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Posts by lovelysmile
Joined: Apr 23, 2011
Last Post: May 22, 2011
Threads: 4
Posts: 3  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 7
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lovelysmile   
May 22, 2011
Writing Feedback / Description of tea manufacturing process [2]

Tea, a soft drink made from tea leaves in the hills, is popular in almost countries in the world. The report will describe how the tea is manufactured.

There are numerous steps in the manufacture of tea. Firstly, the top of two leaves and bud are plucked by hand in the dry season and transported to mill. At there, tea leaves and bud wither by hot air for 18 to 24 hours before being placed into a rolling machine to roll, producing the wiry, and curl shape of the tea which lasts from 2 to 3 hours. Afterward, the leaves are put in tray in order to ferment for 1-5 hours. The leaves are then fired in the oven to destroy the enzymes and the stop of fermentation. Subsequently, the leaves are cut, sifted, sorted and graded into different categories at the same time. Next, the tea is exported when the leaves are packed in tea chests. Finally, the tea is tasted and auctioned by the experts before being packed.
lovelysmile   
May 22, 2011
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:Government should spend more on early education than on college education [4]

Education has now become the nation's concern -> a national concern.
Some people argue that government should focus its budgets on young children's education rather than universities . this sentence should be written in passive voice, which seems more academic-> some argue that budgets of the government should be focused on young children's education rather than universities.

relies on the government's budget.
university educationthe system of education in universities needs more financial aid to maintain high-standardgood qualified education and buildimprove school facilities.

you should check collocation carefully before using words
try to write sentences with the clear meanings.
because of restrict my time, i won't check all of your essay, sorry.
i promise to check it again and you have argument with my ideas, you can write feedback.
lovelysmile   
May 17, 2011
Writing Feedback / (LMU) (KCL) (ICL) - Compare and contrast three British Universities. [4]

Currently, there are a vast number of universities in Great Britain, so it is important for students to compare universities. As a result, the students can make a right choice of the universities suitable for them. Here, three English universities are concerned, namely London Metropolitan University (LMU), King's College London (KCL) and Imperial College London (ICL). My report will compare and contrast with these areas of locations, transportation, accommodations and library services.

First of all, the locations of universities have some differences and similarities. Of the three universities, KCL is the most convenient campus due to its being constructed in the city centre of London. In contrast, ICL taking ten minutes away by car is closer to the centre than LMU, which spends fifteen minutes driving. Consequently, means of transport varies considerably among the universities. With the furthest location, students of LMU prefer to travel by underground while those of both KCL and ICL support more possible option such as buses, taxies, bicycles and ferry services.

Secondly, it makes a direct comparison among three universities' accommodations. The common residents serviced by these universities consist of private halls and dormitories. However, KCL owns the most extensive range of residents with six modern halls while ICL provides students with as four halls as LMU.

Finally, all three universities have well-stocked libraries with high-tech facilities, particularly ICL possesses the most libraries, namely three libraries, and support students in available access modern technology. Moreover, these universities offer students many opportunities with an enormous number of materials and convenient opening-time which are useful to research and practice skills.

To sum up, all three universities have the distinct features, especially KCL is addressed at the middle of London and has numerous residents. On the contrary, ICL and LMU have facilities serviced for students. According to comparing these aspects of three universities, King's College London (KCL) is perhaps the best choice.
lovelysmile   
May 16, 2011
Writing Feedback / Pets are part of family? Yes ; IELTS [5]

People mostly have a pet at home, and it is one of their most desires. They are looking to raise their pets as their children and keep them safe as much as they can. I believe that pet should be treated as a family member because pets bring many benefits for people who love them. Pets bringmany happiness and fun to the family, help disable people do their work, and teach the children the sense of responsibility.

First, people alwaysusually feel happy and excited while they are playing with their pets. For instance, after a long work day, people need to get rest; and there is no funnier thing than playing with a dog. Children play with their pets like their dogs and get busy which is so please for their parents.

