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Posts by chrispigs
Joined: Nov 1, 2010
Last Post: Nov 1, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  


Displayed posts: 6
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chrispigs   
Nov 1, 2010
Undergraduate / "NIKE Baseball Camp at Jackals Stadium" - Baseball Camp [3]

Elaborate on An Extracurricular Activity or work experience 150 words.

During my time as a camp counselor in the summer at the NIKE Baseball Camp at Jackals Stadium, I learned about dealing with small children from the ages of six to fifteen years old. As a camp counselor, my main job was to instruct the game of baseball to the children, but sometimes I found that babysitter was a better title for my position. During my time at the camp, I provided water for the kids, picked up trash when they would leave it laying everywhere, break up fights, hold valuable possessions and even play a doctor's role in the brief absence of the camp director. In brief, I had many little tasks to accomplish while at camp that maybe prepared me for some future role. I have learned strategies to deal with children and to keep my composure in the oddest of situations in my time at camp.

Any advice or thoughts would be great
chrispigs   
Nov 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Baseball - Giving Back to the Club (Critique needed) Common App [4]

150 Word Elaboration on An Extracurricular Activity. Any advice would be great!!!

Baseball is a huge part of my life and thanks to the Montclair Baseball Club, I have not only built baseball skills, but strong character as well. Having played in the club for so long, I felt it was only right to give back and volunteer to help with their many activities. Over the years many annual events are held in the name of the club, and I find that they now call on me as a reliable source for support. As my participation increased, so did the responsibility that was left in my hands. I have gone from being an occasional helper to having the responsibilities of an assistant coach. Whether it be working the players during tryouts or helping children with special needs in the annual Challenger Game, I am always keeping busy by helping those who made me the player and person I am today.

Glad to hear anything. Thanks
chrispigs   
Nov 1, 2010
Undergraduate / "The pen is mightier than the sword": Elaborate on an extracurricular activity [4]

I think both essays are very good. Though the one about your writing is a bit indirect it is obvious you are talking about writing and I think you display your passion well. My only problem (a very tiny one) is the last sentence where you say, "Now, I not only write for myself but for others as well."

It makes me feel as if you decided to write for others over the span of writing the essay, which I'm sure wasn't your intention. I think if you plainly stated, I not only write for myself..." i think it would be fine.

The piano essay is good as well. I think it brings out more of your ability to grow and also demonstrates your commitment to your craft. In the first sentence the number 4 has to spelled out but other than that I think it's very good.

When deciding between the two, I would say that the 1st shows your passion while the 2nd displays growth. I'd go with the first
chrispigs   
Nov 1, 2010
Undergraduate / Should personal essay on Common App be less than 150 words?? [3]

Yes, the short answer should be around 150 words, give or take 10 words. Granted, they are not going to count the amount of words, but the short answer is something that should take less than a minute to read.

As for your essay, it's very good and I like the topic but it could be quite easy to streamline a bit.

First sentence, "My internship at PSEG..."; They know it's important because you're writing about it. Perhaps if you said, "My internship at PSEG this summer enlightened me of life outside of high school" or something more direct.

Also I feel you could somehow combine, "Being ignored meant that I was mature enough to figure things out on my own. Moreover, their faith in me developed my own sense of self-reliance"

Like, "Being ignored gave me my own sense of self reliance and I realized that I was mature enough for the responsibilities given to me."

Good Luck!!
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