zxh321
Nov 27, 2010
zxh321
Nov 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "A family that refuses to be ordinary" - the world you come from [4]
Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell
us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I come from a family where everyone refuses to be ordinary.
Initially, my father inherited a photo studio from my grandfather. The life had no stress or suffering, but ordinary. However, my father gave up the photo studio, a place could obtain much income, and decided to go to Beijing looking for a better future and fulfill his dream. Life was extremely tough and lots of problems needed to be overcome that time. After a few years hard working, he finally became a signed photographer of a gallery and held some exhibitions in many different places. He successfully achieved his dream, becoming a well-known artist. During these years, I learned the toughness for the pursuit of the dream but more importantly his path shaped me to keep looking for my own ideal. I knew that the more obstructs one overcame, the better his or hers ability and the stronger his or hers personality, and then the closer to the dream.
My mother is also unique, too. Rather than other middle-aged women who commonly just watching television for relaxation, my mother likes trying new stuffs and always keep pace with the times.
Affected by them, I always do things insistently and had passions to find alternative ways which may uncommon. During the mathematics studying, I sometimes like discovering or using alternative methods to solve problems. When I studied the area of a circle in primary school, rather than using the common formula pi times r square, by using cutting the circle into many pieces of small squares and counting the number, I found the area of a circle is about the Four fifths of the smallest square which can cover the circle. Although this method is not as accurate as the traditional method, but I think it is a quicker way to do estimates and very helpful for checking in the exam.
After graduating from middle school, I abandoned the opportunity to attend a university in China since it would not help me much to achieve my goal, which is to become an individual which does well in economics and contributes to the development of China. I decided to go to America to broaden my view and explore more and most importantly, to receive the best college education after high school. Although I already know that many obstacles are waiting for me during the life there, but I believe these problems would shape me to become a more independent person with better qualities. Life is tough, but only the people who can challenge the life would find the way of success and finally become extraordinary.
I am sure I will, like my father, overcome all the problems when I go outside and finally find my way and achieve my dream, not to be ordinary.
i will appreciate all kinds of improvements, criticisms, etc. Thanks for your help!
Prompt #1
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell
us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I come from a family where everyone refuses to be ordinary.
Initially, my father inherited a photo studio from my grandfather. The life had no stress or suffering, but ordinary. However, my father gave up the photo studio, a place could obtain much income, and decided to go to Beijing looking for a better future and fulfill his dream. Life was extremely tough and lots of problems needed to be overcome that time. After a few years hard working, he finally became a signed photographer of a gallery and held some exhibitions in many different places. He successfully achieved his dream, becoming a well-known artist. During these years, I learned the toughness for the pursuit of the dream but more importantly his path shaped me to keep looking for my own ideal. I knew that the more obstructs one overcame, the better his or hers ability and the stronger his or hers personality, and then the closer to the dream.
My mother is also unique, too. Rather than other middle-aged women who commonly just watching television for relaxation, my mother likes trying new stuffs and always keep pace with the times.
Affected by them, I always do things insistently and had passions to find alternative ways which may uncommon. During the mathematics studying, I sometimes like discovering or using alternative methods to solve problems. When I studied the area of a circle in primary school, rather than using the common formula pi times r square, by using cutting the circle into many pieces of small squares and counting the number, I found the area of a circle is about the Four fifths of the smallest square which can cover the circle. Although this method is not as accurate as the traditional method, but I think it is a quicker way to do estimates and very helpful for checking in the exam.
After graduating from middle school, I abandoned the opportunity to attend a university in China since it would not help me much to achieve my goal, which is to become an individual which does well in economics and contributes to the development of China. I decided to go to America to broaden my view and explore more and most importantly, to receive the best college education after high school. Although I already know that many obstacles are waiting for me during the life there, but I believe these problems would shape me to become a more independent person with better qualities. Life is tough, but only the people who can challenge the life would find the way of success and finally become extraordinary.
I am sure I will, like my father, overcome all the problems when I go outside and finally find my way and achieve my dream, not to be ordinary.
i will appreciate all kinds of improvements, criticisms, etc. Thanks for your help!
zxh321
Nov 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "grandiose stadium, engineering" - OSU's Why I am interested in their University [4]
In the essay, you used many words to describe the goodness of OSU. However, based upon suggestions from my college counselor, I think you should mainly focus on why you fit the OSU, rather than state lots of sentences for the school, such as I know that OSU ranks 24 in Business and 16 in Engineering across the nation , since they have already know that, right?
