Hi. I am trying to transfer to Boston University and I started my essay but I would love so feedback if anyone can give me any. Thanks!
Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.
"Success is a journey, not a destination." -Ben Sweetland
Movies are a medium where one can express herself and show her creativity. Movies can portray a vision and open up minds. Movies have the ability to touch someone in a way no other medium can. That is why I want to work in the film industry. In order to be successful, in this industry, I have to obtain the best education. Boston University is definitely my first choice. With its amazing location, internship opportunities and study abroad programs, BU will help me grow as a person and a student.
Boston is not only a beautiful city, but it has become one of the go-to-cities for big Hollywood movie productions as well as television shows. Some examples include: The Departed, Fever Pitch, and Legally Blonde and the successful television shows Boston Legal and Cheers. Therefore, having my home campus right in the middle of all the action would be beneficial. Not only would I be learning in the classroom, I would also get an amazing education by just walking the streets of Boston. In addition, the location of BU will help me with research papers as well as class projects. Boston is a city that will provide a great college experience and a productive education.
Internships are great ways students can experience hands-on work in the field that they choose. Boston University provides wonderful internships in the film industry where I can learn new skills and discover new abilities that I might not know I have. In addition, I would be learning with top professionals in the business, which can be very beneficial by leading to permanent job opportunities or recommendations for higher positions. Internships can also open my eyes to careers in the industries that I might want to pursue. Thus, an internship would be a valuable experience in my college years and in my life.
The United States is the largest market where movies are made, but there are many other countries that produce extraordinary films. With the study abroad program at BU, I will be able to experience different cultures and different styles of making films. More importantly, my resume will be very impressive when looking for a job. This program will help me learn different methods in filmmaking and other cultural issues not known in the United States. Additionally, BU offers a great Los Angeles Internship program where I will be able to work in the entertainment capital of the world. Therefore, studying abroad is a program that I would take advantage if admitted to BU.
Boston University is a remarkable school where I know I can obtain the education I need to later on pursue a career in the film industry. Its ideal location, internship opportunities, and study abroad programs will help me grow as a student and as a person. I hope to be admitted next fall.
I have to say this is quite a good essay and directly answers the questions asked. I liked it how separate paragraphs were used to illustrate different points. However, I think the conclusion uses some cliched sentences and you could come up with something better than that.
With its amazing location, internship opportunities and study abroad programs, BU will help me grow as a person and a student.---other schools in the Boston area have internship and study abroad opportunities. I think you should sum up your reason in a way that reflects your seriousness about a particular field of study.
Even though I said this above, I think you made a good case for why Boston is a good place to take your education.
However, this is too obvious:
Internships are great ways students can experience hands-on work in the field that they choose. Let's not state the obvious. Let's just omit this sentence and let that paragraph begin with this one:
Boston University provides wonderful internships in the film industry where I can learn new skills and discover new abilities that I might not know I have.
I don't think you get specific enough about your goals in the film industry. You can take your theme a step further and add some mention of a few aspirations and ideas that are especially important to you. It would be especially good to include some mention of a creative cinematic project you want to do while a student at BU.
:-)
