kdboadu
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "Proprietary software, roommate, research" - All Stanford's supplimentary essays [5]
Thank you ef kevin!!
Thank you ef kevin!!
kdboadu
Nov 27, 2010
Undergraduate / "Excellent computer science professors and diversity" -Allegheny college essay prompt [6]
Thank you!! i will make the changes
Thank you!! i will make the changes
kdboadu
Nov 16, 2010
Undergraduate / "Excellent computer science professors and diversity" -Allegheny college essay prompt [6]
Thank you very much! You have no idea how much you have helped me...seriously!
Thank you very much! You have no idea how much you have helped me...seriously!
kdboadu
Nov 16, 2010
Undergraduate / "Excellent computer science professors and diversity" -Allegheny college essay prompt [6]
Why are you interested in Allegheny college? (your response is quite important to the admission committee.)
Allegheny seemed ordinary on the Common Application until I read reviews by their students. They emphasized the excellent computer science professors, and the diversity of the student body. Upon seeing these testimonials I immediately decided to apply. I am impressed with the computer science curriculum and delirious about the student-faculty research. On the computer science department page it says, "Allegheny's computer science majors understand the theories and concepts behind the technology, and there's almost no limit to the ways in which this broad-based knowledge can be adapted." I want to use the knowledge I acquire to help solve the world's problems. Computers are the future of the world and I know Allegheny College will give me the opportunity to join this bright and exciting future.
please help!!
Why are you interested in Allegheny college? (your response is quite important to the admission committee.)
Allegheny seemed ordinary on the Common Application until I read reviews by their students. They emphasized the excellent computer science professors, and the diversity of the student body. Upon seeing these testimonials I immediately decided to apply. I am impressed with the computer science curriculum and delirious about the student-faculty research. On the computer science department page it says, "Allegheny's computer science majors understand the theories and concepts behind the technology, and there's almost no limit to the ways in which this broad-based knowledge can be adapted." I want to use the knowledge I acquire to help solve the world's problems. Computers are the future of the world and I know Allegheny College will give me the opportunity to join this bright and exciting future.
please help!!
kdboadu
Nov 14, 2010
Undergraduate / "scrupulous in everything" - Ohio State: What is one thing you do really well? [6]
no problem! Good luck! :)
no problem! Good luck! :)
kdboadu
Nov 12, 2010
Essays / How to improve the vocabulary I use on essays for proficiency level? [5]
do what you can..using big words that you don't really know or use would make your essay artificial.
do what you can..using big words that you don't really know or use would make your essay artificial.
kdboadu
Nov 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "my knowledge of engineering" explain academic performance : Virginia Tech supplement [4]
Many people transfer from school to school of (try "that have" different academic levels with ease. They manage to fit in socially while maintaining scholarly ranks such as honor roll or Headmaster's list. I was one of those students; until the beginning of high school.
Filled with ascertains, I entered one of the best schools on the small island where I reside, for my freshman year. I was in for a surprise when (awkward) discovering how difficult my classes were: specifically, physical science and algebra. As I sat and watched my grade point average decrease before my eyes; (put a comma instead) I knew drastic changes would be implemented ("had to be made" You can keep implemented but change to fit it in). My algebra instructor volunteered to tutor me, and I happily accepted the offer. My grades increased slightly but, not to my satisfaction.
During my sophomore and junior year subtle changes were made in academic performance. My self-esteem for academics was boosted by the only teacher who displayed faith in my intelligence: (semicolon) my algebra teacher. Becoming cognizant of my inner being, I realized that although (^I was) receiving poor grades in physical science; a lesson was learned. I am saturated with the potential energy as a 2,000 ton, iron ball at fifty yards in the sky. (very much need but very out of place, try a transition)
This is currently my senior year . Figuratively, I am releasing that ball: filled with intelligence, creativity, sportsmanship, leadership, innovative thinking, and confidence. My academic performance and maturity has exponentially increased; from C's to B's, to presently, A's.
To sum it all up, there were unimpressive scores in my high school year but, they are rising along with my individuality, Virginia Polytechnic Institute is the institution that can become the H2O to my plant of life (I like this!). Through this institution, my knowledge of engineering would be expanded; so that one day I may improve prosthetic legs, arms or even hearts for a person filled with potential energy just like me. (amazing ending)
Hope I helped! Good luck!
