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Posts by androidman
Joined: Aug 2, 2011
Last Post: Aug 24, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 4  

From: Russian Federation

Displayed posts: 7
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androidman   
Aug 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / "proportion to the importance of the work" - IELTS - Professions [3]

Topic: Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do

- How far do you agree?
- What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

Source: IELTS testbuilder

For many years it has been known that any action you do not be left without evaluation and earlier or later gets own response. When we are discussing about values of professions it requires wide approach, which covers all duties, challenges and importance for others.

To compare with other professions, teachers have more important role in people's both professional and personal progress. Likewise qualitative teaching guaranties bring up perfect specialists. Hence, excessive caring to teachers promises the outstanding accomplishment of other professions.

In the same way, there are job specialists whish are not allowed to make tiny mistakes because of being responsible for people's health, life and even nation's future. Obviously, health is the most important aspect of life. Therefore, it requires paying more attention to doctors and encourage their honorable work.

By watching movies, shows we relax or understand the life or gain some information and knowledge in entertained way. In addition we get motivation for future, cultural background and good behavior by at least try to be like good heroes actors playing. All of them is the outcome actors' hard work, talent and as well as their creativity. Also, as much actor will be famous and get more appreciation, so much his/her country will be well known and other nations get about the culture, the life by interesting the country.

Finally, it is unjustifiable to think that company bosses should be valued less than other work positions. Apparently, always the heads of the any job places are respected more because of their most essential responsibility and liability. As they create more good job opportunities, lead the team more efficiently and manage the business in an organized way , so much other work positions goes orderly.

In spite of having a great responsibility for persons' life, doctors get less value than actors. On the other hand actors have more challenges, since everyone can't be actor, can't make the viewer tremble inside and not able to affect the millions of people mentally by his/her plays. To sum up, getting valuable attention is depend on the level of accomplishing the workers' own duty. Therefore, every job positions get respect and financial motivation orderly nowadays.

I appreciate your help and any suggestions related to my essay. Thank you for your time.
androidman   
Aug 6, 2011
Undergraduate / my mom's fight with cancer--- Common App essay [12]

Actually, i don't prefer to read long texts. However, i read your essay with a great enthusiasm and forget about correcting mistakes.

Good luck!

androidman   
Aug 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / Advertising has a strong negative effective on the unhealthy eating habits [2]

You presented many good statements. however, after completing your essay my brain still repeats several words. I mean you have to avoid repetition of words, and phrases which are given on the question topic as well. I suggest you use synonymic words, namely:

unhealthy - harmful ,
unhealthy eating - eating inordinately, obtaining unacceptable foods
advertising - promoting, publicize
important - significant, essential
eating habits - food habits, food behaviors
also you can use:
eating etiquette,
common eating pattern
eating appropriately

Good luck!
androidman   
Aug 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS - the arguments for and against keeping pets [4]

Topic: Too much attention is paid to and too much money is spent on keeping pets, while people throughout the world are starving.

- Discuss the arguments for and against keeping pets
- To what extent do you agree?

Source: IELTS Testbuilder

For many years it has been recognized that animals are not just helpers for our work, also they have been part of our life as a friend or family member. While on the other side going poverty and poor life, caring animals or giving more attention to animals leads some people to think that attention to human lower than animals. Since old times animals have been one of the first causes of human civilization, for instance, by keeping animals and raising them farming was learned; by experiencing animal organism medicine has been developing. Similarly, caring household animals lead people to love nature and its pieces. Consequently, knowing to treat animals in a right way reduces the danger of animal species extinction.

In my opinion, taking versus the caring household animals with paying attention to the poverty is not right position. Since, they are quite different notions, caring animal has not a negative affect on people who are suffered by having no food. Conversely, having household animals, like hens, cows and so on benefits with providing food.

My obvious answer is breeding animals has no relationship with starvation of people. There are many other factors of starvation, namely ecological, political and economical. Money spending on animal is not so high than other sectors, so reducing the amount of money for animals would not give any significant change. People, as well as government should reduce financing other sectors in order to make better changes for the people who are living in a poverty.

After finishing it, I reread it. To say the truth i don't like it. Anyway i put here, awaiting your assessments. Thank you for your time
androidman   
Aug 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS "adult life at work" - What factors contribute to job satisfaction? [6]

The work environment plays an important role when people choose their job. A good environment concludes comfortable and safety working surrounding and easy-going colleagues. When people are in a good mood, it will boost efficiency of working.

just wanted to correct at least on error :)
androidman   
Aug 2, 2011
Writing Feedback / As everything has own pros and cons in this world, also computers impact on our life is debatable [NEW]

Topic: Some people believe that computers are more a hindrance than a help in today's world. Others fell that they are such indispensable tools that they would not be able to live or work without them.

- In what ways are computers a hindrance?
- Whats your opinion?

source: Ielts testbuilder

There have been immense advances in technology nowadays. Especially, technologies concerning the computers are developing faster than even blinking eyes. Consequently, our life have been as more relied on computers, as time goes on. Obviously, as everything has own pros and cons in our world, the affects of computers to our life is debatable issue.

When the first computer was applied to the work, people are surprised by its advantages and billion times more benefits than other tools or equipments. Nowadays, it seems strange if any job going without computers. The first thing that makes our work easier is it's automation and calculation, which is applied widely in industry and economy. Search Engine Systems, like Google, Wikipedia, Youtube got the place in our world as a giant library. They made so easier to find information, we just need to know to type word combinations. Social Networking Services, such as Facebook, Vkontakte.ru, help us to find friends and to make them closer. In the same way, e-mail services help to exchange informations faster than ordinary postal services. Above mentioned benefits are just in internet, other computer benefits in other spheres can be continued.

As every coin has two sides, computers affect in a negative way too. Abusing computers, such as continuously playing computer games may reduce children's interest to learn and study. Similarly, very easy accessing to any website, which provides horror, porn and destructive materials may harm mentally. Also, relying on computers leads to save all informations on computers or somewhere in internet. This information may be insecure because of some bugs of software or hacking the web-hosting service.

In conclusion, while we can't figure out our life without computers, we have to consider the negative sides of them. We are not able to ignore using electronic machines, but we can provide efficient security and laws related to IT. Moreover, working on fixing software bugs and to use computers safely reduces computers' hindrance.

I appreciate your help and any suggestions related to my essay. Thank you for your time.