Undergraduate / "the unpredictability of life" - Peace Corps; differing social/cultural environments [3]

Upbringing Through Education

Hey guys. This is the second draft of my second and final Peace Corps application essay. I've reviewed and edited based on suggestions from the smartthinking feedback team, but I always think it's good to get second and third opinions! So, how can I improve what I've written? I managed to say everything in under 500 words, so I've got a little more breathing room this time around. Also... I haven't thought of titles for either of my essays; are they really necessary?

I have never volunteered outside of the United States. In my junior year of high school, I became friends with an Austrian exchange student. Some might think that would be basis for an interesting story about realizing and overcoming cultural differences, but they would be wrong. In fact, I got on with Denise (the exchange student) just as well as the friends I had known for years. Honestly, Denise is probably one of the best friends I've ever had. One recent experience comes to mind that I think is suitable.

On April 27, 2011, Alabama was devastated by statewide tornados that resulted in the deaths of over 150 residents. Two days after the storms, my family and I traveled to Ohatchee to volunteer with the Red Cross. While Ohatchee's death toll was relatively low, the city was very hardly hit. Throughout the day, people repeatedly likened the area to a war zone. I thought the comparison was a little dramatic at first, but after seeing to the endless stream of needy, burning in the sun caused by the lack of shade, and witnessing platoon after platoon of power trucks pass by, I understood.

Needless to say, as I worked with the Red Cross, I wasn't actually in an environment that was socially or culturally different from my own, but it felt like I was. The people I helped were no different from me or anyone in my community, although it would have been very easy to forget that. The events that had transpired in the days before I volunteered placed a strain on the community. People who were once well off were now left homeless and hungry.

After the shelter reached the point when they could no longer accept donations (their receptacle's were overflowing), my father and I were sent to take care packages to the immobile or homebound. Here we faced our biggest challenge: convincing the care package recipients that we were there to give them something instead of to steal from them. The only way we could respond to them was with patience. Often we had to leave the packages by the door and move on. Other times the recipients were happy to see us, and would invite us in to their dark, powerless homes.

What I learned from the experience was the unpredictability of life and of the future. If the conditions in Sardis City, Alabama had been a little more volatile, if the temperature had been off by a few degrees, my family and I could have been receiving aid instead of offering it. I also learned that spending twenty-seven months in the Peace Corps was without a doubt what I want to do. Nothing compares to the feeling that comes from knowing that one's efforts are improving another persons quality of life. Like an education or a moral upbringing, the feeling that comes from service is something that can never be taken away.

Undergraduate / "quality of life" -Peace Corps; Reasons, experience, and satisfying core expectations [2]

Life Quality

Any opinions on how I can make this better? I've submitted my essay to smartthinking and have already revised based on the feedback I got there. But I'm still over the word limit. Do you think it matters? I'm also unsure of whether or not I need a title... Thanks in advance for all your help!

A small voice has been calling me towards service in the Peace Corps ever since I was old enough to develop a broader worldview. The plans and goals I have made for my life have changed endlessly, but one thing has not-my desire to serve in the Peace Corps. The question was never if; it was always when. "Before or after I complete my bachelor's degree?","Before or after graduate school?", and "How will this look on my application?", are questions I continue to ask myself, even after six years.

I wish I could offer more unique motives for wanting to serve in the Peace Corps, but my reasons are simple. Like every other applicant, I feel as if I have done little to give back to the world I live in, and the people I share it with. Sure, I have volunteered in my community, but if I had not there would always have been someone willing to take my place. My conscience, or small voice, or whatever one might call it, will not let me ignore the fact that there are people in countries who do not have the resources and number of volunteers that the United States has. The US can offer its resources and volunteers by means of the Peace Corps, and I would be honored to share my time and talent to help improve the quality of life for people in a country unashamed to accept the aid and friendship of an American.

I began volunteering in my community around the time that serving in the Peace Corps became one of my life's goals; around the time I began to develop a broader worldview. The majority of my past volunteer and work experience has been with at-risk youth. Ironically, I began volunteering with at-risk youth before I ever knew my Peace Corps work area would be limited to youth development. My job as a tutor for at-risk youth varied only based on the subject; my role as advisor, teacher, and friend was always the same. The process of gaining trust, giving instruction, and maintaining a friendship was always satisfying and rewarding work. Additionally, I have volunteered at local hospitals, museums, and theatres. With such a well-rounded background of volunteer experience, I think I would have no problem adapting to any situation I might find myself in while serving in the Peace Corps.

Of the core expectations, I consider two of them more challenging than the rest. Number seven: "work within the rules and regulations of the Peace Corps and the local and national laws of the country where you serve," not because I feel I will have trouble obeying the rules, but because I'm sure the rules, regulations, and laws are exhaustive and difficult to keep track of. However, I'm sure that I will be well educated on them before I ever set foot in a foreign country. Also number eight: "exercise judgment and personal responsibility to protect your health, safety, and well-being and that of others." I'm sure I'll have no trouble looking after the well-being of others, but it would be easy to disregard my own health. Every other expectation on the list I'm sure I can manage. I have found that anything can be accomplished with the right attitude and I would confront expectations seven and eight with an eagerness to learn and overcome the challenges they present.

Serving in the Peace Corps is not something I want to do for what I can get in return. I'm not looking to serve for any reason other than to improve the quality of life of those in the country I serve. After completing the twenty-seven month commitment, the only thing I want is the satisfaction of knowing that I have helped someone in a way I could not have outside of the Peace Corps. If given the opportunity to serve in the Peace Corps, I would use my experiences as a guide while remaining flexible and committed to improving the lives of those around me.