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Posts by aysha
Joined: Dec 16, 2006
Last Post: Feb 7, 2007
Threads: 7
Posts: 1  


Displayed posts: 8
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aysha   
Feb 7, 2007
Writing Feedback / Essay about the disappointments you faced in life [3]

Topic: write about some of the disappointments you faced in life.
Life had been tough for me. i was only sixteen but felt a hundred years old. my life was infact an ocean of endless problems, because i had to face many disappointments in it.

The first disappointment which I faced was when i first knew that my mother had cancer. Tears welled in my eyes. My lips began to quiver and I cried my heart out. I loved my mother more than anything in the world. As she was now on complete bed rest I had to take care of the house. I had become more responsible and tried my best but it felt like and extra burden on my shoulders. Everyday i had to nurse my mother, help my grandmother with the household chores, send my sister to school and help her with the homework. my studies were affected as i was missing school due to the situation at home. Still i never complained and did my work with sincerety and loyalty to my mother. As time passed by she was gradually recovering and by the she had fully recovered all my troubles were over. I thanked god that my mother was saved from this killer disease and that she was living a healthy life now.

Note: Please check this essay.This is how i have started it and now I dont know what to write next as i haven't faced any disappointments in life. i just made it up by my self. Please give me some more ideas to complete my essay. I need an answer soon because I have to submit this after 3 hours.
aysha   
Jan 25, 2007
Essays / "My weekend" - essay writing ideas [2]

Please could u give me some ideas because i have to write an essay on the topic "My weekend".

Thank you.
aysha   
Dec 28, 2006
Writing Feedback / Repaying a kindness; My aunt was an epitomy of goodness. [2]

Topic:Repaying a kindness.

I lay flat on my back on the narrow caste iron bed, thinking about my aunt. I wonder why painful memories stayed more vivid than pleasant ones. She was the person I loved the most and it's just because of her that I'm alive. My aunt was an epitomy of goodness.

I was infatuated on a girl in my class. Her name was Anita. She liked me too. Well, she was from a very prosperous family but her father was really a surly man. He didn't like my friendship with Anita. He tried to warn me and Anita many times but we couldn't live without each other. Anita always went out on movies with me and throwed a caution to the wind. On the other hand my aunt's daughter Sonu liked me very much. She always admired my ways and my actions. She wanted to marry me.

One day when I was sitting in my lawn warming my hands around the mug of steaming hot coffee Anita's father entered suddenly. He had a pistol in his hand and drew a bead at me. His look was full of mistrust, hate and misery. He fired, the bullet escaped from the muzzle and hit directly into my aunt's left arm, who had come in front of me just to save my life. Anita's father immediately fled.

My aunt was wounded severely. She was taken to the hospital immediately. The doctors said that she was very serious and it was too late. On her death-bed she expressed her last wish to me. She wanted her daughter to be married and live a well settled life with her husband. After saying this she breathed her last.

Life had been tough for me. I was only twenty but I felt a hundred years old. I wanted to repay for the kindness my aunt had done for me. She had saved me at the risk of her life. I became headstrong and decided to marry Sonu. Although I didn't love her as much as Anita but it was just a sacrifice I was giving. Perhaps this was only the way I could adopt to repay for my aunt's deed by fulfilling her last wish.
aysha   
Dec 28, 2006
Writing Feedback / Keeping cool - Essay revise [2]

Keeping cool (in any sense) Essay.

As I stood at the bus stop rays of sunlight bathed my face. Tiredness overwhelmed me and my throat felt parched. I hurriedly downed a bottle of water and wiped my sweating forehead. It was summer time.

Everywhere there laid a dismal picture because of the intense heat. Afternoons are lonely and quite. Nothing stirred. It was as if god had pressed the mute button of the people's remote control. This is an ordeal for us and we all try to tackle it by fitting air conditioners in our homes and offices. Nevertheless, people also drink beverages to keep themselves cool and to prevent dehydration. The clothes which they wear are thin just enough to cover their bodies.

The intense heat provides a clue to the condition of the people on the road. The traffic is bumper to bumper. The faces of the impatient drivers and chauffeurs are filled with frustration and red angry looking spots. They fight on a slightest excuse, but now people have air conditioners installed in their cars and they can wait for a long time before the traffic gets clear. In this way, everyone remains cool and the hot temperamental changes of moods remains perpetual. The day gets along like this.

The miserable children who are returning from school by walking home are greatly prone to the rays of sunlight. With blackened and bleeding lips, they suffer agonizing thirst. On reaching home, they immediately take a bath and cool themselves down and maintain the homeostatic control of the body.

