Undergraduate / "The Dance teacher welcomes us" - indicate a significant influence on you [2]

Please help me edit must be less than 250 words, feedback please.
I'm not sure if its missing more of the part " describe that influence"
"Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence." (Common Application)

Looking up towards the stage I see as her arms swiftly follow her movement from stage right to stage left. Her passion for dance is incomparable. Her face glowing with such an inviting smile that the protagonist role she plays is very similar to her in real-life. The lights dim, as she becomes the spotlight and she continues to dance like there's no tomorrow. Suddenly she spins, with the tip of her toes pointing out; I know she has come a long way. Four years ago, you would not believe that the shy girl standing on stage today would be her- Melissa Ruiz. I recall years ago when we both stood outside the dance studio doors together, nervous and afraid for auditions: "Lily I'm scared what if we mess up? What's a Battement degage?" As we walk into the studio the Dance teacher welcomes us in, and immediately begins. "Ladies pay close attention and follow me." She stands up straight her neck held long, ready in first position with her arms in front of her waist; she delicately points her toe as Melissa and I scarcely manage to keep up.

A few weeks later, nervous again, we ran to the dance doors to find out if we had made auditions. Our eyes scrolling down the list, surprisingly to see we both made it. I love dance, and Melissa deserves my admiration for all she has accomplished. Seeing her on stage has influenced me to believe in my dreams.

Scholarship / "Not having someone help me understand my academic classes" - challenge [2]

5. Overcoming an Academic Challenge: *

Describe a recent academic challenge you have faced.
Explain how you overcame it.*

Please answer this essay question (600 words maximum).
We suggest you first write and edit your essay in a separate word document, then copy and paste it into the text box below.

In the course of my education I have faced several obstacles. The most significant academic challenge has been not having someone to guide and help me understand my academic classes. As a first born child from a primarily Spanish-speaking household, education became tremendously difficult because although my parents sincerely desired to help me, they did not know how. But this challenge did not keep me from accomplishing my goals. It only made it difficult-not impossible.

Kindergarten was the most difficult year; it marked a new important chapter in my life. Not only would I have to learn how to read and write but I also had to learn how speak English which was a new language for me. The problem continued during the year, but ultimately it forced me to become more independent and confident in my abilities. I quickly became accustomed to the new language; however the barriers did not end there. I recall that most of my classmates never had much trouble completing their homework because they had people to help them, whether it was their parents or an elder sibling-none of which were options I had. Although there was several times in which I wanted to give up, my parents stood by my side and supported me. As I reflect back on this period in my life, I can see that they prepared me for education and for life through motivation, support and encouragement. They taught me to always keep trying no matter what stood in my way. All in all they did the best they could.

Recently, math has become one of my biggest obstacles. Unfortunately, I cannot turn to my parents for help. But I have pushed myself to continue through the struggle by getting tutoring, asking for help, asking questions and studying. Thanks to the support my parents have provided me with I have passed the Algebra 2 course and have chosen to continue challenging myself in this subject. I am currently taking pre- calculus and determined to overcome its difficulties.

Scholarship / Academic/Career goals influenced by hispanic heritage [2]

Tell us about your academic/career short-term and long-term goals.
How has your Hispanic heritage influenced these goals? *(600 words or less)

As a Hispanic woman, my Mexican-American culture has influenced me greatly. Being first born and being female has brought me great constraint, but it has also pushed me to become more independent. My Hispanic heritage has given me the drive to pursue a higher education. I hope to be a good role model for my siblings and inspire them to do their best in school and pursue their dreams. Impacting my culture, especially young Hispanic girls, is a challenge that I plan to accomplish through film. By pursuing my bachelor's degree, I will be living proof that we can do it. Being bilingual will help my career as a filmmaker because I can reach out to young Hispanic girls and hopefully influence them to pursue their education and make their dreams happen.

During my high school years I have tackled several topics such as the topic of teen pregnancy as well as the topic of acceptance and diversity. As I continue to grow as a filmmaker, there are various topics I am looking forward to engage in, such as the topic of Innocence of a child. I believe that being a child at heart is significant to growing as an adult. My theory is that often as people grow into adulthood, some loose the child within them and therefore overlook those dreams that never seemed impossible as a child. I propose an experimental documentary where I can show the world through the eyes of children. I want to remind people of what it's like to be a child, to dream, run and play, to live in the present, & appreciate the smallest wonders of the world with few or no worries. There is a simple message: "nothing is ever impossible when you set your mind to it." Through vivid shots and well rounded interviews I plan to accomplish my goal and make a difference by entertaining and inspiring others.