Undergraduate / NASA Inspire Program Essays. [NEW]

Please revise and maybe comment on my essays please. The character limit is 2000 and I've got 1990 characters so far. Thank you.

What would you like to achieve through your experience?

Through the program, I hope to obtain a higher understanding about aerospace engineering and participate in projects and challenges that would further my endeavors toward a future in physics. I wish to be presented with new situations that will hopefully provide me with some experience and knowledge of my prospective fields of study and learn more about the processes that NASA scientists follow. Furthermore, I wish to establish connections with NASA scientists through participation in the project.

Please explain how both you and NASA will benefit from having you as a participant in the INSPIRE Online Learning Community.

Over the past few years, I have participated in various activities that have both improved and reinforced my abilities to both lead and work as an integral part of a group. Through my involvement with several clubs and competitions, I have been exposed to several situations that have simulated the challenges faced by aerospace engineers. NASA would benefit from the experience, comprehensiveness, perseverance, and innovative approach that I have developed and would contribute to the program. I strongly believe that through my participation in the OLC and exposure to its members, I would gain extensive knowledge and understanding in my ambitions for the future.

Please tell us some interesting facts about yourself that you would like to share as it relates to being considered for this project. (i.e. leadership, extracurricular activities, hobbies, special interest)

Planning to become an art major in college, I had learned how to use a tablet and several programs to create my artwork. I joined Space Settlement as part of the art committee and I became deeply involved with the club. I not only learned very quickly how to use Satellite Tool Kit to complete my tasks, but I learned how to effectively participate in the rest of the committees as well. In robotics, I learned to design and program, using BASIC Stamp, several robots. I competed in a various robotics competitions and took part in ION's Mini Urban Challenge in which our team came in third. I have reestablished Space Settlement and have become the president of Robotics. I have come to the conclusion that the pursuit of a physics related future would be more prudent choice as I continually utilize my sense of design.

Undergraduate / 'I often feel sorry for my dad' - Common App Essay Influential person [6]

Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

I felt that it may not be too strong in the describing part. Any criticism would be appreciated. Maybe I should switch to my teacher who got me to switch majors from art to Engineering. What's your opinion on that?

A bedroom is meant to be a safe haven. Freshman year, a cacophony of knocks threatened to destroy it. That morning, I was awakened to the sound of my younger sister's voice as it competed with the deafening Cambodian music played over my father's extra-large surround sound system. She'd been convinced that I'd be accompanying her to the theatre this afternoon; however, I wasn't about to go that day. As she dashed out of the room, tears flowing, the door followed and slammed shut. A prompt violent knocking at the door following a cease of the loud Cambodian music startled me. "Let me in!" my dad commanded, "I know you hit her!" The knocking continued. Somehow, my sister's slamming of the door had locked it. Normally docile in nature, naturally, I didn't understand his accusations. I composed myself, tears running down my cheeks, and explained over the noise, but he wasn't convinced. "Just let me in," he confided, "I just want to talk." Somehow, the kicking and knocking at the door didn't persuade me. Acting against my better judgment, my shaky hands attempted to grasp the handle. It was jammed from the incessant bashing.

Several moments of silence later and the knocking picked up again, even more violent than before. He'd found a hammer. I, now in the closet, heart racing, eyes blistering, could only anticipate what would happen to me next. He was like a Khmer Rouge soldier as he charged into the room. It seemed hauntingly fitting that he'd come to attack my computer sitting there on the desk. How could it not be ironic that a man who'd escaped Cambodia in the early 1980s would be taking on the role of his oppressors in his own house? What's perhaps more ironic is the story about how he became as he is: I've always been told that he was the victim of a mugging somewhat like Haing S. Ngor in his early days in the US; however he was not killed. My mom's always rationalized it as the fact that he'd gotten someone else's blood in him from a transfusion that he'd undergone, but I'm fairly certain it was from a blow to the frontal lobe that did it.

While I do often feel sorry for my dad - to a point where I feel his actions are justifiable, I've found myself doubting that his steps in trying to spread his teachings onto me are effective rather than just traumatizing. As he brought his hammer down on the components of my computer, his methodology was clear and simple: technology corrupts, technology destroys (ironically). His crusade against technology has forced me to analyze his thoughts on the issue and form my own conclusions. I've found is that this methodology of his is often counterintuitive and a gruesome parallel to the events that occurred back in Cambodia in the 1970s. As I look towards the future, I'll imagine new ways in which technology may assist us rather than hinder our advancement.