Hi everyone. This is my new essay and I really need your advices to help me to write better. I will appreciate all your comment. Thank a lot.
M
Gender equality is recognized in modern society and makes women easier to carry out some works which are only for men. However, it is unreasonable if trying to manifest equalitarianism in everything like rate of gender in office or university. In my point of view, I strongly disagree with the opinion that university must admit the equality of number between male and female students in every subject.
University is the place students chose to develope their caplabilities, not to carry out the equalitarianism. Almost students select majors which are suitable for their hobbies and aptitudes so the rate of gender in every subject depend on their choices. Moreover, university have to accept ones who can afford requirements such as knowledge, ethic, finance and sometimes certifies of international contests. Therefore, the quantities of male and female in university are always unequal. If they require the same rate of gender in every class, many people might lose their chances to advance their abilities or success in their fields although the equality is satisfied. For instance, a student is the best in Mathematics but he must study Linguistics because of the gender equality. This student does not have opporturnity to develop his talent so there is the waste of prodigy.
Furthermore, some courses are really suited to specific gender because every subject has its own characteristics. For example, men work in mechanics are more than women due to difficulties and healthy problems. In addition, sexual difference causes psychological and personal differences. When a child was born, its sex was indentified to have the appropriate education thus a girl is more interested in cooking and sewing than a boy. If university accepts equal number of male and female in every subject, many students must study the things they have no passion in, therefore the advanced education is becoming ineffectively.
In summary, gender equality is not the equal number of male and female. University should create the good conditions for students to practise and advance their capabilities, that is better than trying to manifest the equalily of gender in everything.
...and makes it easier for women to carry out some work which have in the past been only for men.------I made some small revisions here...
I strongly disagree with the opinion that university must admit the equality of number between male and female students in every subject.-----Okay, but you should give a reason as part of this sentence... Like, ...
...students in every subject, because..____________
Almost all students select majors which are suitable for their hobbies and aptitudes so the rate of gender in every subject depend on their choices. Moreover, university universities have to accept students ones who can afford requirements such as knowledge, ethics, finance and sometimes certifies certificates from international contests.
In summary, gender equality is not represented by an equal number of male and female students.
Great job!!