Many people transfer from school to school of (try "that have" different academic levels with ease. They manage to fit in socially while maintaining scholarly ranks such as honor roll or Headmaster's list. I was one of those students; until the beginning of high school.
Filled with ascertains, I entered one of the best schools on the small island where I reside, for my freshman year. I was in for a surprise when (awkward) discovering how difficult my classes were: specifically, physical science and algebra. As I sat and watched my grade point average decrease before my eyes; (put a comma instead) I knew drastic changes would be implemented ("had to be made" You can keep implemented but change to fit it in). My algebra instructor volunteered to tutor me, and I happily accepted the offer. My grades increased slightly but, not to my satisfaction.
During my sophomore and junior year subtle changes were made in academic performance. My self-esteem for academics was boosted by the only teacher who displayed faith in my intelligence: (semicolon) my algebra teacher. Becoming cognizant of my inner being, I realized that although (^I was) receiving poor grades in physical science; a lesson was learned. I am saturated with the potential energy as a 2,000 ton, iron ball at fifty yards in the sky. (very much need but very out of place, try a transition)
This is currently my senior year . Figuratively, I am releasing that ball: filled with intelligence, creativity, sportsmanship, leadership, innovative thinking, and confidence. My academic performance and maturity has exponentially increased; from C's to B's, to presently, A's.
To sum it all up, there were unimpressive scores in my high school year but, they are rising along with my individuality, Virginia Polytechnic Institute is the institution that can become the H2O to my plant of life (I like this!). Through this institution, my knowledge of engineering would be expanded; so that one day I may improve prosthetic legs, arms or even hearts for a person filled with potential energy just like me. (amazing ending)
Hope I helped! Good luck!
kdboadu
Nov 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "what I'm capable of" - Brown supp - "What Don't you know?" [6]
Your essay seemed a little depressing at the start but you tied it off really well with a great ending. I don't know what I am capable of without limits, but I am excited to find out. Also, you need to consider the major you plan to take; this is because you talk about your math disabilities. If you are taking a major that includes math you might want to put a specific achievement you had in math.
Hope I helped!
Your essay seemed a little depressing at the start but you tied it off really well with a great ending. I don't know what I am capable of without limits, but I am excited to find out. Also, you need to consider the major you plan to take; this is because you talk about your math disabilities. If you are taking a major that includes math you might want to put a specific achievement you had in math.
Hope I helped!
kdboadu
Nov 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "Proprietary software, roommate, research" - All Stanford's supplimentary essays [5]
Thank you a lot mylittlegoni!!! You are the best!! I will make the changes.
Thank you a lot mylittlegoni!!! You are the best!! I will make the changes.
kdboadu
Nov 11, 2010
Undergraduate / Snowboarding - extracurricular activity - winter sports [2]
What is snowboarding to me? "I would not even call snowboarding a sport. It is a way of life. It is a chance to shut your brain off and live in the moment." Travis Rice could not have said it any better. Snowboarding has become a part of who I am and has had many influences on my life. The sport of snowboarding (if Travis Rice say it is not a sport and you believe you are in sense contradicting yourself by calling it a sport) has taught me very valuable skill such as: (dont put such as or : i think it would be better to put "like") Persistence, Hard work, Courage and Dedication (you don't have to capitalize them). I was taught to be persistent when learning new tricks. From personal experience, when learning ("when learning" makes it a bit awkward. You also repeated it twice) a new trick I experienced many failures and countless tries (countless tries does not make sense. Maybe you are trying to say, you tried many times) but snowboarding taught me to stick with it (stick with it is too informal. Try persistent) because the taste of victory and achievement is incomparable (incomparable to what?) . The sport also taught me about the value of courage and being able to take risks. ( and "risk talking") From watching other people accel (not a word. If you mean accelerate it might be better to put that), I learned that I need to really push myself if I want to be at the top of the charts (doesn't make sense. try "be the best", "make it to the top").Almost every time that I ride I scare the living daylights out of myself. This is not a bad thing though because it teaches me to push my ("come out of my") comfort zone and reap the rewards. Snowboarding also taught me dedication because if (once) you love something enough and would like to be good at it,then you need to be dedicated. All the time that I spend thinking about (thinking about what?) and actually riding my snowboard show my extreme dedication and it really does pay off. Snowboarding to me is a way that I live my life. ("s my way of life")
Good essay. Try taking out "riding". Maybe it is a term i dont know, but it sounds informal. Good luck!!
