Undergraduate / "Building is my passion" - Penn supplemental essay - Is it specific enough? [3]

Building has always been a passion of mine. With a keen grasp of math and science, I feel that engineering would be a perfect field of study for me. In high school, I have maintained a rigorous academic schedule and like the challenge of learning new material. At the same time, I realize that athletics are an equally important aspect of my studies. At the University of Pennsylvania, I see a great opportunity for myself to excel in both of these areas. On a smaller scale, there are a number of groups at Penn that appeal to my specific tastes in both academics and athletics.

A major real-world issue that I have come to follow is sustainability. I think that my generation will have to be the first to start planning for a future without fossil fuels and I think that solar energy will play a crucial role in that future. Recently, I spent some time working as an intern in the Renewable Energy department at PSEG. Solar energy is a huge focus within the department, and it seems to show a great deal of promise. Currently, however, it is an under-researched field with potential to grow. At Penn, I would love to learn more about the industry through programs like Penn Solar. In addition, as a member of this group, I would pursue opportunities to perform and learn about research regarding solar energy.

Another important engineering related activity I have been interested in for the past few years has been the Appalachia Service Project. It has shown me a number of things about myself, the most important of which was my love of building things for the greater good. I am very excited to see that Penn has a similar program in the form of Engineers Without Borders. This club is especially interesting to me because it focuses specifically on engineering projects unlike ASP, which focuses more on installing siding or building wheel-chair ramps. Engineers Without Borders would provide me with the opportunity to work on true engineering projects with greater benefits to the people and their communities.

Outside of academics, athletics play a major role in my daily life. I believe that sports are an important supplement to school work because they stimulate your body while allowing your mind to relax, the opposite of schoolwork. For this reason and because of my general love of sports, I have enthusiastically participated in as many sports throughout my high school including varsity soccer, squash, and baseball to intramural basketball and dodge ball. At Penn, I would like to continue participating in competitive sports whether on an intramural, club, or varsity team. Squash is of special interest to me. I have dedicated many hours to squash throughout high school and the opportunity to continue playing in college is another reason why I am interested in Penn.

The University of Pennsylvania is a great school for me. There are many organizations within the different schools so that I can fully investigate all my interests like Penn Solar and Engineers Without Boarders. Though I am an engineer at heart, I also have a general passion for learning and knowledge running the gambit from business plans to Dub Step music to the future of human civilization. Through the wide range of student groups at the University of Pennsylvania along with the world-class academic institutions like Penn's School of Engineering and Applied Science, I would be able to spend my time to learn, discuss, and research my ideas while taking an active role in Penn's society as the most important part of college life and The University of Pennsylvania will provide me with an opportunity to do that with all of my interests.

Undergraduate / The Appalachia Service Project - Does this essay explain how ASP impacted me? [2]

Hi

I'm not sure if my essay is too long and need help to edit it. Thanks.

The Appalachia Service Project changes you. That's what I was told before going on my first trip to the mountains of Tennessee fixing houses for people in need. Skeptical, I did not believe that one experience could have such an impact on me, yet for the past two summers, each trip to Appalachia has proven me wrong.

On my first ASP trip, as a stubborn, jaded sophomore, I expected little. I knew no one going on the trip, and I didn't expect to make friends with the other kids. I disliked doing house chores and wasn't eager to work on other peoples' houses. In both instances, my initial assumptions were wrong. First, I was surprised how similar the people there were to me as many of us shared an enjoyment for sports and spent hours of our free-time playing basketball, soccer, and dodge ball in the school gym. Second, I was surprised how rewarding it was to fix a stranger's house as the sawing, drilling, and hammering were more enjoyable and rewarding when done to help another. Contrary to my initial expectations, I woke up each morning ready to get to work and as the week ended, I couldn't wait for the following summer in anticipation of another rewarding, fun trip.

Back in Appalachia as a junior, my first day of work was dramatic as the woman whose house we were fixing suddenly came outside crying hysterically. She had just gotten news that her twenty-year-old son was dead. It was the most difficult experience I had ever faced. Having no prior relationship with her, I wasn't sure how to react. I wanted to show that I was sympathetic but at the same time, I had no experience in dealing with death and I really had no idea what to do. In the end, I told her that I was sorry for her loss and I went back to work with an added passion. Although there was nothing I could say to make her feel better, my increased dedication to building her handicap ramp was my way of showing I cared.

The past two summers as an ASP volunteer have affected me greatly. I've learned to keep an open mind and not to pass judgment on people I don't know. I've learned that I can get enjoyment from things unexpected. I've learned that I love to build things, especially things that will help others. And, I've learned that words alone do not convey a message; my actions too are ways to express myself.

Undergraduate / Should personal essay on Common App be less than 150 words?? [3]

my essay is over 177. Is that a problem. Please help me revise if yes.

My internship at PSEG this summer was an important experience because it helped me to get an understanding for life outside of high school. Each day, I woke up at 6:30 a.m., dressed up in a shirt and tie, and boarded the express train to Newark, NJ. On the train were men and women whose indifference towards me starkly contrasted the parental figures that surrounded me for the past seventeen years. They drank coffee while furiously typing into their laptops, never looking up to acknowledge me the strange sight of a teenager taking the train to work. Oddly, their indifference made me feel like I was one of them, an adult going to work, not a child needing to be watched over or cared for. Being ignored meant that I was mature enough to figure things out on my own. Moreover, their faith in me developed my own sense of self-reliance. Proudly, I had no major slip-ups. Each day I came home exhausted yet satisfied knowing that I was mature and capable of taking care of myself.