Writing Feedback / The Devastation of my life - memory, transformation and tons of discretion [3]

i think it's already good enough~ ^^
it's clear and understandable. I don't notice grammatical mistakes o.oa

Writing Feedback / College/University should be free for ALL determined and qualifying students. [7]

yes, more detail would be nice ^^

but... it doesn't hurt to have a more structured outline~
here's what my outline usually go like:

Theme:
Thesis:

Par 1: Introduction (include overview of the problem and your thesis/ opinion)

BODY Paragraph (2 and so on...): (i often make a 5 paragraph essay, so i have 3 body paragraph most of the time )
(in each body paragraph, you cover about ONE point that's related to your thesis. and add supporting details that correlates with your main idea for the paragraph. You may also put examples in one paragraph, reinforcing the idea that you wrote. For this, you need resource)

Last paragraph: Conclusion (put all your ideas together and state what is your intention in writing this essay)

ps: i don't really get that counterclaim part ^^; but... if what i think is true, then... you don't agree 100% to the idea, and you're just giving view from the pro and cons. It is good, but if you're going to write an argumentative paragraph... it'd be better to not include those

Writing Feedback / story based on the painting Scream [10]

hey, i think it's written well already! ^^

my friend and me ----> i think it'd be better to replace "me" with "I"


My friend is quite an airhead so she thought it would be fun, and managed to get me to come with her

"is gonna" isn't a proper writing i believe, it should be "is going to"
however, i don't think it's good to put it there because being an airhead.. isn't something you will do. it's more like a habit/behavior.

So, the one i write above should do it :)

Book Reports / Descriptive Essay about a red -winged black bird? HELP? [12]

What is this red-winged black bird you speak of?
it's better for you to specify the bird's name, because red-winged black bird doesn't ring anything to me.

You're writing a descriptive essay, so put a clear description of what the bird is like. It would be best to put a unique feature of the bird in the body. Something that's different from other birds, or you can tell about the bird's specialty

hope that helps :)

Grammar, Usage / Clarifications: 'I am at the level 4 (4th floor)' or 'I am on the 4th floor'? [12]

hmm... i think it's better for you to learn and understand preposition :)

here is an image i found on a web that might help you:

beidaenglish.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/prepositions.gif

i do not own this image

Writing Feedback / When money speaks , Truth is silent [6]

it's a really good poem ^^
although i don't know some of the words :(

fix those spellings and it'll be better! :D
change r ---> are
bt ---> but
nothng ---> nothing

Writing Feedback / No-doubt, children learn much more both sense of competition and co-operation. [6]


this part here, i suggest you put your main idea here instead


particularly


in my opinion it would be better to replace "so" with "very"


suggestion: change it into---->they strive to win against the other party
(in case you don't know, party here means group or side)


replace the full stop (.) with comma (,)

Writing Feedback / Global warming; Climate change research paper. [2]

it might not be very important, but i think you don't need to add comma


there

i have read all of your essay, but... i fail to see the author's intention. The essay is about Global warming, but which part of global warming do you want to focus on?

btw, i have attend a global warming seminar one year ago. and IIRC (If I Remember Correctly) Methane gas are the most dangerous greenhouse gas- you might want to research on it :)

and, they also said: an increase in (...) degree will result in (...something bad...), increase of (...) degree will result in (...disaster) and so on. i believe they can be a strong point, but you'll need to search for it. I don't remember it accurately.

oh, and i'm a new member too, so i can't answer that... pay... thingy ^^;