What is snowboarding to me? "I would not even call snowboarding a sport. It is a way of life. It is a chance to shut your brain off and live in the moment." Travis Rice could not have said it any better. Snowboarding has become a part of who I am and has had many influences on my life. The sport of snowboarding (if Travis Rice say it is not a sport and you believe you are in sense contradicting yourself by calling it a sport) has taught me very valuable skill such as: (dont put such as or : i think it would be better to put "like") Persistence, Hard work, Courage and Dedication (you don't have to capitalize them). I was taught to be persistent when learning new tricks. From personal experience, when learning ("when learning" makes it a bit awkward. You also repeated it twice) a new trick I experienced many failures and countless tries (countless tries does not make sense. Maybe you are trying to say, you tried many times) but snowboarding taught me to stick with it (stick with it is too informal. Try persistent) because the taste of victory and achievement is incomparable (incomparable to what?) . The sport also taught me about the value of courage and being able to take risks. ( and "risk talking") From watching other people accel (not a word. If you mean accelerate it might be better to put that), I learned that I need to really push myself if I want to be at the top of the charts (doesn't make sense. try "be the best", "make it to the top").
Good essay. Try taking out "riding". Maybe it is a term i dont know, but it sounds informal. Good luck!!
kdboadu
Nov 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "scrupulous in everything" - Ohio State: What is one thing you do really well? [6]
If I can (replace with could)only say one thing I do really well (this does not help your next sentence. Scrupulous is a adjective so you cant "do well" in scrupulous. Hope you understand what I mean), I believe it is that I can (am) scrupulous in everything. (these two sentences have nothing in common; you need a transition) I didn't realize why a man (one) should be patient with his (^or her; or you could put their) work until I was in high school.
I was (if you are still put am) the Minister of Health in the student government in high school (it would be better to put the year; like senior or sophomore), and one of my important jobs was to supervise the students to clean the school compound. I was not so (very) careful about this task at first. I just wandered around the main roads to see ifthere if the students had cleaned them, (put ; otherwise the sentence will be runon) and I seemed to be very good. However, after a few weeks, when I adventitiously (this word seems like one you took directly from a dictionary. You sound more natural. If this is from your vocabulary fine, just make it sound more natural and fluid) passed by a corner of the school, I found a large pile of trash, smelly (put, I found a smelly large pile of trash), with a large quantity (quantity can't be used for flies; try "a lot") of flies around it. It is shameful that I didn't even know this situation before just because of my carelessness. (This sentence is awkward. Put, I was ashamed to see that this was a result of my carelessness).
I dealt with the problem immediately. What's more, I have learnt to be always scrupulous in my work. With patience, I found myself able to study more efficiently, and work better. (Nice ending, I like it! It ties everything together)
In the introduction you start to talk about how scrupulous you are, however you need to say that you attained the trait through an event (which is the garbage event. This is my opinion, hope you get it!!
If I can (replace with could)
I was (if you are still put am) the Minister of Health in the student government in high school (it would be better to put the year; like senior or sophomore), and one of my important jobs was to supervise the students to clean the school compound. I was not so (very) careful about this task at first. I just wandered around the main roads to see if
I dealt with the problem immediately. What's more, I have learnt to be always scrupulous in my work. With patience, I found myself able to study more efficiently, and work better. (Nice ending, I like it! It ties everything together)
In the introduction you start to talk about how scrupulous you are, however you need to say that you attained the trait through an event (which is the garbage event. This is my opinion, hope you get it!!
kdboadu
Nov 11, 2010
Undergraduate / "Proprietary software, roommate, research" - All Stanford's supplimentary essays [5]
Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.
