Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by karen93
Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Last Post: Dec 31, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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karen93   
Dec 31, 2010
Undergraduate / "My Best Friend Mike" - Princeton Supplement [7]

much better :) just one thing,although it is funny, u should compare yourself to someone else rather than scrooge.
good job, its a great essay. n happy new year!
karen93   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "students and the best professors" - stanford a good place for me: teaching program [5]

on common app, it gives you an option for elementary education and teaching, so it makes me think we actually would go in as that if we got accepted. but honestly, idk if you could even get into any of these programs your freshman year or if it makes sense. be honest. be harsh. thank you. :)

tell us what makes stanford a good place for you

Stanford is a gorgeous campus with outstanding students and the best professors. It is a place where the students can grow both educationally and professionally. Every program at Stanford is amazing, but what attracts me the most is the teaching program.

I have been drawn to teaching ever since I began volunteering as a counselor at sixth grade camps. I realized working with children is what brings me joy, and there is no better way to work with them than by helping build the foundation for the future of our country through teaching.

Stanford's School of Education is what will help me succeed in becoming an excellent teacher for my future students. The new Teaching English Learners Studio program is also perfect because I want to focus on teaching English learners. As a child growing up in an only spanish-speaking home, I didn't know any English; ergo it was difficult to understand my teachers and classmates. Once I was transferred to a program designed for English learners, however, my comprehension increased and after four years, I was finally transferred to a regular English classroom. I want to help English learners succeed like my teachers helped me, and the teaching programs at Stanford will help me reach my potential to be the best teacher I can be for both English learners and non-english learners.

Stanford's alumni are among the most successful professionals in the world. My generation is the future, and a good future stems from a good education. Every student at Stanford is prepared to build a successful future for themselves and for society, and Stanford will give me the tools to partake in that mission.
karen93   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "My Best Friend Mike" - Princeton Supplement [7]

i love the first paragraph but i think you may be spending too much time describing the scene and not enough expanding on the prompt.

although the second paragraph does answer it, i think you could explain things in more detail. the paragraph seemed to flow well until "furthermore", it would sound a bit more professional if you didn't use those transitioning words, including "finally".

work on the transitions without using those words and maybe make the sentences describing how he changed you into different paragraphs with more detail.

also the last sentence is a little generic. end with a bang! :)

i hope this was helpful, sorry if i was harsh.

good luck!! :)
karen93   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "thinking outside the box" - What makes Stanford a good place for you? [6]

good ideas, but a there are a few awkward sentences. i notice you start all the paragraph with -ing: coming, having, knowing. it sounds fine when you use it in the second paragraph but try changing those in the first and third because it doesnt sound right.

try changing the first to "since i come from a place where..."

and the third to "i dream of traveling the world when i reach retirement, so i am looking forward to Stanford's study abroad programs so i can have my first experience with exploring the world" or something like that.

hope i helped :) good luck & maybe u can help me on mine! its called "stanford intellectual vitality: minority students and their reputation" thx!
karen93   
Dec 29, 2010
Undergraduate / "minority students and their reputation" - Stanford intellectual vitality [5]

Hi! I'm realize i keep repeating "minority students", minorities, and judged. if you have suggestions for substituting some of those with another word please say so. any other suggestions are greatly appreciated :) gracias!

Stanford students are known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

I am a rare minority student. I have noticed, especially at my school, that most minority students tend to not speak, participate, and to apply to prominent universities. This time it's not a matter of racism or prejudice, but a matter of acceptance among their peers.

It has come to my attention that minorities are ...

after edits:

It seems that minorities are usually the students who act up in class. Perhaps it is because they feel singled out in a classroom with so few other minorities. Perhaps it's fear. This time, their fear is not a matter of racism or prejudice, but a matter of acceptance among their peers.

Minority students have attained the reputation of being badly behaved, not performing well in school, talking back to their teachers, and rarely participating. Since this reputation is widely known, students who do otherwise are lovingly baptized "wanna-be whites" by their peers. Unless these students wish to be judged, many feel the need to uphold their "honorable" reputation.

The fear of being judged impedes many of these students from participating in extracurricular activities or challenging themselves in school. It keeps them from applying to prominent universities-even if they have the proper qualifications. According to their reputation, white people are the only people who are smart and wealthy enough to get accepted. They may not even attempt to research universities properly and fail to see that financial help is available.

Unfortunately, the reputation minority students have accumulated and the fear of breaking it has caused many to fail. The ones brave enough to "act white", however, succeed. It is this exemplary youth that help the other students overcome their fear of being judged by encouraging them or simply getting them involved. This reputation has begun to diminish, and with enough encouragement and help from parents, school administrators, and even other students, the bad reputation of minorities can be completely broken and a new, more positive one begun.
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