Writing Feedback / 'Equalitarianism manifest' - the same number of male and female students. [3]

Hi everyone. This is my new essay and I really need your advices to help me to write better. I will appreciate all your comment. Thank a lot.

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Gender equality is recognized in modern society and makes women easier to carry out some works which are only for men. However, it is unreasonable if trying to manifest equalitarianism in everything like rate of gender in office or university. In my point of view, I strongly disagree with the opinion that university must admit the equality of number between male and female students in every subject.

University is the place students chose to develope their caplabilities, not to carry out the equalitarianism. Almost students select majors which are suitable for their hobbies and aptitudes so the rate of gender in every subject depend on their choices. Moreover, university have to accept ones who can afford requirements such as knowledge, ethic, finance and sometimes certifies of international contests. Therefore, the quantities of male and female in university are always unequal. If they require the same rate of gender in every class, many people might lose their chances to advance their abilities or success in their fields although the equality is satisfied. For instance, a student is the best in Mathematics but he must study Linguistics because of the gender equality. This student does not have opporturnity to develop his talent so there is the waste of prodigy.

Furthermore, some courses are really suited to specific gender because every subject has its own characteristics. For example, men work in mechanics are more than women due to difficulties and healthy problems. In addition, sexual difference causes psychological and personal differences. When a child was born, its sex was indentified to have the appropriate education thus a girl is more interested in cooking and sewing than a boy. If university accepts equal number of male and female in every subject, many students must study the things they have no passion in, therefore the advanced education is becoming ineffectively.

In summary, gender equality is not the equal number of male and female. University should create the good conditions for students to practise and advance their capabilities, that is better than trying to manifest the equalily of gender in everything.

Writing Feedback / Fatherhood crisis - women are solely responsible for deciding to have babies [2]

Hello everyone. I am a newcomer and I need your advices for my essay. I will appreciate your remarks.

Here my IELTS taks 2:

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up."

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are many single mothers who bring up their children without their husbands. Therefore they believed that the women are solely responsible for deciding to have babies and take care of them. In my opinion, I think that the child need both of mom and dad because fatherhood ought to be emphasis as much as motherhood.

First, bringing up a child need all his father and mother roles, without one of them leads on to the child might not grow up perfectly. Almost human personalities were formed when they were children thus the parents had the most impact in this time. Why do the girls act manly and the boys behavior girly? It is the result of fathership or mothership is absent. Parents will also effect to careers and life partners of their children in the future. Accordingly the son want to find a girlfriend like his mom and the daughter wish her husband have character like her dad.

Second, bearing babies and raising them up are not easy so a woman need a man who becomes her stable supporter if she feels tired or sick. In modern lives, women have more opportunities to work and they are also more active than they were but some special cases they can not really replace the man roles. Espeacially, single women have no time to take care everthing if they want to be promoted in their works.

Last, deciding to have babies and bring them up can makes the man take full responsibilities for their acts. Definitely, single life is more simple and easier than married life. Therefore many people want to refuse their fathership caused they do not prepair for changing the freedom. The person who responsibles for his behavior like keeping his baby and taking care of the child is really mature.

In summary, both of fatherhood and motherhood are important to bring a child up.