In the essay, you used many words to describe the goodness of OSU. However, based upon suggestions from my college counselor, I think you should mainly focus on why you fit the OSU, rather than state lots of sentences for the school, such as I know that OSU ranks 24 in Business and 16 in Engineering across the nation , since they have already know that, right?
zxh321
Nov 19, 2010
Undergraduate / UC Prompt #1 : "A Life of a World-Traveler!" [4]
Firstly,
"Attending twelve different schools in six different countries is a thrilling life experience that has greatly contributed to what I have set to be my utmost dream, owning a leading engineering company in the world of renewable energy."
Why attending different schools leads you to want to set up the dream of an owning a company?
Also, I think the beginning of second paragraph is a little prolixity:
"First thing that comes up to most people's mind when they first hear about my life-story is that it must be a challenging experience to live. This is surely undeniable."
I am a not native English speaker, the above things are just for advices. :)
Firstly,
"Attending twelve different schools in six different countries is a thrilling life experience that has greatly contributed to what I have set to be my utmost dream, owning a leading engineering company in the world of renewable energy."
Why attending different schools leads you to want to set up the dream of an owning a company?
Also, I think the beginning of second paragraph is a little prolixity:
"First thing that comes up to most people's mind when they first hear about my life-story is that it must be a challenging experience to live. This is surely undeniable."
I am a not native English speaker, the above things are just for advices. :)
zxh321
Nov 19, 2010
Undergraduate / "My curious characteristic" - will help me learn more and gain success easily [4]
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I am a curious person. I always carefully observe my surroundings and I like the feeling of finding new stuffs and trying new things.
During the trip in London alone, I wanted to discover a real London, a place I had never been to before. I wanted to see its residential life and its different architectural monuments which I would not have seen if I just went to certain famous places. I looked for unique places which may not be famous and were less visited by sightseers, and tried to get a sense of British life in terms of local food and entertainment. Many times as I turned to an unfamiliar road, a brand new world opened to me. I just went ahead and carefully looked for anything appealing to me and as I went further owing to my curiosity, I found a number of places, food, and other things different from what I had seen before. The taste of "fish and chips", the lovely squirrels in Hyde Park, the chimneys on every building, the interlaced subway system, and the numberless cafeterias beside streets ... all these images are imprinted on my memory.
Driven by strong curiosity, I always have a desire of obtaining new and strange things. The moments when I know new knowledge, information or operation principles are always the most impressive time for me.
One of my hobbies when I was a child was to take into pieces for all the things, which can be split, including not only simple electronic toys, but also cameras or even elements of computers. Sometimes, I liked looking for the way it works, too. For example, when I played a toy gun, I was interested in how it shoots bullets very quickly by just pulling the trigger softly. I dissembled the gun into a few parts for finding the method it used. It was so nice to see a series of closely connected movement started from the trigger. After a careful research, I basically understood how it operates, and I was happy about this founding.
As a student who wants to attend an America university for further education, I believe this curious characteristic will help me learn more and gain success easily.
It's my first time to upload my essay. Thanks for helping me edit my essay.
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I am a curious person. I always carefully observe my surroundings and I like the feeling of finding new stuffs and trying new things.
During the trip in London alone, I wanted to discover a real London, a place I had never been to before. I wanted to see its residential life and its different architectural monuments which I would not have seen if I just went to certain famous places. I looked for unique places which may not be famous and were less visited by sightseers, and tried to get a sense of British life in terms of local food and entertainment. Many times as I turned to an unfamiliar road, a brand new world opened to me. I just went ahead and carefully looked for anything appealing to me and as I went further owing to my curiosity, I found a number of places, food, and other things different from what I had seen before. The taste of "fish and chips", the lovely squirrels in Hyde Park, the chimneys on every building, the interlaced subway system, and the numberless cafeterias beside streets ... all these images are imprinted on my memory.
Driven by strong curiosity, I always have a desire of obtaining new and strange things. The moments when I know new knowledge, information or operation principles are always the most impressive time for me.
One of my hobbies when I was a child was to take into pieces for all the things, which can be split, including not only simple electronic toys, but also cameras or even elements of computers. Sometimes, I liked looking for the way it works, too. For example, when I played a toy gun, I was interested in how it shoots bullets very quickly by just pulling the trigger softly. I dissembled the gun into a few parts for finding the method it used. It was so nice to see a series of closely connected movement started from the trigger. After a careful research, I basically understood how it operates, and I was happy about this founding.
As a student who wants to attend an America university for further education, I believe this curious characteristic will help me learn more and gain success easily.
It's my first time to upload my essay. Thanks for helping me edit my essay.