd already begun.

I opened with a poignant piano solo, reflecting the solitude of Hugh Grant's character in the movie. Analogous to the movie's characters, the piano and strings welcomed each other's comfort and company. While practicing with beats and backing tracks at home, I believed that I was translating the movie into the language of music, a language that everyone can comprehend. How can I help the blind man understand the movie as well as anyone else? When I reached the first chorus, a duet of the film's lovers, I reflected their budding chemistry by summoning the heartbeat of the drums and the soul of the guitars. With each measure, I deviated further and further from what was intended of this small performance, like a little child who knew no restraint. I felt a sense of overexerted power, creating anything I wanted to. Yet I simultaneously felt powerless, as the song pulsated through the speakers of the keyboard and I lost control of my fingers.

I forgot that an audience was watching as I became enraptured in my song. I felt the freedom of innovation, no longer confined to the precise staccatos of Bach or the formulaic crescendos of Beethoven that I'd usually play in school and for my piano teacher.

After several minutes, I experienced the satisfying exhaustion of a free hound after bounding as he pleases on an open field. My senses regained focus on my surrounding. As I ended the song with a closing drum phrase, I saw the quasi-bewildered faces of my classmates and the music producers. What did I do? I started fearing the worst. I went too far. I should've stuck with the script.

But my thoughts were cut off by cheering applause.

Afterward, the chief music editor pulled me aside, wanting to interview me for his radio show. He said I played for the audience by evoking energy and being different. My friends described my song as "awesome," while other classmates scoffed at it, saying that it mocked classical music. To me, the best review of all was "I wish it lasted longer." I did, too.

For the first time as a musician, I performed and was lauded for a piece I had redefined, at liberty to convey my reinterpretation in the way I wished. Even today, whether I am playing at a birthday party, an Indian Fashion Show, or recording for a record-label reggae artist, I try to grow by learning and innovating, based on my own feel of the songs and the audience's response. Unlike my classical piano concerts, these venues are not simply for me to reprise Mozart's immortal piece of music. There, I create and provide my own.

After speaking to the music director of Music and Lyrics, I knew that a new door had opened for me. And I had the sliver of naďve hope that someday down the road, I'd bump into him and get a break in his next big film. Maybe, I could play for Ms. Barrymore herself.
ShadoPoig1   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "my goal of becoming a cardiologist" - Columbia supplement [5]

You sure you want to have "old" friends in there if you're still hanging out?
Do you want to make "sitting in on" "auditing"? It might sound more professional...

That's actually really great though. Best of luck!
ShadoPoig1   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "diagnosed with leukemia" - Georgetown Short Essay ... activity of most involvement [3]

I have been most involved in my school's chapter of Rotary International Interact Club. In my community, the Interact Club is one of the most visible groups to representrepresenting my school. The club volunteers with many different organizations, both international and local.

When I was a freshman, a

It's pretty good overall! Just had those tidbits.
ShadoPoig1   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Timely Innovation-What do you see yourself exploring at UPenn? [11]

It's as if I were a student there; I just took the whole "what do you see yourself doing" to the point where I literally see myself going through this kind of life. Maybe I should make it more evident.

Thanks for the feedback!
ShadoPoig1   
Oct 31, 2010
Undergraduate / Timely Innovation-What do you see yourself exploring at UPenn? [11]

Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn?

Here's what I have so far. Is my first-person, present-tense approach a bit too much? (btw, I'm applying to M&T)

My eyes open slowly and calmly. The gears of my mind begin to turn once again, thinking about my agenda for the day. It's bright on the Quad...too bright. My gaze darts to my alarm clock. 10:17 am. Did I oversleep? What happened to the alarm? I jump out of bed, my fuel cell diagrams flying everywhere.

"I can't believe we met the Vice President of JP Morgan yesterday," my roommate garbles while brushing his teeth.
I realize it's a Saturday; as members of the Wharton Energy Club, we spent most of Friday attending the Wharton Energy Conference next door in the big city. I became so immersed in the discussion and presentations that I was unaware of the fact that I was a teenager amidst countless middle-aged, professional business men and women. Having studied at Wharton and SEAS through the Management and Technology program, I'm able to understand most of what is being discussed. All as an undergraduate student.

I freshen up and head to Lippincott for a book for Management 235: Technological Innovation and Entrepreneurship. I had been looking forward to this class since I arrived at Penn, and it went beyond my already-hyped expectations. Whereas I expected to simply sit in lectures and take notes, I learned how involved and stimulating the classes at Wharton can be. I've felt privileged to be taught graduate school material by graduate school professors so early on. But that's the norm here at Wharton.

Walking down the Quad, I see chemical engineering professor Vohs and decide to ask him about his recommendation letter for my Vagelos research grant. He approaches me first: "Hey, Varun! I submitted the forms yesterday. Let's hope for the best." I hope that the grant will facilitate my research of fuel cells, but that's only the half of it. I plan on inventing and developing a business model to sell something for practical use that could be powered by fuel cells. I'll meet some friends at the Weiss Tech House later today; we're creating a project for PennVention as well as submitting a proposal for the Venture Initiative Program. As the first and best programs of their kind for undergraduate students, each of these will help me get exposed to the world of business and innovation. With the support of the College, I am free to experiment and take risks to grow as an entrepreneur.

But I have a unique choice of extracurricular activities here, too. As an Indian and avid Bollywood fan, I've joined PenNaatak-I can finally play that overzealous villain who sings and dances. I've easily made great friends as a member of PenNaatak, and our common love of Indian culture brings me back home to my paneer makhni and roti.

After a long day of work and fun-the line between the two is becoming increasingly blurry-I sit at my desk to write an article for my humor DP column, Bad Karma Sharma. Maybe this time, I'll write about alarm clocks.
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