Undergraduate / RISD supp "reach for the moon", DiCaprio [3]

RISD: (200-400 words)
Is there something you love, have to do, can't stop thinking about? Write about a personal passion or obsession other than visual art or design (200-400 words)

Do I have a personal passion or obsession for something OTHER than visual art or design? Well, taking the question to mean that I should describe an obsession other than the major I would study in Rhode Island's School of Design, I will not be talking about my passion for architecture, but rather, other things such as: an obsession for my boyfriend with a six pack who brightens my world with his stunning looks, an addiction to shopping, spending thousands without a millisecond of hesitation, my excessive amount of traveling, enough to fill two passports, a constant reminiscence of my RISD college experience, or an unshameful collection of all my accomplishments as an architect. I ...

please help. its not finished, but is it too confusing. i wanted to make sure i was in the right path before i continued

Undergraduate / cornell supp: "a baby architect" [3]

College of Architecture, Art, and Planning: (500 words max)

How does the major you would like to study in the College of Architecture, Art, and Planning match your intellectual, academic, and career interests? Discuss any activities you have engaged in that are relevant to your chosen major.

Before I could walk, I was folding and cutting away origami designs. When other kids struggled controlling their pencils as they practiced their ABC's, I perfected the serifs at the tips to make it identical to computer generated letters. In middle school, I was accused of having my parents build a project for me, because it was just unbelievable for a 6th grader to have built by herself. In the summer of 9th grade I planned and built a model of my dream house I saw in a movie. In the summer of 11th grade, I attended a pre-college summer architecture program and designed my own models, while making sure my measurements were to the 32nd of an inch. Today, I dream of one day becoming an architect - one day I will build an environment for families to love, enjoy, and make lasting memories. Having moved at least once a year for ten years in three different countries, I realize how different conditions called for different kinds of buildings, and how much a different environment to cause a change in an atmosphere. The basic skills to be an architect were innate to me but to be a GREAT architect, one must have good communication skills, strong drawing skills, and solid technical abilities. Through participating in classes of AP Language and Composition, AP Studio Art, AP Calculus BC, and Physics H, I have developed such skills. But even with all these qualities I have much to learn to become an architect. Studying at Cornell's College of Architecture, Art, and Planning will help me become a successful architect, as I dream. In return I will become Cornell's promising alumnus.

is it too short? any grammer mistakes.

Undergraduate / "one of these stars I saw that night" - Why Columbia? [8]

Its okay if you hate it, just leave a comment pleaseeee.
I have to cut about 30 charachters.

The tiny dots in the dark sky that twinkle, and shine brightly - what are they? I look up to the stars and imagine myself reaching out and capturing one in my hands like a firefly. Each falling star is an opportunity to make a wish come true. So what if all the stars fell and landed on earth, how beautiful would the sight be. The night of Christmas Eve I sit in the car, a bridge away from New York City and I see it: stars on earth. The lights of the buildings glow and I see a city of opportunity to make dreams come true.

Columbia University is one of these stars I saw that night. I realized then, that I must reach for this star. Located in the heart of New York City, Columbia provides the perfect environment for a student to study architecture. I would be surrounded by architecture, which ranges from beautiful cathedrals and the historic Flatiron building, to the intriguing Guggenheim museum and our modern world wonder, the empire state building. Attending Columbia, instead of learning only from cold textbooks descriptions of buildings, I will be able to look at them with my own eyes, create my own descriptions, and fall in love with the buildings for what I saw and experienced rather than through someone else's words. But in return for providing a great environment, I will become a promising Columbia alumnus. Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground," but with Columbia University as my star, my ultimate goal of becoming an architect has become much more attainable.

I rushed this and I'm not sure how it is. Is the whole star thing to confusing or corny?
please leave a comment

Undergraduate / "An architect, just like my grandma" - common app essay (grestest influence) [3]

A teacher asks his student, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
The child replies without hesitation, "An architect, just like my grandma. I want to be just like her."
Welcome to 2061, when I have become an old grandparent, and my grandchild will have been inspired by me as I was by my own. My grandfather is my biggest influence, although I never met him, as he passed from a heart attack before I was born. But ever since I heard that he was an architect, I felt I had to follow his steps. Maybe it was the misfortune of his sudden death, but I felt as if I had discovered my grandfather's blueprints for some final project he never completed. As his youngest grandchild, I assumed the responsibility to understand these metaphoric blueprints and continue his life's work.

My grandfather served as project director of Korea's Gimpo Airport, the biggest airport in the country at the time. This was a global project which involved many architects- only the best of the best were chosen to participate in this project, and Grandpa Park was the director. He connected many countries together and helped spread Korean culture to the world, and I want to be just like him: I wish to become and architect to let Korea's customs be known to the world through my architecture.

My career path was set in stone at an early age, and I know this is a privilege most other students aren't able to enjoy. So, since I was ahead, I made sure to carefully plan. By the time I entered my junior year, I had already figured out the path to earning my degree in architecture. I developed an interest in Hanok, Korea's traditional architecture; perhaps it was how the curves of the roof juxtaposed with the rigidity of the framed white walls, or how the balance of the white sheets and the sienna wood titillated my eyes, or how Hanoks connect with their environment. No matter the reason, everything about the style appeals to me, and I want to learn more about it. So, my first year out of college, I plan to travel to Asian countries to interactively learn about Hanoks, and about how this style can mix with modern interior designs to gain popularity in our society today. My ultimate goal is to design a fusion Hanok hotel in the heart of Las Vegas to give the world a chance to fall in love with my country's traditional architecture as I have.

I am one of the few who are able to say that my grandfather built the largest airport in his country, but perhaps my own grandchild will be one of a fewer number of children who can say that his grandparent built a beautiful hotel in Las Vegas. I am not sure what skills my grandchild will have, but I hope my efforts and achievements will one day have the same effect on him that my grandfather's had on me. As tradition of Hanok still continues today, I hope the legacy of my grandfather will continue through my grandchildren and through our accomplishments which will remain standing centuries after we are gone.