Besides, pets help disable people do their work. There are many trained dogs that help blind people to get their direction or other needs. For example, my friend has a problem with her vision and cannot to go outside without any accompany. She's got hera new pet, a brilliant dog that helps her through daily life.

Moreover, pets have effectivepositive impact on the children's response to their parents or their sibling. Having a pet at home contributes children to learn the sense of responsibility. Children know how to care of their sibling because they are good caregiver for their pets.

All in all, any familyies can find many beneficial related to having pets at home. They care about their pets like their family members, so they feel happy and never lonely . In addition, life would be easier for people with disability if they find their favorite trained pets.

your essay isn't good. those ideas are not interesting. moreover, you use some wrong word, please check collocation before writing and pay attention to article( a ,an, the) and plural noun.
lovelysmile   
May 3, 2011
Writing Feedback / Which environment is better for children to grow up? Countryside or City? [8]

growing up health , or promoting good manners in children.

People have more modern facilities in urban than they do in villages.

roads, subways , power supplies, and other facilities.

so the life in there is more convenient than it does in rural.

and beautiful views which lead to a healthy lifeare good for health of children

I think you used the words "growing up " and " facilities " many times, you can find synonyms of them to make your essay diverse
lovelysmile   
May 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / Teenagers should concentrate equally on all school subjects or only specific ones? [2]

Teenagers learn various subjects when they are in their schools and it is supposed that they should study equally all subjects. However, others refute it and think teenagers ought to focus on some subjects they are best at or find more interesting. These points of view will be discussed in this order.

All school subjects are considered to be equal by students who are the age of teenagers due to its benefits. Firstly, learning all subjects will assist mental and physical development. For example, physical education subjects teach students about doing and practicing exercise, so this makes it clear that student can improve their physical health. In the same way, studying art subjects can inspire and stimulate teenagers, helping them develop creativity in all areas of study. Another advantage which is given by learning all subjects is that teenagers have opportunities to both improve and expand knowledge of other aspects which come from each of subjects.

On the other hand, others prefer concentrating on some subjects which teenagers are best at or interested in. This is due to that there are some advantages of doing it. For instance, a lot of boy teenagers are keen on science subjects and the logical explanation of technical issues, but many girl teenagers are fond of the romance and poetry in social subjects. If students can choose to study favorite subjects, it will be easy for them to perceive and retain information and knowledge. Consequently, teenagers gain the most effective result in the exams. Moreover, learning some favorite subjects encourages creativity and produces the diverse of positive concept.

To sum up, each of ways teaching in schools has distinct characteristics which give teenagers better development of their studies. However, both mental and physical development is the most important elements in schools. Thus, the way of focusing equally on all subjects for teenagers is popular in most of schools.
lovelysmile   
Apr 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / Topic: Currently, many firms recruit employees with an equal number of men and women. [2]

It is common day that women can do work which only men have been able to do for a long time as effectively as men. Thus, an equal number of men and women are currently recruited to work in many firms. In my opinion, having men as many as women on company is a positive idea because it encourages creativity and balances the behavior between men and women, and I will analyze these areas in my essay.

Firstly, recruiting the equal number of men and women in firm encourages their creativity. For example, men and women often do lots of things in different ways due to their distinct thoughts. Thus, while they are working together, men's assess for some problems differs from women's one, which creates the effects of variation on company. It is an asset to the company and one of the main reasons prefer the equal number of men and women.

A second reason is that employing equally men and women will maintain a balance in their behavior. At the moment, many social organizations take priority over women and it is disapproved that women's status in a society has been unequal with men. Therefore, the government encourages women to participate most activities as men and it is another reason that many firms require the adequate number of men and women.

From this, it can be concluded that the development of men and women equally recruited in companies creates both diversity in the style of work and balance their behavior in life. I believe that the development also give many advantages for globalized economy.
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