Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by HK92
Joined: Dec 23, 2010
Last Post: Dec 26, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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HK92   
Dec 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "I'm easy to get along." - A letter for future roommate [3]

Prompt: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to you future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate- and us- know you better.

Dear Future Roommate,

Hi, roomie! I'm Ryungnam Kim. No need to strain your tongue though, because I go by Hannah instead.

As you might have noticed from my last name, I'm Korean and I'm a FOB (just in case, it stands for Fresh Off the Boat, meaning I'm a foreigner). And I am not ashamed that all my friends always called me a "hard-core-Asian," however they meant it. I guess they were pointing at my fluency in Korean and Japanese and obsession of K-pops and being the president of Japanese National Honor Society and all. But don't worry, I can speak English fine! No, more than just fine. Although I sound like someone you'd have to use body language to communicate, the fact is, all my friends though I was native born American until I told them otherwise. So no worries.

I must admit that I'm pretty random. Let's say you and I are watching a camel fight on TV. Then I might suddenly stand up and walk up to a lab top, sit in front of it with a grave expression on my face, and start Googling "Israel current issue" and looking through CNN newsroom for a further reporting on how Israel and Egypt are getting along. But that's only the beginning of my so called "artsy impressionist side," as my friends put it. So I hope you'd understand me if I go, "(blank) reminds me of (blank)" quite often. I have this weird tendency to connect two completely different objects, especially colors, like oil paintings of scenery, to people and classical music. Please don't be alarmed, I'm not crazy. In fact, my friends find my explanation for randomness quite amusing and say that it kind of makes sense, but not really.

But my bottom line is, I'm easy to get along. And I'm really sympathetic as to cry whenever I watch Titanic, and good at listening while keeping my mouth shut about what I hear. So I hope we'll like me and wish we could be Best Roomies Forever!

This one exceeds words by about 60...
Please somebody correct my grammars (except the casual tone...)
And I don't know if the honesty is the way to write it (like I did) or I'm suppose to try to impress Stanford

Please help me!!
HK92   
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Demanding Columbia-"what is most appealing about Columbia & why?" [7]

Thanks ioannis:)
And I have a question for someone who might look at my essay!
Should I leave or take out the part, "to get around with talking about many things when asked for one" at the end of the 1st paragraph??

Well, I'm more of a fun-loving kind of person, and I just wanted to lighten up the essay that the admission guys must read billions in dreadful boredom...

Advice please?
HK92   
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "4 fingered pianist"- common app personal essay option 4 [3]

In the 3rd para., take out "the" from "After the emitting the final"

"Inspiration" repeats twice in "She was an inspiration for me" and "We both sought comfort, inspiration and freedom".. sounds redundant

Sorry I can't be more helpful

But I really can't suggest anything more because your writing skill is much much far superior than mine...:)

If you are submitting this as the option that says "Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence," which I believe is the 3rd one on Common App, I think your essay works perfectly fine!

If this is a rough draft, I bet this essay will be awesome when you finish :))
Good luck!
HK92   
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "the un-lawyer from hk" transfer essay [3]

In the 1st para., you repeated "environment" twice.. I feel like it sounds redundant.

In the 2nd para. "My main reson for transfer is because" isn't grammatically correct I believe..It's supposed to be "My main reson for transfer is that..."

In the 4th para. from the end, you said "I was only young," but maybe say "I was only (age at that time) or a child" because.. you know, we are still young I think :)

And your point is that -you chose the wrong college and a wrong major at a young age without much thought, and that you want to transfer because now you know what you really want to do, but your current college doesn't offer that major- right?

If I got it right, I think the important part is the last half...so the first half seems too dragging.. maybe trim it down

These are all I can find!! You are an awesome writer :) I hope you'll transfer!
HK92   
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Demanding Columbia-"what is most appealing about Columbia & why?" [7]

Short answer prompt: "Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why"
(maximum of 1500 characters allowed)
And here's my response...Please help!

If I could have the honor to make the Columbia University admission application question, I would make it "tell us what you find unappealing about Columbia." That way the answer will be quite short and more likely be blank, for the good of everyone, instead of gazillion ideas forced into a nice and concise short answer. However, if I must choose a single "the most appealing" aspect of Columbia, I should point out the paradox of the university to get around with talking about many things when asked for one.

Having a gigantic campus in the middle of world's most international and diversified New York City, Columbia University appears ironic for its small and cozy academic environment-and that is just the way I like it. Already given that the excelling academic quality and broad diversity at Columbia is world renowned, I am extra attracted to the university's claim that such a big college in a big city has "a student to faculty ratio of 6 to 1" and majority of classes with "fewer than 20 students," which allow "a series of small, discussion-based seminars." Although I have always hoped to live in the middle of lively and bustling urban environment, especially around places like the United Nation headquarter, Wall Street, and Broadway for inspirations, I also wanted to attend a big and diversified school with small sized classes and full individual attentions that I know I can maximize my potential in.

It sounds pretty demanding, but Columbia University offers more. (Ends with 1496 characters)

I'm not a native English speaker, so I would appreciate lots of grammar corrections...
Also, I'm worried that I sound too flippant(?) in the first paragraph
And the quotations are from Columbia website...could I do that?
Well, I should probably leave it to whoever corrects it for me now...

Thank you so much in advance!
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