Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by gloriac
Joined: Dec 29, 2010
Last Post: Feb 7, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 14  

From: Hong Kong

Displayed posts: 16
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gloriac   
Feb 1, 2011
Graduate / My personal statement for Msc in management (LSE) [6]

i think this is pretty long personal statement.
My english isnt good so I wouldnt be able to help for setence structure/vocab used.
However, i think you should give a more clear structure or theme to link everything up cos when i reads, it feels like loads of different information combining tgt.

Hope this helps.

My statement was quite long around 800 ish words and I cut down to 7xx words to fit in 2 pages double spaced. So I guess you may hv to shorten it :)
gloriac   
Jan 31, 2011
Graduate / Eyes through the world - my personal statement (applying Finance master) [18]

Thanks Susan:) I ended up trim down to the below version in order to keep it 2 pages double spaced (It literally takes up full 2 pages already)

. Bascially cut off last sentence in para 2, first sentence in paragraph 3 , large part of para. 4 and last paragraph. Wt do u thk?
I hope the flow is still okay. Pls comment.
gloriac   
Jan 30, 2011
Essays / Length of personal statement [8]

i ended up 2 pages double spaced 12 times:)
i guess shudnt be longer than that rite?
gloriac   
Jan 27, 2011
Essays / Length of personal statement [8]

What is the perfect length of a personal statmenet?
I am wondering if mine will be too long :(
gloriac   
Jan 17, 2011
Graduate / Eyes through the world - my personal statement (applying Finance master) [18]

thanks Susan :)

I think I would add more details abt y I wanna study finance in the last two paragraphs from my working experience. Probably adding some points abt I have a chance to involve in local authority abt the Lehman Brothers. But I have a question whether I could well structure the two ideas - my interest in study overseas and interests in finance. Will I be too confusing?

Hopefully I can upload an edited version, thanks everyone! really appreciate ur help!
gloriac   
Jan 6, 2011
Graduate / Eyes through the world - my personal statement (applying Finance master) [18]

Thanks Wendy! ur comments are valuable.

What do you think abt the message i wanna convey here with the story in the second paragraph?

I try to go into the direction with 2 messages
1) I wanna hv international exposure
2) Change from accounting to finance

What do you think?

I will try to add some more details to support... well I will upload one edited version soon.

Thanks,

Gloria
gloriac   
Dec 30, 2010
Graduate / Eyes through the world - my personal statement (applying Finance master) [18]

Thanks Miranda! Your comments mean so much to me and give me some confidence =)

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes - i was in a rush when I wrote this =p

However, do you think the whole idea is okay and convincing? Because I only focus on my interest to study abraod rather than choosing the finance courses.

What about the term ' Eyes through the world'? Is it a bit weird?

Any comments are welcome :)
gloriac   
Dec 29, 2010
Graduate / Eyes through the world - my personal statement (applying Finance master) [18]

Hi all. I am new in this forum and here is just a really first draft of my personal statement. I have done it in a rush, so excuse for my poor writing. I really appreciate and need all of your help in this as it has been a headache for me! thanks =)

A little backgroud - I am from HK and looking for a finance master in London. I am now an accountant.

The plane gradually landed with all the passengers getting ready to get off board. As a regional business analyst, it is one of my job duties to visit offices located in different countries to better understand their financial performances. I have lost count of how many times I have been traveling outside my home country - Hong Kong, yet I always feel excited to embrace in the new working environment when I had the first glimpse of the new city. I have a strong desire to experience my life with global insights with 'my eyes through the world' - pursuing further studies overseas in finance would therefore be my next stop. I walked out the aisle, and it reminded me the first time I traveled abroad for the International YangQin Music Festival when I was ten.

Born and raised in Hong Kong, I was lucky to be bombarded with a mix of cultures. Since my childhood, I have been fond of music, especially the musical instrument that I play - YangQin. I have won in a lot of competitions, suffice to say the awards made me the best player in the city. It was my greatest achievement until I was given the opportunity to fly over to Slovakia for the International YangQin Music Festival, where all YangQin players worldwide gathered and performed. I was deeply amazed by how people across the continents had interpreted the instrument through their own culture. At the age of ten, it struck me so much the greatest achievement - winning the competitions in the city was just nothing on the international level. In order to be successful in life, I need to strive for the best with 'my eyes through the world', not only to be the best in Hong Kong. '

To broaden my exposure, I joined my university's summer exchange program. I studied in Italy for a summer, and spent two months backpacking around Europe. There I met a lot of interesting people from other countries, which further fueled my desire to break the boundaries of this one city called Hong Kong.

After graduation I entered the accounting field, and now after three years, I will soon attain my qualification as a Certified Public Accountant. My first job in PricewaterhouseCoopers provided me valuable practice in auditing. The most eye-opening experience was when I engaged in the special project of the local authority for Lehman Brothers' Minibonds after its bankruptcy. Many investors claimed that the Minibonds were malpractice by retail banks selling them as low risk products. Other than gathering information for further compliance investigations, it hit me as an epiphany that how investment decisions can actually affect one's life with such unpredictability. I realized how important it is to understand the dynamics behind the financial market and economy.

After PricewaterhouseCoopers I joined Intertek, a leading laboratory Testing Company, as a business analyst in the regional finance department. I have developed my analytical skills in handling the financial statements. I have also begun to question how these numbers transform into investments decisions. With all the places I have been, from London to India, I always return home wondering how the global economy have impacted different finance markets and what were the strategic decisions made behind.

Being a major in Marketing and Management while now working in the accounting profession, what I lack is the financial market knowledge which can provide me with global insights for future business. I have a good ground in accounting with my professional experience. However, I wish to pursue a degree in finance so that I have context to how financial markets function at a macro level. I would like to transfer my professional accounting knowledge into the financial industry, particularly in the corporate finance area. With my goal to be successful beyond Hong Kong, I decided to further my professional studies overseas.

When I was searching for financial master degree programs in UK, favorable reviews about the XX's Business School are overwhelming, particularly on the quality of the professors and job opportunities upon graduation. I truly believe University of XX l is a wise choice in furthering my career and allow me to "see through the world" across the continent. I simply cannot wait to land in this new place to learn and explore.
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