Undergraduate / Would the theme of my personal statement(sometime in the future) be inappropriate? [4]

i would think that over coming a hardship would be an admirable quality- but it has to serve a purpose. How did overcoming this hardship make you a stronger student? If its for your statement of purpose, I would not make it a narrative of my depression, but rather how I came out of it.

Undergraduate / "there are people at home waiting for me" - importance driving is a privilledge [3]

**suggestions**
In a society wh ere driving is imperative, drivers must realize that no one is invinsible and we must all adhere to the social responsibilities we have. When we agree to drive a motor vehicle, we undergo various testsin order to beso that we are prepared and qualified for whatever we may come across on the road.B ut by making suchthis decision, we are also entering into a silent contract with one another.thatThis contract states that we will all assume responsibility for the wellbeing of each other, in other words we wont put the life of others at riskrisk one another's lives . Yet, we continue to. Everyday . everyday drivers are distracted by eating, drinking our morning coffee and by even by making calls and sending text messages. I can not imagine what it is like to lose someone soa loved one, like a sister or a friend inat the hands of a stranger who consciously made the decision to violate societiessociety's silent contract but as proven by facts the reality is that not everyone is as lucky.**as luck to be violated?**

There are several campaigns that are at work to educate drivers onof the risks of texting while driving, but unless every person makes a commitmnent with themselves to drive more responsiblymost of those campaigns will not work. Sure, we have all heard the dangers of texting while driving, but what will it take for us to really take action and stop our dangerous ways? States like California, Connecticut and Delaware amongst others have a hand-held ban on all drivers as well as texting ban yet it is proven (by who?) that even drivers who use a hands free device are still at risk of causing accidents because the usage of ausing a cell phone in any way, shape, or formwhile driving delays the driver' s reaction.

Driver distraction is not just limited to the usage of cellular devicescell phone usage . Visual and manual distractions also account for many deaths related accidents.W hen wea driver takesourtheir hands off the steering wheel to change the radio station or when we take our eyes off the road even for just a couple minutes *a couple of minutes?! thats a long time!**wethey are putting not only ourtheir own life's at risk but the lives of others at risk and no one has that right.as well.

edit edit edit- also maybe dont mention the campaigns unless you are involved in them. why is this issue important to you? what exactly are you doing to resolve this issue?

Undergraduate / "After my fathers death..." - Inspiration essay - UF [4]

instead of efficient maybe effective or successful
instead of: " be careful with what he ate and how much he ingested"
consider" be careful with what and how much he ingested"
saying ate and ingested may be redundant

Book Reports / King Lear - is there meaning or value in the deaths in King Lear? [7]

*disclaimer: i have not read King Lear :(*
transformation isn't totally necessary- one can die in sin and their death would still be meaningful, it would still teach a lesson.

If I were you, I'd also discuss the death of the unnamed character.
It would be a juxtaposition of a valuable death and an invaluable death.
Maybe discuss the importance of the character in the play and the effects on the audience.

Undergraduate / Extenuating Circumstances, "ready to move into my major specific classes" [6]

For the sake of expanding your essay, maybe include some sort of theme.
I'm thinking your desire to innovate.
Also, discuss how your creative mind will improve the field.

Essays / An Animal Encounter. that is my topic for my essay that the Professor assigned. [4]

Obviously, I'm not exactly sure what he means, but maybe you could include some facts on the animal you're talking about.
For example, I am extremely afraid of opossums, so I may include some stats on how many are in my region, how often they attack humans (which is probably never), and how many have rabies.

If I were discussing spiders, I'd probably throw in some information about how venomous they were.

Legitimize your experience. By that I mean, if you liked that puppy, write about the nature of that breed (and cite it).

Hope that helps.