Undergraduate / "I'm a girl." COMMON APP [12]

I think that it's very good and it explores something of worldwide concern in a very private and personal way well. You could explore further what it means to you to be a girl, and how that is important for the world. Also, maybe you could mention a specific conflict with your father and your internal reactions to that so that the essay becomes even more personal and specific to who you are. Well done, I enjoyed it.

Please check out mine?

Undergraduate / "summarize one's whole life" - My philosophy teacher influenced me [4]

it's way too short for the common app essay.

Undergraduate / "carpe diem" is my motto - Stanford --Letter To Roomate. [9]

I really liked your letter, you seem very upbeat and friendly. At the same time, you might not want to include the parts about you watching so much television. We all do it, but I don't think colleges would like the idea of admitting someone with lots of distractions. They way you speak definitely shows that you are talking to your future roommate, in a good way.

if you can please check out my essay?

Undergraduate / "Interested in Applied Math and people" - Why Brown [4]

Although I liked the poem, I don't think you should send it. Firstly, the second half of it (when it gets long) stops looking an sounding like a poem. Also and more importantly, you're not doing yourself any favors when you insult the school by comparing it to others. I know it's not intentional and you use that to in turn compliment it, however, no school wants to hear its more negative points from an applicant. I'm really sorry, I can tell that you did put work into this but I think it's too risky. Maybe if you edit it? You should focus more on the school itself than its competitors. I'm sorry that it's a bit of harsh criticism.

check out mine if you could?

Undergraduate / "It's just different" - Cross-cultural understanding --- CommonApp. [2]

It's just different

I have a simple experience of cross-cultural understanding. When I participated in a student exchange programs(since you're only referring to one later on) sponsored by the American Field Service (AFS), they gave me the opportunity to experience a homestay with a family in Japan. When I arrived at their home for the first time, they asked if I wanted to go to the sento (public bath) or Onsen (hot spring) to take a bath together. They explained to me that going to a public baths are very common and it is a culture from generation to generation to appreciate the guests who came to their house part of a cultural tradition.They explained to me that going to public baths is very common and that the invitation is a part of cultural tradition used to appreciate guests at their houses.

I was surprised with theirat the offer. Previously, I've never had to go to public bathhouseI had never gone to a public bathhouse . I never even thought to go there because in my opinion, take a bath together and naked is a bit strangeas I am not accustomed to taking baths, undressed, with others . I know it is part of their way to respect me as a guest and positioned me as a member of their family. However, the offer from them contrary to my beliefs. I tried to explain them about the reasons why I do not want to go to the sento and Onsen. Amazingly I was able to overcome these problems without making them upset and offended.While I understand that this is a way they show their respect for me as a guest and embrace me as part of their family, the offer made me uncomfortable. I attempted to explain the reasons why I did not want to go to the sento and Onsen and amazingly enough I was to handle the situation without upsetting or offending them.

Cultural differences sometime cancan sometimes pose a risk causing at the very least will cause the non-current communication, uncomfortable feelings or misunderstandings. But in my experience when in the midst of their familiesfamily or families? , although in aonly a relatively short time, I could overcome those differences and be able to communicate effectivelybuild an effective communication with all family members. In fact, they were very impressed with my ability to adapt quickly and familiar to all family members.familiarly to the entirety of them.

From the cross-cultural experience that I have had, I believe that I can do this because this is an excess that I have to build a highly effective communication. do what?And all the problems of cultural differences can be resolved well if we respect each respective culture without demeaning each other. Because if we talk about culture, it's not wrong, it's not right, it's just different . And all the problems of cultural differences can be resolved completely if we simply learn to respect each others culture without demeaning one another. When we talk about culture, it's not wrong, it's not right, it's just different.

I hope this is okay, it's just a quick revision. There's a lot you should add though, I feel like this is too short and not enough in depth for the common app essay.