Undergraduate / "She was willing to actually speak out" - someone who has had an impact on you [5]

I rewrote my essay, this time about a different person. This is a rough draft and it feels a bit too abstract for me but here it is. Any feedback is appreciated!

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

While growing up, I imagined my world to be inside a bubble, one that I took great care to keep from rupturing. It was beautiful, and everything that I saw through its glossy walls was beautiful. People lived in color. I understood, to some extent, that there existed people who were hurting, but even they lived in angry reds, or anguished blues, or pained greens. For the most part, the outside world was simply a great palette whose colors washed over the surface of my bubble, then faded away with time. Meanwhile, I stayed within its walls, dry and bright and content. Until it burst.

I can't say exactly when it happened, but I began learning-discovering poverty, sickness, war, the frailty of humans. Then my bubble was gone. I was covered in soap and pale colors, and as I looked around, trying to figure out what had happened, I started seeing gray. And my world was no longer beautiful. I continued to meet people and make friends, including one girl who was in the same gym class as me in the seventh grade. We talked, laughed, played, then drifted apart. Later we encountered each other again in high school and talked, and laughed, and now I cannot even imagine being separated from her. She speaks in gray sometimes, we all do, but she has also taught me to chip away at it until I see color.

She has been through a lot, and although some of her relationships aren't stellar, I have never seen someone with such fierce loyalty and deep love. Where others would wallow in self-pity, she gets up and dusts herself off. She says what she has to say and will not hesitate to stand up for her friends. I am so grateful for being friends with her, and just being around her and talking with her has taught me so much about living life with maturity and love, even in hardship.

I was angry with the world for its poverty and hatred and ignorance. Then I met her, and she was angry too-but she did something about it. She was willing to actually speak out and try to make a difference. That made me realize that I am a part of this world too, and just sitting there and feeling bitter made me hateful and ignorant as well. She taught me to see past the gray in this world by opening my eyes to the people that are reaching out to change it, and she also made me take another look at myself and where I stand. Now I know that stepping out of my bubble had to happen, and whereas before I simply demanded the world to become better on its own, my friend put a paintbrush in my hand and challenged me to do something about it. Sometimes I stumble and make a mistake, and sometimes I choose the wrong color, but thanks to her I have begun leaving my own mark on Earth.

Undergraduate / My ex-bf, now-bff: someone who has made an impact on your life [3]

this is a rough draft, any feedback is welcome and totally appreciated(: thank you~

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

I have known him since elementary school. He lives in the neighborhood across from mine. He is tall, thin, and obsessed with his hair. He can't read his own handwriting. He likes NCIS, cars, and eating the soft part inside a bread bun. He is my ex-boyfriend, one of my best friends, and has had more of an impact on me than he will probably ever know.

We dated for about two years in middle school and went through a rather bad breakup over the summer. He had every right to be bitter, and I expected our relationship to become awkward and eventually fade away, but instead we became even closer, which still surprises me. Instead of not talking to me, he calls me to make sure I get home safely when it rains. Instead of pretending to not know me, he brings me back a present after going on vacation. He has seen me go through other breakups and hardships, and while I have watched relationships crumble around me, he has always been there to help me out of the rubble. His patience and understanding is astounding. Even when I have tried not to show my distress and no one else has said anything to me, the first thing he does when we're alone is ask me if I'm okay. These little things he has done for me for as long as I can remember have really demonstrated how friendship can and should be so powerful and unconditional.

I honestly don't know how we were able to become such good friends, but I like to think that he was willing to give our friendship another chance. The fact that we reconnected almost right after our breakup gave me a new perspective on relationships and how they are built on second chances. He could have easily walked away, but instead he chose to stay and continue to invest in our friendship. This not only maintained the bond between us but also improved my relationships with others, because he really led me to understand that people do make mistakes. Just as he was willing to move past that summer, I have learned that I must move past faults and arguments; that resentment and holding grudges does no one any good; and most of all, that relationships can flourish in even the most unexpected circumstances, and all it takes is a little trust and a second chance.

Sure, we have had our disagreements, but we still remind each other of upcoming tests and share notes if one of us has been absent. We wait for each other after club meetings at school and walk to our cars together. We buy each other souvenirs when we are overseas. We have our inside jokes and games only we know how to play. We share music; we gossip; we give each other advice. And so, in the end, we are the best of friends.