Undergraduate / "less than 15 hours each week" - Johns Hopkins- activities to engage at JHU? [7]

It is a well written essay and it shows that you know the university well which is good. The first few sentences seem a slightly unnecessary however as they dont deal with the essays main point. I think you could make the essay better by merging them to form one smaller sentence, or just replace them with something completely new. Hope this helps. And please check out my common app essay if you have the time =)

Undergraduate / "Chinese eat dogs"- a cultural conflict I enoutered, Common App [14]

I think it's an amazing essay with a great introduction and conclusion. It really does what it is supposed to do, mention a significant incident and show how it helped you mature into a better person. There aren't many mistakes that I could find in the essay, except for the transition between the second and third paragraph which seemed a bit awkward to me.

Hope this helped a bit, and please review my common app essay and lafayette college supplement if you have the time .=)

Undergraduate / "a head for maps and delegation" - Common App Activity Essay - Duke of Edinburgh [3]

it's a nice essay since it actually shows how the experience changed you. However, I think there are some places where you could be a bit clearer. For example in the 1st para the line.

this manifested in minute-by-minute decisions, such as the team's walking order" sounds a little weird to me and in the second para i think it would sound better if you switched 'eventually' with 'usually' in the line, "In pain, I eventually fall to senseless, introverted endurance"

Hope this helps. =) And please review my common app essay if you have the time

Undergraduate / NUS ADMISSION - talent for a top school, a personal experience or an activity [3]

It has quite a few gramatical errors so I tried to fix some of them in the beginning and make it sound better. Hope this helps

Both my mom and dad are teachers at top schools,my brother was a brilliant student of a top university in Japan. Being born in to such a family put me under the pressure of high expectations. My aim has always been the same:top school you must be mine.

With all that expectation on my shoulder,I started to study for my enchanced exam for Ha Noi-Amsterdam(Ams) highschool-top highschool in my country.First I joined a private class of a teacher from Ams that trained students who want to enroll into that top highschool with a success rate of 90%.

Undergraduate / "Success is a journey, not a destination." - Transfer to Boston University [3]

I have to say this is quite a good essay and directly answers the questions asked. I liked it how separate paragraphs were used to illustrate different points. However, I think the conclusion uses some cliched sentences and you could come up with something better than that.