Proprietary software should be completely eradicated and replaced entirely with open source software. I have always wondered why I had to pay for some simple softwares while others of the same caliber or better, were a download away. Open source by definition is, "a development method for software that harnesses the power of distributed peer review and transparency of process." It is software that is available for others to study, change, and improve. Proprietary companies who create proprietary software, have mandate, given by their copyright, to control what their users do with their software. Open source can be seen in agriculture, health and science, government, ethics, media, education, arts and recreation. In these different areas, there is an issue of knowledge. Knowledge acquired through years of education, results in impact in the workplace and income. The question is, should years of education with hope of getting a good salary, be wasted with on a mere ideology? In other words, why should individuals commit their resources to open source projects when they will be no reward?The answer is very simple, a report by a Standish Group says that, due to the partial acceptance of open-source software, $60 billion has been saved by customers. Clearly, open source software is the way to the future of technology.
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Like many other freshmen my greatest fear is to get a roommate that I won't like. Luckily, you wont have that problem! I believe in a verse from the bible that says, "theres time for everything". As a kid I thought I was a superhero, and that the important heroic attribute I had, was balance. This is because I tried hard at everything, I tried hard at school, and tried even harder at games. In order words I took my fun and work very serious. All I am saying is that there wouldn't be a day we spent together that you wouldn't laugh with me and study with me. I vow to make your once in a lifetime college experience exhilarating!
Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.
Being Ghanaian, I based my University research a lot on climate. However, I didn't want this to prevent me from going to an excellent University like Stanford. After my research I concluded that Stanford was the best place for me. Stanford being located in California meant two things, it was a my ideal climate, and two it was close to the best Computer Science companies in the world. This meant I wouldn't have trouble finding internship, and later a job. I have no doubt about the quality of education Stanford would offer; it's reputation preceded its name. My like for Stanford grew as I researched more about it. I was especially delirious about the student-faculty research. A statement on the Computer Science page on the website hit me. It says, "The main educational goal is to prepare students for research and teaching careers either in universities or in industry." Stanford's goal is give me the necessary skills to become successful and influential. This means I will achieve my goal of, attaining excellent skills and using them to solve practical problems that would make the world an easier place to inhabit.
I need help!! please read and edit. Also tell me if you would let me in if you were an admissions office. Thank you in advance!!
Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.
Proprietary software should be completely eradicated and replaced entirely with open source software. I have always wondered why I had to pay for some simple softwares while others of the same caliber or better, were a download away. Open source by definition is, "a development method for software that harnesses the power of distributed peer review and transparency of process." It is software that is available for others to study, change, and improve. Proprietary companies who create proprietary software, have mandate, given by their copyright, to control what their users do with their software. Open source can be seen in agriculture, health and science, government, ethics, media, education, arts and recreation. In these different areas, there is an issue of knowledge. Knowledge acquired through years of education, results in impact in the workplace and income. The question is, should years of education with hope of getting a good salary, be wasted with on a mere ideology? In other words, why should individuals commit their resources to open source projects when they will be no reward?The answer is very simple, a report by a Standish Group says that, due to the partial acceptance of open-source software, $60 billion has been saved by customers. Clearly, open source software is the way to the future of technology.
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.
Like many other freshmen my greatest fear is to get a roommate that I won't like. Luckily, you wont have that problem! I believe in a verse from the bible that says, "theres time for everything". As a kid I thought I was a superhero, and that the important heroic attribute I had, was balance. This is because I tried hard at everything, I tried hard at school, and tried even harder at games. In order words I took my fun and work very serious. All I am saying is that there wouldn't be a day we spent together that you wouldn't laugh with me and study with me. I vow to make your once in a lifetime college experience exhilarating!
Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.
Being Ghanaian, I based my University research a lot on climate. However, I didn't want this to prevent me from going to an excellent University like Stanford. After my research I concluded that Stanford was the best place for me. Stanford being located in California meant two things, it was a my ideal climate, and two it was close to the best Computer Science companies in the world. This meant I wouldn't have trouble finding internship, and later a job. I have no doubt about the quality of education Stanford would offer; it's reputation preceded its name. My like for Stanford grew as I researched more about it. I was especially delirious about the student-faculty research. A statement on the Computer Science page on the website hit me. It says, "The main educational goal is to prepare students for research and teaching careers either in universities or in industry." Stanford's goal is give me the necessary skills to become successful and influential. This means I will achieve my goal of, attaining excellent skills and using them to solve practical problems that would make the world an easier place to inhabit.
I need help!! please read and edit. Also tell me if you would let me in if you were an admissions office. Thank you in advance!!