Fashion changes with season and with the advent of summer the fashion of keeping short haircuts becomes common. Men of course do have a haircut but women especially go for short haircuts. In this way they think that they look cool. New varieties of cotton clothes are introduced in the market according to the fashion of time. The shopkeepers and market owners are at an advantage because many people buy these clothes. Most of them wear light colors because it makes them feel cool.

The favourite hangouts and recreational places which people visit to keep cool are the mountainous and hilly areas where the temperature is comparatively cooler. So this is how they live through the summers and enjoy them a great deal. I think these are the best ways to keep cool.

As I stood at the bus stop rays of sunlight bathed my face. Tiredness overwhelmed me and my throat felt parched. I hurriedly downed a bottle of water and wiped my sweating forehead. It was summer time.

Everywhere there laid a dismal picture because of the intense heat. Afternoons are lonely and quite. Nothing stirred. It was as if god had pressed the mute button of the people's remote control. This is an ordeal for us and we all try to tackle it by fitting air conditioners in our homes and offices. Nevertheless, people also drink beverages to keep themselves cool and to prevent dehydration. The clothes which they wear are thin just enough to cover their bodies.

The intense heat provides a clue to the condition of the people on the road. The traffic is bumper to bumper. The faces of the impatient drivers and chauffeurs are filled with frustration and red angry looking spots. They fight on a slightest excuse, but now people have air conditioners installed in their cars and they can wait for a long time before the traffic gets clear. In this way, everyone remains cool and the hot temperamental changes of moods remains perpetual. The day gets along like this.

The miserable children who are returning from school by walking home are greatly prone to the rays of sunlight. With blackened and bleeding lips, they suffer agonizing thirst. On reaching home, they immediately take a bath and cool themselves down and maintain the homeostatic control of the body.

Fashion changes with season and with the advent of summer the fashion of keeping short haircuts becomes common. Men of course do have a haircut but women especially go for short haircuts. In this way they think that they look cool. New varieties of cotton clothes are introduced in the market according to the fashion of time. The shopkeepers and market owners are at an advantage because many people buy these clothes. Most of them wear light colors because it makes them feel cool.

The favourite hangouts and recreational places which people visit to keep cool are the mountainous and hilly areas where the temperature is comparatively cooler. So this is how they live through the summers and enjoy them a great deal. I think these are the best ways to keep cool.

Note:this essay comprise of 40 marks.please check this essay, rectify it and give me marks on it. please do give marks because it is very important for me. i need an answer soon because i have to submit this essay tommorrow. i'll be very thankful if you help me.
aysha   
Dec 20, 2006
Student Talk / What grade will i get in my exams? [6]

Hello, you have helped me a lot! thanks. I am doing my O-Levels and i just need an idea that what grade will i get in my exams if i write these kind of essays.please tell me the grade of the previous essay that you have checked for me ie(Nobody gave me a chance). Do i have a good command of english or not?Please always grade me on my essays whenever i send them for feedback.
aysha   
Dec 19, 2006
Writing Feedback / "Nobody gave me a chance! [2]

Topic: write a story which includes the sentence "Nobody gave me a chance!"

I had seen her for along time. There were dark smudges under her eyes and for the first time since I had known her she looked old. I was taken aback. She had changed so much that it was impossible to recognize her. I rubbed my eyes with my knuckles and saw her again. This was the not he friend which I used to know.

I asked her about what had happened to her in the last few years. She let out deep sigh. I could see tears almost welling up in her eyes but she was determined not to give it to the sobs that flared in her throat. She spoke her min d to me. She told me that she hated her mother for the injustice she had done to her. Although her mother was a very strict woman with a stern face she kept the hose in pink ok perfection but she never tried to understand her children. The same problem was aleena my best friend.

Her mother wanted aleena to marry as soon as possible so tat she gets riddance from her responsibility. She never thought what allena's will was and married her to a man who was her father's age. It was just because he was a very rich man and her mother thought that aleena would be rolling in money. Aleena did not like him either and had no intentions to marry him. She awaited her Akbar on her wedding day and had planned to run away with him but unfortunately her mother knew the plan. She called a question to aleena's character and made her forcibly marry that old man.aleena could not do anything and everything went according to her mother's wish. Now she has to lead a miserable life with her husband and is not at all happy with him. That was true for her because money cannot buy everything not even happiness.

I felt very sorry for and asked her that why she didn't open her mouth in protest at that time. She spoke under her breath, "No body gave me a chance!" She hugged me tightly and cried her heart out. A single tear emerged and from my eye and trickled down my cheek. My best friend was so distressed for many years and I never knew about it. I felt that I could hibernate from this world but what could I do? With my head in my hands I fell into deep thoughts.
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