Undergraduate / "pace movies and science fiction novels" - Stanford intellectual vitality essay [7]

Your welcome. Maybe you could provide a specific instance when you programmed a software/machine (I'm sorry; I'm more into biomedical than programming, so I don't know what you "programmed" :P) and how it impacted your life/view of technology/anything special in your opinion.

And good luck with your applications, too! =D

Undergraduate / "pace movies and science fiction novels" - Stanford intellectual vitality essay [7]

Hey! Good luck w/ Stanford. =D I also applied there. Your essay answers the prompt and is concise for the most part. However, I'm taking that your major is computer science/engineering; a lot of people in your major will write the same type of story. I'm not saying to re-write the whole thing, but understand that many students will have similar essays like this.

With a family of computer engineers, I feel information technology seems like a second nature to me . When I wasGrowing up, I was amazed to learn how small things, like two connecting parts,and rolling a ball, were based on complex theories of science. My calculator, the games I used to played as a kid, almost everything was based onhad intricate programming. Each dayDaily, I was findingfound and learninglearned something new.

Undergraduate / SCHOOL GLEE CLUB: Extracurricular activities [2]

What's wrong with it? It's grammar-error free, which is REALLY rare. It's on topic. It's golden for any college.

Undergraduate / Why MIT? Why Computer Science and Technology? [4]

Hey, another MIT essay. =]

I have always been in awe of technology.SinceCreating my first program in the 8th grade - which stored medical records for my parents' clinic - I have come a long waygradually advanced/progressed , building robots and websites, and carrying out investigations on the security of my school's computer network.

MIT's EECS program provides a great platform to experience different concentrations under UROP, such as neural networks, human-computer interaction and artificial intelligence, before homing into a specific field.

On the other hand, TED videos and news columns from the likes of Dan Ariely, Laurie Santos and Tim Harford have triggered my interest in the rationality behind humanand decision-making. I would, therefore, consider doinghaving a minor in Behavioral Economics and working with the Media Lab's Human Dynamics group.

Have fun!

Undergraduate / The art in Tehran: world I come from, MIT admissions [3]

Yay MIT! =D I finished this essay three months ago, and it's always fun reading this essay. (Sorry, my nerdy intro.)

Now to your essay. It does successfully answer the question. Very good content. Originality is present, too. However, it is scattered with grammar errors.

A grey, smoggy, lego city with flat roofs and dapples of color speckled out randomly. I was born in Tehran.My hometown: Tehran.I suggest using this instead of "I was born" because many applicants write that phrase. Be original like the rest of the essay.

Have fun editing, and good luck! =D

Undergraduate / "to become a journalist" - Why Columbia [5]

As a senior also applying to Columbia, I wish you the best of luck. =]
Now, with this essay, I see fluff (extra words) and grammar errors.
The first sentence can be merged into the second, and the first sentence is awkwardly worded. Try:
The prospect of studying at Columbia in the heart of New York City (fyi: Columbia is Morningside Heights across from the cultural side of Harlem) would turn a dream into a reality.

Overall, good content, and with "become a journalist" - elaborate on that. For what newspaper or magazine? What field of journalism? Investigative? Political? Medical?

Undergraduate / (the absence of religion) Rice: What perspective do you bring to life at Rice? [4]

Matt, the overall content and direction of your essay is perfect. It stands different from the rest of the essays since you're not afraid to discuss religion/philosophy. =] (I'm also writing on on my religious/moral field, too).

I noticed some minor errors, though.

I began attending any kind of church service I could; some days, I would go with my Mormon friend's family, on others, I would go to a Catholic church with my neighbors.

This sounds like a run-on and isn't parallel. To prevent the run-on, try
I began attending any kind of church service I could. Some days, I would go to a Mormon Church
with my friend's family; on other days, I would go to a Catholic church with my neighbors.

After that sentence, where you begin with Slowly, put a comma after slowly.

At times, I yearn for the simplicity of being told what or what not to do; an easier, yet unfulfilling practice.
A semi-colon doesn't go there; a colon does.

In your concluding sentence, "To Rice, I bring the perspective of one who renounced the lulls of complacency in order to adopt a philosophy that embraces a harsher, more fulfilling reality."

I would suggest to remove the "in order" because it really just takes up space, which you don't need to do since you wrote the required amount for this essay. Also, you can change "that embraces" to "embracing" for a more connecting effect.

I hope you get in with this essay, and maybe we can talk about philosophy if we stumble upon each other at Rice.